How to help a spouse with burnout?

[Anonymous]

My husband has been working very hard the past few years, increasignly more since the pandemic and work from home became the norm. It has left him emotionally and physically checked out of reality. I want to support him and am actively trying every day. However, I am also getting frustrated. The last few holidays, (staycations) have left me bored and restless. Weekends are spent in front of the TV and I am officailly sick of the four walls around me. I don't want to force him out with me as I can see he needs the re-charge. Nevertheless, I want to do more with my free time. I want to travel to new places and do new things. During daily life I take on the duties of cleaning, organising the groceries and meal prep. I even try to take myself off and do my own actitvites to avoid getting tiring him out. Is there a way to help him with his anxiety and take on more burdens. 

[InbetweenDreams]

I think communication is key. I think you should talk to them about how him working so much is impacting you. Just make sure you're heard but also listen to him. Why has he been working so much? Financial worries? Is he trying to get a promotion? Is he like me and can't say no? Does he want change? It is important to talk to each other but be gentle.

[CellarDweller]

This is a tough situation. I do think that @InbetweenDreams is right. You need to talk with each other about this situation. Has he commented about how he's feeling? That could be a good place to start.

[ChadCoxRox]

You've each done your part for the "home", he with his work and you with yours. Where's strategic play, recreation, and creativity? If you keep "working apart" it will be your outcome and maybe even a destructive wedge. YEP, communication is critical. That communication is best engaged as a team rather than one-sided perceived division and opposing dissent. "There's three sides to every story and then the truth." Study the ways of seeing things, addressing the situation from as many angles as you can imagine. Devise of list of pros and cons. Then alternatives, ideas, desires, hopes. Compare those with each other and reap the reward of enduring the not so easy effort. Your relationship is likely very much worth it! Don't read too much into your perception of his feelings solely by observation or without considering his giving his thoughts that fuel his feelings. His thoughts may surprise you, maybe even the very source of comfort and a solution focused attitude. I sure hope so!!!

[eastofeden]

Communication is always the key - or at least one of the keys - but the pandemic has had different effects on different people. Maybe he is not comfortable going outside or going on trips? 

I know alot of people keep insisting on getting back to "normal" BUT the pandemic has been the new normal for quite some time now and so alot of behavior is in response to this new "normal" - I think staying home might be one of those things. 

Talk about it - try to put yourselves in each other's shoes to see it from a different viewpoint.