Hi, everyone!

[drocko17]

hi! :biggrin:
i'm drocko from Buenos Aires, Argentina, i've just signed up looking for some interesting gay people. i'm still in closet but i'm about to 'go out'... i'm giving myself some time to mature and be proud of who i am, to be more confident and happy, things are going on quite well, but sometimes i feel frustrated and sad about my way of life... i very often feel noboby really understands my situation, it's like a weird and depressing loneliness, i feel i always have to behave as 'society says', that's why i need somewhere to be more confident with my personality, just to be 100% sure and happy with myself when it's time to 'open the closet's door', and don't feel guilty for anything.

i'm 17 years old and i'm doing my last year at highschool, i'll study industrial engineering at university, i haven't had any problem in my intelectual/academic life so far, let's hope i go on like that :S:S. I love playing volleyball (i'm part of the school team) and I train swimming at a sports club nearby. I'm doing first certificate exam in december, I've been studying English for seven years at an institute (however, you might find some gramatical/spelling mistakes xD, sorry for that! let me know if u don't understand something).
ON THE OTHER HAND, the fact of not yet accepting my homosexuality (i'm about to, luckily; but during most of my teenage years i was terrified with the idea of being gay and feeling attracted to other men) made my social life quite difficult. I consider myself easy-going and funny, but most of the times it was quite difficult to know new people and not to be TERRIFIED and worried about HIS/HER opinion about me, thing that pushed me to be a bit shy and not so sociable, i don't enjoy being at parties all the time, getting drunk every weekend... i prefer to read some books or chat and going out with my friends for instance. nowadays, i'm getting gradually more confident and happy... i NEED to make new friends and find some other people, or to have a relationship with a guy maybe, that's why i'm anxiously waiting for going to university ...
i enjoy very much listening to KEANE ( , lyrics are great), and i also like MOBY and SNOW PATROL...

that's all for now folks, bit dizzy? sorry! that's my introduction, i hope to enjoy being in this forum
and i apologise again for my mistakes with english

[drocko17]

up!
is anybody here?
:biggrin:

[Udabar]

Hello, Welcome to the site... Sorry, but I will try to actually reply to your message when I'm less tired..

[Mark]

Hello and welcome to the site.

[ashleo78]

Hi and Welcome !

[spotysocks]

Hello Drocko

I meant to say earlier how lovely is the introduction you wrote for us but between sneezing coughing and having hot drinks for my sore throat didnt got the time. :frown:

I can relate to what you say. You described exactly how i felt before i go out. Not to mention the same taste in music (Keane, Snowpatrol ROCK! - mobi is ok lol) Well now i am still not out to everyone but if somebody wants to know me and not just being nosy i tell them. So from personal experience what i can tell to you is to be patient you are young and i think you are quite in the right track of being true to yourself so just take the right steps to do so when you feel ready.
You shouldnt worry too much about what others think either. You got nothing to worry or feeling guilty of. Guilts loose you precious time and consume too much energy so better get rid of those. If someone doesnt like you it really is not your problem other people will, so go out there and make friends. Accepting yourself doesnt necessarily has a lot to do with being out so even if you are closeted be proud to let every side of your personality to shine and take it easy, the rest will come to you as a pleasant consequence . mile:

Welcome to the site btw hope you enjoy it's a nice forum with people from all over the world.
Congrats on your writing English too, very good!

[drocko17]

Thanks spoty!!

I needed some advice at this time, have to admit. Looking for advice was one of the main reasons for signing up to this forum.

I agree with the deal of 'let it flow', that's why, despite the fact of being really anxious to start my new life, i try to think about every detail that still makes me fell a bit insecure and scared.
I've also thought about HOW i shall do it, i thought about the two situations: first with some of my friends (ive already chose them ) that i know they could actually support and understand my situation; dealing with friends would be the easier part i guess...
But parents are part of another story, i've also been thinking a lot and searching the web for info; cos it might take them a lot of time to get used to this turnaround... It seems as if they had to go through the same process of 'accepting homosexuality' im resuming right now... It took me plenty of time indeed :S i also have in my mind the right 'dailylife situation' in which i could come out... But accidents can happen!

I think i'm ready but...
dunno why i dont do it, i shall better 'let it flow' then, what dyou think?

[spotysocks]

Thats what i thought, if it took me long time to accept my sexuality it would take time for my parents to change their idea and expectations they have from their only son such as getting married to a nice girl and have kids. Well..the first part at least isnt happening. The way i was brought up made me think that being gay is a sin and something beyond normal and i couldn't have a normal life being gay. When i realized that wasn't true (a load of shit actually...) everything was easier. People are usually afraid of change but what parents want for their kids is to be happy and make them proud. And they worry about their kids, want them to do well.
So if the message that: being gay is not an additional worry/problem, nothing will change out of the normal and their son knows now who he is and is responsible honest grounded happier and stronger to face life so they can be proud of.. can pass across to your parents i think job is almost done.

I say at a thread started by Kevox how i told my parents. Check it out http://www.gayspeak.com/forum/showthread.php?t=163 if you want. You could send him a message say hi as you 2 are in the same situation, besides he is a cutie hehe....
However the important thing coming out in general and to parents is like you say 'let it flow' and do not shock them (too much...) the shocking technique doesn't work. Be nice to them but not so nice to get them suspicious lol When they are nice and mellow throw a little hint to prepare them a bit and fish for clues so you ll be prepared too.

[drocko17]

good tip that one of throwing hints, i'll think about it

thanks again!

by the way, what about your relavites (i mean, cousins, aunts, grandmum/dad, etc)? Are you still in the colset with them?
They always ask me about girlfriends, and try to 'link' me with girls they know... bfff... I feel rather stupid and angry in that kind of situation, i hate the question: 'How is it going with girls?', I always have to answer... 'I'm on that!', pretending to be on my search for girls... how idiotic...
but on the other side it would be very embarrasing for me to go with another boy and tell to muy cousins: 'Hey, hes my boyfriend!'...i dont know if i should or shouln't do that... but they're my cousins and i grew up with them... :S thats my own problem, unluckily

[spotysocks]

I just had to tell parents and friends. My grandparents died when i was quite young. I let my parents to choose who they want to tell as i dont personally have a close relationship with uncles/aunties and most of my cousins and didnt find it necessary to tell. I have so many that i havent even met.