Migrating to another country

[Anonymous]

Hi Everyone,


I am a guy in my early thirties and a closeted gay. 

There is a reason why I'm still a closeted gay. 
I am living in a country where homosexuality is criminalized and the LGBT community is not accepted by the main society. 
I have heard of many LGBT people quitting their jobs due to pressure or being fired from their jobs after they come out.
So, it's not really feasible for me to come out here.

Also, my family is very conservative. I'm sure they will consider having a gay son is an embarrassment and will disown me.

There is a local online forum for gay guys in my country (I think it's the only local one available for gay guys). That forum is used mostly for hookups and I rarely see anything about relationships in it.
This is the common situation for most of the gay guys in my country: Most of them are married in a straight marriage and they secretly have a gay hookup affair without their spouses and families knowing. I find it very upsetting and depressing that I need to live a fake life in public and fulfill my true desires in secrecy. Also, I'm not interested in hookups, so I don't think I can fit in to such a situation.

I'm considering to migrate to another country (Australia, Canada or Europe etc.) where the LGBT community have rights and are respected.
As least I can come out (to myself) in that country and find a life partner.
I can feel more brave to meet up guys for dates and not fear the society.
 
I am so determined that I am prepared to learn foreign languages so that I have more options of countries to migrate to.

I really desire to be in a lifelong relationship and have a boyfriend whom I can cuddle with, take care of him and enjoy life with him.
After migrating, I'm planning to join dating websites and meet up guys for dates to find my soulmate. 

Here are my questions:

- Is it an acceptable reason that I'm planning to migrate to another (LGBT-friendly) country just to find a life partner and be in a relationship?
I mean it's not a guarantee that I will be able to find a boyfriend and I might still be single even after dating for umpteenth times.
Also, migrating is not so easy and simple.
I'm not sure if I can adapt to the new culture, customs and lifestyle. And there could be other issues like employment, housing etc. 
I'm not sure if it's worth the risk to migrate so that I could date freely.

- I intend to start a fresh new life once I'm overseas, to the extent of deleting my current facebook profile (most are "friends" whom I don’t meet in real life anyway) and creating a new one with the new circle of friends that I made when in overseas. 
Am I a coward to not let my family or current friends know about my new (but true) life and hide it from them?

[InbetweenDreams]

- Is it an acceptable reason that I'm planning to migrate to another (LGBT-friendly) country just to find a life partner and be in a relationship?
I mean it's not a guarantee that I will be able to find a boyfriend and I might still be single even after dating for umpteenth times.
Also, migrating is not so easy and simple.
I'm not sure if I can adapt to the new culture, customs and lifestyle. And there could be other issues like employment, housing etc.
I'm not sure if it's worth the risk to migrate so that I could date freely.

- I intend to start a fresh new life once I'm overseas, to the extent of deleting my current facebook profile (most are "friends" whom I don’t meet in real life anyway) and creating a new one with the new circle of friends that I made when in overseas.
Am I a coward to not let my family or current friends know about my new (but true) life and hide it from them?

To answer your questions. Yes, it is a perfectly acceptable reason to migrate to another country. Whether it is to seek out a n LGBT friendly country or to pursue a career, a dream, any reason that is to you worth leaving everything you know behind then it is an acceptable reason. What I'm saying is you don't need anyone's approval to live your life.

There are no guarantees in life. But, you will more than likely find a boyfriend if you seek one.

Several people I know have more than one Facebook profile, usually under a different name.

Plenty of people have had to hide their personal life from their family and friends, doesn't make you a coward. After all, if the result of being outed means losing your job, your family, perhaps your life... that doesn't make you a coward, makes you smart in that regard.

Definitely read up on different countries immigration laws. Some countries are difficult to enter or gain citizenship. Most western countries are going to be more accepting of LGBTQ people, however not all western countries are equal. Now, me living in the US, I'm inclined to recommend immigrating to the US. Now, some will disagree, but despite what you may hear and despite what you see in international news about racial tensions and so forth, the US is one of the best if not the best at being inclusive. Here's what I mean...

Let's say you come to the US and you're getting your driver's license. They offer the tests, handbook in just about every language. Your driver license or ID says nothing about you being a foreigner or an immigrant. Your ID looks like everyone else's.

That being said, I would encourage you to visit first and visit a lot of places in the US, it's a large country and people in different parts will have different culture, different climate, different food, people, accents, etc.

I think it is a good balance between being to live your life how you want while also being able to find economic opportunities, a career, etc.

That being said, not saying other countries aren't good choices, others here can give you their perspective about other places.

[Jay]

Hi there,

I'm from Malaysia. Raised in a Muslim family. My parents found out that I'm gay when I was in high school. They were upset. They have forgotten now/would like to think it was a phase. I came out to my friends/public after I secured a job and older.

To answer your questions.

Is it an acceptable reason that I'm planning to migrate to another (LGBT-friendly) country just to find a life partner and be in a relationship?

I don't see why not. One of my ex colleagues, a Muslim migrated to USA so he can live happily with his partner. But he's quite fortunate as his family members are liberal. His parents support his sex orientation and adores his partner. His big brother is gay too. He has a partner. But his big brother and partner live in Malaysia. Also my ex colleague doesn't have issue to migrate because he's very well off in terms of finance. He comes from a very rich family. 

I mean it's not a guarantee that I will be able to find a boyfriend and I might still be single even after dating for umpteenth times.

Doesn't matter because as a bonus, you'll find better security and stability to be the real you in LGBT friendly country.

Also, migrating is not so easy and simple.

Yes. Financially you have to be really strong. Also consider what expertise you are able to contribute to the potential country as well.

I'm not sure if I can adapt to the new culture, customs and lifestyle. And there could be other issues like employment, housing etc.

I'm sure it is scary but worry one thing at a time. Save money for migration for a start.

I'm not sure if it's worth the risk to migrate so that I could date freely.

Best is to broaden the scope on why you want to migrate. Yes, to find a partner. But in the end, you want to have a better and safer life as a gay man without living in fear. 

Am I a coward to not let my family or current friends know about my new (but true) life and hide it from them?

Eh, no. It's your life and not theirs. They have theirs and you have yours. If you continue to worry about what they want and needs, you will have difficulties to reach your dreams. And the clock is ticking. We're not getting younger (I'm 37 myself). Time waits for no men. Additionally, you have to protect yourself as you come from a country where homosexuality is criminalised. 

Personally, I'm out but I don't feel like out-ing myself to my parents and family again. Once was enough. I keep my social media away from my family. Same goes with my private life. 

Best wishes to you.

[Anonymous]

Hi there,

I'm from Malaysia. Raised in a Muslim family. My parents found out that I'm gay when I was in high school. They were upset. They have forgotten now/would like to think it was a phase. I came out to my friends/public after I secured a job and older.

To answer your questions.

Is it an acceptable reason that I'm planning to migrate to another (LGBT-friendly) country just to find a life partner and be in a relationship?

I don't see why not. One of my ex colleagues, a Muslim migrated to USA so he can live happily with his partner. But he's quite fortunate as his family members are liberal. His parents support his sex orientation and adores his partner. His big brother is gay too. He has a partner. But his big brother and partner live in Malaysia. Also my ex colleague doesn't have issue to migrate because he's very well off in terms of finance. He comes from a very rich family. 

I mean it's not a guarantee that I will be able to find a boyfriend and I might still be single even after dating for umpteenth times.

Doesn't matter because as a bonus, you'll find better security and stability to be the real you in LGBT friendly country.

Also, migrating is not so easy and simple.

Yes. Financially you have to be really strong. Also consider what expertise you are able to contribute to the potential country as well.

I'm not sure if I can adapt to the new culture, customs and lifestyle. And there could be other issues like employment, housing etc.

I'm sure it is scary but worry one thing at a time. Save money for migration for a start.

I'm not sure if it's worth the risk to migrate so that I could date freely.

Best is to broaden the scope on why you want to migrate. Yes, to find a partner. But in the end, you want to have a better and safer life as a gay man without living in fear. 

Am I a coward to not let my family or current friends know about my new (but true) life and hide it from them?

Eh, no. It's your life and not theirs. They have theirs and you have yours. If you continue to worry about what they want and needs, you will have difficulties to reach your dreams. And the clock is ticking. We're not getting younger (I'm 37 myself). Time waits for no men. Additionally, you have to protect yourself as you come from a country where homosexuality is criminalised. 

Personally, I'm out but I don't feel like out-ing myself to my parents and family again. Once was enough. I keep my social media away from my family. Same goes with my private life. 

Best wishes to you.

Thanks for all your replies. Not sure if I can save enough to migrate though. My earnings is just enough to support me and my parents (who are old). Nvm I'll be hopeful that it will work out in the future.

[InbetweenDreams]

The whole process is costly. The first step would be to get a passport. Not sure what that process is in your country but it does offer you the ability to travel to another country. The good and bad thing is that it seems like it is a process that can be broken into smaller chunks....but also gets dragged out over a long period of time to get things like a visa and the whole process of apply for citizenship, flights back and forth and so on.

The only thing I can think of and being at work I haven't dug deep into it is finding programs or organizations that can help someone through the process, financial assistance, etc. I don't know if such a thing exists or not but if something does I would certainly throw it in the bucket of suggestions. If you have a compelling case asylum would work, but a lot of cases are thrown out so it is certainly not a shoe-in.

At any rate, do not give up on the idea if that is what you truly want to do.

[ChadCoxRox]

I've had three positive experiences with this site for immigration to the US. All the very best wishes for you!!

Rapid Visa

[url=https://rapidvisa.com/?fbclid=IwAR2WIX_tvy6UI2mmFWnTdMtMMT414OukROqWrXmXunFegZDkI5z33Dlh_S0][/url]

[Anonymous]

The whole process is costly. The first step would be to get a passport. Not sure what that process is in your country but it does offer you the ability to travel to another country. The good and bad thing is that it seems like it is a process that can be broken into smaller chunks....but also gets dragged out over a long period of time to get things like a visa and the whole process of apply for citizenship, flights back and forth and so on.

The only thing I can think of and being at work I haven't dug deep into it is finding programs or organizations that can help someone through the process, financial assistance, etc. I don't know if such a thing exists or not but if something does I would certainly throw it in the bucket of suggestions. If you have a compelling case asylum would work, but a lot of cases are thrown out so it is certainly not a shoe-in.

At any rate, do not give up on the idea if that is what you truly want to do.

I've had three positive experiences with this site for immigration to the US. All the very best wishes for you!!

Rapid Visa

[url=https://rapidvisa.com/?fbclid=IwAR2WIX_tvy6UI2mmFWnTdMtMMT414OukROqWrXmXunFegZDkI5z33Dlh_S0][/url]

Thank you very much for your help guys. I want to hug you all