?

[ardus]

I've been here a while, I'm not sure what I want or where to go from here. I'm 30 years old, and I'm good at my job, but it seems to me that there should be something more.

I don't know if what I am feeling is just being alone or just not being sure what I need?

I know that there are people men and women that make me happy, but I can't seem to keep it together with any of them.

Maybe I'm fucked up, maybe I am normal, I don't know.

[marshlander]

What is normal? The job you are good at also happens to be one that most people would not choose to do. The stuff you have to experience on a daily basis must have some effect on people around you who would like to love you, but may find the emotional risks challenging. Should you get it together with a citizen you both know you are going to be separated for lengthy periods of time and you will be in a situation where your life is in danger. You can't begin a normal relationship with anyone you meet at work because of "don't ask, don't tell".

Ardus, that you keep going as you do is a minor miracle. I love to read about your adventures in the kitchen.

Best wishes and

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Hi. Ardus.

I agree with Marshlander, you are under a lot of stress because your job is dangerous. You are not alone, other guys do the same job and have the same problems.

Just hang in there, you will always find a home here.

[fredv3b]

I'm 30 years old, and I'm good at my job, but it seems to me that there should be something more.

I don't know if what I am feeling is just being alone or just not being sure what I need?

If your job is all there is to your life then there certainly should be something more. Something that expands your horizons. That might be someone, on the other hand it might be reading a few good books, attending a few concerts, travelling (outside of work), a hobby (something to do purely for the sake of doing it).

I know that is rather vague 'fortune cookie' wisdom but, I am afraid, it is all I have to offer.

[peterinmalaga]

Hi Ardus, If you were “fucked up”
1. You would know it, really.
2. You would not be good at your job or any other job.
3. You would not be able to describe your situation so lucidly and succinctly.
So I think it is safe to assume that you are as normal as anyone else on the planet. You say "I know that there are people men and women that make me happy, but I can't seem to keep it together with any of them." Perhaps you should have added "yet". I didn't know what I wanted at your age either. You are a young man and you've got a lot going for you. If you need more concrete advice, maybe you could give us a bit more detail. Keep asking the questions and you’ll get the right answer in the end.
Peter

[fjp999]

[COLOR="Purple"]Hey ardus, sorry to hear of your current mind set...

I cant remember now but are you still in the service and fighting overseas.

I kinda remember you had plans to leave the service at some time. Not sure.

I dont have any experience with anyone in the military so cant really grasp the concept but not only does it take a special person to join up but a special person to stand behind such a military member.

I think are very normal and at this point in your life are making certain sacrifices for a job you have chosen. Cant tell ya what is going to happen in the future but you seem a really good catch [/COLOR]

[ardus]

thanks for the responses and the reinforcement guys.

FJP yes I am still in the Army and yes I am planning to get out next February, want to go back to college and then get a real job and get away from all this stress and craziness.