I caught my bf on Grindr

[Stressfreelife]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for six months he’s really into the relationship we’ve been on holiday done all that stuff together met his family, his friends and vice versa. He lives overseas and I’m in London. We fly to each other every couple of weeks. Everything is good Apart from a little bit of issues that got me to set his location at his country and ended up chatting to somebody in Grindr who had no profile but was 0 m from the location. That person sent me a cock pic which was his penis, and then I asked for a face pic and received a picture of him in bed, confronted him over the phone and sent him screenshots. He’s denied it saying other people are using his photos  Try to say that I should look at his friends Instagram post to see where he is and he tried to video call me to show that he was which he already told me he was at home. That’s why I did that check and he keeps denying it, but I think that’s him , what would you guys recommend have you ever experienced this before?

[Scruff Bunch]

Pictures can be stolen - it DOES happen - and even manipulated, though this is less common.
I would say, currently, your evidence is limited, so I would approach it with QUERY rather than ACCUSATION. With LOGIC rather than EMOTION.

Though how this random, no-profile person got your BF's cock picture is suspicious, as is the 0m location thing.

What are the boundaries of this relationship? Monogamous, open, or polyamorous? Have you discussed this stuff with him?
Do you need Grindr and other such hookup apps if you are in a monogamous relationship?
Maybe it is time to discuss the boundaries and expectations of this relationship; what you need and want from it; how you like a relationship to be.

The more clear you are with each other, the less room there is for sneaking naughty things in under the grey area.
When boundaries are NOT clearly laid out, people end up justifying all kinds of shit with nonsense phrases like:

- "Well it's only texting, it's not 'real' cheating"
- "Well I didn't think we were monogamous"
- "Well it's only a blow job, not real sex".

[InbetweenDreams]

Anytime there is something I feel like my partner would wholelly object to, I try to bring it up and talk about it. Like we've talked about open relationships, we've talked about trying to find gay friends to hang out with, watch Drag Race with and so on. The subject on Grindr has come up and I feel like if I were wanting to get on the app for whatever reason, whether it is because we want to open our relationship, find friends or just to bust a nut. I would probably talk to him about it and see what his thoughts are.

For us, at the moment we just put all that involves Grindr on the backburner. One of the problems I talked about with him was how in my experience having gay friends has been an issue. Like the gay friends want to be more than friends even knowing you're with someone else, so I felt that using Grindr for anything might brig us more trouble than we want to deal with. I also feel like I would have a difficult time having a 3rd person in the picture. Maybe I'm just getting old and all the hype around the idea is less appealing as time goes on. Life is full of enough BS lol.

But yeah the boundry thing, is spot on....

Long distance relationships are tricky and I'm speaking on being a few hours of driving away, let alone an ocean. I do find it increminating that someone, from presumably his home location, has send you pictures of himself. That being said, people do steal picutres, people do catfish and all that. That being said, I think anyone in a new relationship should cold turkey the grindr, at least at first. I think we also get in the habit on being on these apps when we're single, like we're scrolling on Instagram, but I am referencing myself to how I used to be.

The other thing I am wondering is did you get on Grindr because you suspected this? Or do you normally get on Grindr?

[Cridders88]

The original poster has been banned? Blimey, must be some stuff going on in PM's lol

[Scruff Bunch]

The original poster has been banned? Blimey, must be some stuff going on in PM's lol

This keeps happening. Some newbie comes along and makes a single post, people reply, then they get banned. u wot m8

[InbetweenDreams]

Well....


Ok so just a PSA. If you have a long distance relationship of any kind and your partner shows up unexpectedly on Grindr at their exact home location and denies it. There is a pretty good chance they're cheating, but, there are also other things that could be going on. For most couples I really really don't think Grindr should be in the picture period, remove that shit from your phone. Establish boundries, like is having gindr on your phone ok. Is it ok to talk to other guys while dating? Those aren't really questions you should ask other people, you need to talk to your partner about it, because finding out about it later is a lot more difficult to deal with, especailly the longer things go. I mean picture it, you've been together for a while, things are going well and then you find out that they're on grindr suddenly. Are they cheating? Did someone steal thier pics? Is he just fapping? But is that ok? I mean simply saying that someone's asking for too much isn't really fair if it was never asked for to begin with.

I also understand that younder couples simply don't have the experience to necessarily know all the answers as to what's ok with them and what they should raise with their partner. Plus there's a lot of anxiety and shame that might keep someone from bringing up stuff too. Then again, some people just don't have much of a moral compass.