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If you’re a kinkster and in an open relationship with a more vanilla individual, are you open with the vanilla partner about your kinks if you are already aware, based on prior general discussions and comments, that they’re not into those specific things? Looking for that proverbial line regarding honest discussion and honoring my own autonomy. Just FYI, I don’t think there’s a “need to know†in terms of sti risk as we’re both regularly tested and open in that regard.
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If you're in an open relationship with someone not into your kinks I think it is still fine to mention that you into XYZ. Perhaps we need more context? Not so much about what your kinks are but in regard to why you have a hesitation to mention or discuss your kinks with your "vanilla" partner.
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(02-12-2021, 06:51 PM)InbetweenDreams Wrote: If you're in an open relationship with someone not into your kinks I think it is still fine to mention that you into XYZ. Perhaps we need more context? Not so much about what your kinks are but in regard to why you have a hesitation to mention or discuss your kinks with your "vanilla" partner.
fear of judgement since I am almost certain they don’t share the same kinks.
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Not quite sure what you are asking. Are you asking if you should tell Mr. Vanilla about your kinks? Are you asking if you should find a 3rd party to play with since you're in an open relationship?
I can only speak from my own experience, and since I've been open about it on this forum, I don't mind talking about my own kink.
It's really no secret on this board that I really enjoy tickling my boyfriend. I've come to the realization that when I am in a relationship, my boyfriend needs to know, and be willing to take part in it.
In one of my relationships I was with a guy who wasn't necessarily turned on by being tickled, but was willing to submit because he know I enjoyed it, and much to my joy, he was very ticklish. Tickling him made me feel closer to him.
I think that you should find out if he is open to your kink. If he's not, you may need to think about the relationship, and how strong a kink this is for you. If he's truly not into it, and you opt for a 3rd party, there is the possibility you develop feelings for that person.
Or, Mr. Vanilla may not be as vanilla as you think, and you could have a lot of fun times.
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(02-13-2021, 03:29 AM)CellarDweller Wrote: Not quite sure what you are asking. Are you asking if you should tell Mr. Vanilla about your kinks? Are you asking if you should find a 3rd party to play with since you're in an open relationship?
I can only speak from my own experience, and since I've been open about it on this forum, I don't mind talking about my own kink.
It's really no secret on this board that I really enjoy tickling my boyfriend. I've come to the realization that when I am in a relationship, my boyfriend needs to know, and be willing to take part in it.
In one of my relationships I was with a guy who wasn't necessarily turned on by being tickled, but was willing to submit because he know I enjoyed it, and much to my joy, he was very ticklish. Tickling him made me feel closer to him.
I think that you should find out if he is open to your kink. If he's not, you may need to think about the relationship, and how strong a kink this is for you. If he's truly not into it, and you opt for a 3rd party, there is the possibility you develop feelings for that person.
Or, Mr. Vanilla may not be as vanilla as you think, and you could have a lot of fun times.
yes, I guess my question is whether you would be open about your kinks with a partner who is likely not into the same; especially, if it would open you up to embarrassment.
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Being open worked for me. I was able to get close to my boyfriend, and I had fun with his ticklish spots.
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Not really sure what you are asking... if anything. I am in a monogamous relationship, but we can be very kinky with each other, which I think helps keep it interesting and fun.
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Op here, twice above I see “not sure what you’re asking.†Well, in the OP, I am asking if you’re open with your non-kinky partner about your kinks...
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Question about your kink: Is it something you just enjoy or would your Sex life be unfulfilling if you couldn’t indulge in your kink occasionally?
What do you want to achieve by telling your partner about your kink?
Greater openness and thus trust between you?
Finding out whether he has some hidden kinks?
Forgiveness?
Permission?
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