Easy to get into an relationship?

[soulfulriver]

Hi Members,

Wanted to discuss about a topic with you all.

Do you think its easy to get a boyfriend?

Based on what I have seen in social media like Facebook, Tik Tok, Instagram, Twitter etc., I have noticed that most of the gay men have boyfriends. (like 80 - 90% of what I have seen so far).

It makes me think that it is easy to find a boyfriend and get into a relationship. 

What are your views about this?

Thank you.

[Cridders88]

For me, it wasn't easy. But this was more due to the fact I wasn't putting myself out there because of social anxiety. I found it difficult to talk to people because I knew it would lead to meeting in person, and I dreaded that. Iam quite lucky to have found the one, and it was through this very website. I was very lucky. I don't know where I would be now if I didn't find Toby here. And he was the one that initiated things, found me. Thank god he did!

But that is just one factor that can make things tough when trying to find a soulmate. Clicking with that someone and indeed finding someone that wants the same thing as you out of a relationship can be hard. You sometimes get lucky but sometimes you have to kiss many frogs to find your prince (cliché I know but it sums things up quite well here). That doesn't mean you should give up though. Sometimes all the pieces come together, but it isn't always easy.

[InbetweenDreams]

@soulfulriver I think that you've only noticed the guys on social media who have boyfriends. It can be both easy and hard to get a boyfriend, there's plenty of variables involved. The important thing is being honest about what you really want. Someone here on the forum recently said that guys sometimes fall in love with having a boyfriend but not the boyfriend.

[Tjemka88]

It's not easy to get a good boyfriend, one who would be faithful and had no commitment issues. I don't have a boyfriend because 1. I'm not looking and 2. I'm a loner to the point where I'm not sure if I want someone else in my life.

[Bookworm]

I don't think it's easy either. My past relationships have put me off getting involved with anyone again. I've become way too cynical to even look anymore, but I'm fine with it. I'm pretty much where you are @Tjemka88

I lived in a bubble before these lockdowns started; now I'm in a bubble within a bubble within a bubble...

[Chase]

Don't be tricked by social media into thinking most gay men have boyfriends and that it's easy.  It just appears that way because you can't always tell if a single man is gay or straight. I've noticed that "gaydar" is more or less a myth.

It can be easy to "get into" a relationship. It's finding one and making one last that's hard. All of the boyfriends I had, we just naturally fell for each other like magic. It's just that it was a rare occurrence when another guy who was my type was looking for something more than sex or friends. Then once those relationships naturally formed, they start off easy but reach a filter point that tests whether it's truly going to be "forever" or not.

Don't stress over not having one or not. All of my relationships have been formed when I least suspected them. For whatever reason, there's just something about being content with being single that's makes you more attractive, I guess because most people don't want someone who's needy and desperate. Don't start a relationship that's obviously headed towards disaster, but don't let the fear of heartbreak stop you from finding a partner, either. Life sucks but sometimes having your heart broken is just part of the human experience. It's better than the alternative.

Myself, I'm pooped out with relationships. If a guy sweeps me off my feet or I find someone I think is worth it, I'll give it a shot, but I could go to the grave single and not care. Once you had a couple relationships it becomes a sort of "been there, done that" and you stop obsessing over it.

[soulfulriver]

Thank you for your replies @Cridders88 , @Tjemka88 , @Bookworm and @Chase

[soulfulriver]

@soulfulriver I think that you've only noticed the guys on social media who have boyfriends. It can be both easy and hard to get a boyfriend, there's plenty of variables involved. The important thing is being honest about what you really want. Someone here on the forum recently said that guys sometimes fall in love with having a boyfriend but not the boyfriend.

Thanks for your reply @InbetweenDreams

 guys sometimes fall in love with having a boyfriend but not the boyfriend.

Actually after reading this line, it has made me start to self-reflect upon myself.