Showing messages to others

[Anonymous]

Suppose if a person is in a relationship.

Is it acceptable that the person shows the private conversations between him and his love partner (e.g Emails, Whatsapp Messages, Facebook Messages etc.) to other people (like his friends, coworkers etc.) and let them read the messages without asking the love partner first?

Is it considered as a red flag in a relationship?

[Cridders88]

I guess it would depend on the content of the messages. If it is a meme or a joke for example, harmless. If it were nudes and or private intimate conversation then that would be more unacceptable. Then on the other end of the spectrum if your partner was controlling or abusive and you were therefore showing messages displaying that behaviour to someone to try and get help - then of course that would be acceptable.

It really does depend on the context/message content. What kind of messages would you be talking about?

[Stefan Romir]

In most circumstances, this would be utterly unacceptable, and a complete betrayal of trust! I would busy myself warning everybody who knew the betrayer not to trust ANY sensitive information to them in private messages, and I'd be explaining why!

[calgor]

I don't think it would be acceptable. If you're in a relationship there's a level of trust(or at least should be)that exists between the two of you. I think that includes conversations between the two of you whether they are in person or online. How can someone share their honest thoughts with another person if those thoughts could become grist for public consumption?

[CellarDweller]

It depends on the content of the messages.

If it's a joke of some sort, or funny message, I wouldn't have a problem with that.

but something of a personal nature needs to stay personal, between the sender and the receiver.

[Anonymous]

I guess it would depend on the content of the messages. If it is a meme or a joke for example, harmless. If it were nudes and or private intimate conversation then that would be more unacceptable. Then on the other end of the spectrum if your partner was controlling or abusive and you were therefore showing messages displaying that behaviour to someone to try and get help - then of course that would be acceptable.

It really does depend on the context/message content. What kind of messages would you be talking about?

Messages whereby both partners share with each other about daily stuff, their personal life, work, the amorous words that they share with each other (I'm not sure if this is called sexting.) etc.

[CellarDweller]

I would think there is no reason to share messages like that.

[Stefan Romir]

This would be a matter of what I call "discretionary confidence". In the minds of most normal and decent people, that means that nothing would be shared, outside the real and original writer and the real and original intended reader, according to what the reader knows to be decent and fair to reveal, and according to what the writer was known likely to prefer kept unshared. It's up to the recipient to use this "discretionary confidence" and interrogate themselves, before sharing, about whether or not sharing would be, by anybody's standards, fair and correct. In the end, the only way to know is to ask the sender, first. In break-ups, that is rarely possible. In that case, it should NEVER be shared. Bitterness-driven revelations are the tools of the smallest of minds!

[eastofeden]

I consider a private conversation just that.

I would not share them and I am not sure why anyone would want to share them? Is there a purpose to sharing these? It seems like it would be a betrayal of trust and just a bad character trait as well.

[InbetweenDreams]

Suppose if a person is in a relationship.

Is it acceptable that the person shows the private conversations between him and his love partner (e.g Emails, Whatsapp Messages, Facebook Messages etc.) to other people (like his friends, coworkers etc.) and let them read the messages without asking the love partner first?

Is it considered as a red flag in a relationship?

I think more context is needed. I think it is one thing to show a friend something cute that your partner sent you and so on but we're not talking about that are we? I would say in many cases it wouldn't be appropriate and could be a red flag.