THE BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR - SO FAR
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, 'Is something wrong?'
To which she replied, 'There certainly is!'
( This is a beauty...)
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL!'
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Did you hear this one?
A robber breaks into a home and hears a voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
Startled, he asks, "Who said that?"
Again, the voice says, "Jesus is watching you."
The robber turns around to see a parrot. He asks the parrot what his name is. The parrot replies, "Cornelius."
The robber asks, "Who names a parrot 'Cornelius'?"
The parrot replies, "The same person who named that rottweiler behind you Jesus."
•
Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully "loaded."
The third man said "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so incredibly well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.
The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
•
Am glad am a bleached blonde. 
•
haha i love blonde jokes! here's a good one:
A blonde and a brunette are chatting about their boyfriends. The blonde mentions the fact that her boyfriend has dandruff and is a total turn off, to which the brunette says "yeah, my boyfriend used to have dandruff but i gave him Head and Shoulders and that cleared it right up." The blonde relplies "really? thats awesome!...how do i give shoulders though?"
•
Another blonde joke for you.
A BLONDE'S YEAR IN REVIEW
January
Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February
Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.....Helllloooo!!!........bottles won't fit in printer !!!
March
Got really excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said '2-4 years!'
April
Trapped on escalator for hours .... power went out!!!
May
Tried to make Kool-Aid.....wrong instructions....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June
Tried to go water skiing.......couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July
Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August
Got locked out of my car in rain storm.....car swamped because soft-top was open.
September
The capital of California is 'C'.....isn't it???
October
Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.
November
Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days .. instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!
December
Couldn't call 911 . 'duh'.....there's no 'eleven' Button on the stupid phone!!!
•
Mrs Jones (who was young and blond) goes to the doctor and says: “I'm so embarrassed, doctor, but I have this awful itch down there. I'm sure one of my pet parrots must have got up there”. “No, says the doctor, that is practically impossible. You must be imagining it.” “Oh, but I'm so uncomfortable”, says Mrs J, “Would you give me an examination, doctor, please?” After much persuading the doctor agrees agrees and while he's examining her says: “No sign of parrots, Mrs Jones, but I can see you've had a cockatoo up here.”
•
Rychard the Lionheart Wrote:Four men went golfing one day. Three of them headed to the first tee and the fourth went into the clubhouse to take care of the bill. The three men started talking and bragging about their sons.
The first man told the others, "My son is a home builder, and he is so successful that he gave a friend a new home for free. Just gave it to him!"
The second man said, "My son was a car salesman, and now he owns a multi-line dealership. He's so successful that he gave one of his friends a new Mercedes, fully "loaded."
The third man said "My son is a stockbroker, and he's doing so incredibly well that he gave his friend an entire portfolio."
The fourth man joined them on the tee after a few minutes of taking care of business.
The first man mentioned, "We were just talking about our sons. How is yours doing?"
The fourth man replied, "Well, my son is gay and go-go dances in a gay bar."
The other three men grew silent as he continued, "I'm not totally thrilled about the dancing job, but he must be doing well. His last three boyfriends gave him a house, a brand new Mercedes, and a stock portfolio."
I love this! (:
•
Another blonde joke for you.
A blond girl comes back from school one evening.
She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count.
Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ! That's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond?"
"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at
school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D,
but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! That's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"
"Yes darling it's because you're blond."
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming,
and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"
She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D tits at her mum. "Is that because
I'm blond, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."
•
Rychard the Lionheart Wrote:Another blonde joke for you.
A blond girl comes back from school one evening.
She runs to her mum and says: "Mummy today at school we learnt how to count.
Well, all the other girls only counted to 5, but listen to me:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 ! That's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond?"
"Yes darling, it's because you're blond."
Next day, the little girl comes back from school and says: "Mummy, today at
school we learnt the alphabet. All the other girls only went as far as D,
but listen to me: A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K ! That's good, innit?"
"Yes darling, very good."
"Is that because I'm blond, mummy?"
"Yes darling it's because you're blond."
Next Day, she returns from school and cries: "Mummy, today we went swimming,
and well, all the other girls have no breasts, but look at me!"
She proceeds to flash her impressive 36 D tits at her mum. "Is that because
I'm blond, mummy?"
"No darling, it's because you're 25."
LOL. <3
•
|
