I need someone to talk to me

[BlackDice053]

Hi guys..

I like men.. I'm almost 30, I had no sex, I had no relationships.. and I live in a very homophobic place that I will not leave for maybe years, because I don't have enough resources for doing so, because I don't have anyone waiting for me somewhere, and because f**king instability in the world right now...

I fell in love for the first time at my 13 or 14.. Since then I have loved many guys. Straight guys, of course.... Everyone here is a f**king straight... Everyone here knows how to live this live...

Two of these gyus are actually very good people.. They are my best friends now.. So yeah, I'm in the eternal friend zone))) not a single person in my life fell in love with me... And my friends, despite their invaluable help, are also a living reminder that I don't deserve to be loved.. to be hugged.. to be understood..

I visit a psychologist recently.. She helps me a lot.. She helped me accept myself and my identity... Because all these years I tried to change myself, to adapt to the "norm"....

I even gained faith that I can find people just like me..

But as a result.... oh... I'm a f**king idiot... there were two conversations with very strange guys from dating site that contained nudes... this people now know how I look like...  know where I live... know my real name... and I don't know if they will try to find me and do something bad to me, because, as I said, I live in a very very homophobic place... Here, your orientation is your curse, the mark on your head...

All of it is... quite... maddening, you know... knowing that you've lived your whole life side by side with people who hate guys like me.. That you have to hide all your life... And that all guys I've been in contact with are some sort of scammers...

So.. I desperately need your help..

help me to believe that I'm not the only one on the entire planet whose heart is torn apart by these people, this rules, invented out of fear of those who are not like the majority...
I'm fueled with emotions... I am crying while writing this post... I don't understand how can I overcome and not break under pressure of spiritual solitude...

I don't need f**king nudes, I don't need love at first sight to the grave... But I need for someone to talk to me, so I don't feel so alone, so I feel that someone accepts me for who I am...
If anyone wants to chat or maybe make friends, I will be happy to chat with you, just reach out...

[JDD22]

 Hi—So, I think what you're suffering from is Societal Loneliness, a type of loneliness you feel when you're among large groups of people. I for one, have suffered from intimate loneliness, where I lack sexual attention; however, you had mentioned that you had two friends if I'm not mistaken. Build upon your relationship with them to make them "Best Friends." In case you already are, I apologize. They can pose as individuals you can acquire support from when you're in the situation where you're "surrounded by billions of people yet still feel alone." With love, remember: It's just a feeling, a single asset to a winning relationship so don't sweat it! I think the two main forms of loneliness are: Popularity Loneliness & Loneliness Isolation. Popularity Loneliness greatly resembles Societal Loneliness, the only difference between the two is that Societal is when you're famous. Loneliness Isolation is where you're just always confused as to why you're so alone. Living in a Homophobic environment has one solution: Courageousness. Once you take action and express your sexual-orientation; be it, publicly; by the way you dress; or—of course—coming out—you give off the message that, "You don't fear and don't fear me!" If it's difficult to do so, go to an area where there are other Gay People that have already done so—it'll give you confidence to get started.

May I leave you with a quote?

"You're not lonely when everybody else is too" - ???

[CellarDweller]

You are definitely not alone, @BlackDice053 .

My heart goes out to all the LGBTQ people who live in countries where they are not safe.

The only suggestions I have are to keep yourself hidden, and save as much money as you can as soon as you can, to fund your way out to countries that offer asylum.

How can you overcome? Learn to develop your inner-strength and determination, knowing that you'll have a better life when you are away from there.

Please keep coming here and keeping us updated, we care about you!

[BlackDice053]

Hi guys! Thank you for your responses.
@CellarDweller, I have a bunch of questions about getting asylum, can I ask you them privately?

[CellarDweller]

I'm not an expert on the matter, but if you want to ask, send a message.

[richhix56]

I know how it feels to live in a isolated place. Most gays here are very reclusive. I live in a small community 100 miles from a city. that sucks. I will probaby never move. All my family roots are here.