Some of these are really good  x
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They just keep coming, don't they. 
A blonde was on vacation and driving through Darwin . She desperately wanted to take home a pair of genuine crocodile shoes but was very reluctant to pay thehigh prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted,
"Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own crocodile, so I can get a pair of shoes for free"
The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady, just go and give it a try"!
The blonde headed out toward the river, determined to catch a crocodile! Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the bank where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.
Just then, he spots a huge 3 metre croc swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy banks of the river. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggled and flipped the Croc onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out.......
" SH1T, SH1T, THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO"!
(sorry for the four letter words at the end)
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Some more for you.  mile:
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "it's A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!"
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Sorry but found some more.
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn.
She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature.
Her question was: "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that consists of yes/no type questions.
She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out her purse, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin, marking the answer sheet: Yes, for Heads, and No, for Tails. within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin, muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."
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Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude."
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Mama needs new clothes!"
Then she hollered..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
She jumped up and down and hugged each of the dealers. She then picked up all the money and clothes and quickly departed.
The dealers just stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"
The other answered, "I don't know I thought YOU were watching!"
Moral: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
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The Irish vs The Blonde
Two Irish engineers were standing at the base of a flagpole, Looking up.
A blonde walked by and asks what they are doing.
Paddy said: "We're supposed to find the height of this flagpole, but we don't have a ladder"
The blonde took a spanner from her purse, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She then pulled a tape measure from her pocket, took a few measurements and announced that it was eighteen feet and six inches. She then walked off. Mick said: "Ain't that just like a blonde! We need the height and she gives us the length"
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Yes another one.
A blonde walks into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for
some rectum deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused,
explains to the woman they don't sell rectum deodorant,
and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures the pharmacist
that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular
basis, and would like some more.
"I'm sorry", says the pharmacist, "we don't have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.
"Do you have the container it comes in?" asks the pharmacist.
"YES!", said the blonde, "I'll go home and get it."
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist who
looks at it and says to her "This is just a normal stick of underarm
deodorant."
Annoyed, the blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud
from the container... "TO APPLY, PUSH UP BOTTOM!!
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Sorry folks, more is coming.
THE BLONDE'S GUIDE TO GEOGRAPHY.
Two blondes are in Australia. One says to the other, "Which is furthest, London or the moon?"
The other blonde replies, "Hellooo… can you see London from here?"
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I did warn you.
Yet another blonde joke.
A car gets a flat on the interstate one day.
The blonde driver eases it over onto the shoulder of the road, carefully steps out of the car and opens the trunk.
She takes out two cardboard men, unfolds them and stands them at the rear of the vehicle facing oncoming traffic.
The lifelike cardboard men are in trench coats exposing their nude bodies and private parts to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, the traffic becomes snarled and backed up.
It isn't very long before a police car arrives.
The officer, clearly enraged, approaches the blonde of the disabled Vehicle yelling, "What's going on here?"
"My car broke down, officer" says the woman calmly.
"Well, what the hell are these obscene cardboard pictures doing here by the road?" he asks.
"Helllooooooo!!!!" says the blonde.
"Those are my emergency flashers!"
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Really sorry but I have another for you.
A blonde decides to do something wild she hasn't done before, so she sets out to rent her first x-rated adult video.
She goes to the video store and, after looking around for a while, selects a title that sounds very stimulating. She drives home, lights some candles, slips into some- thing comfortable, and puts the tape in the VCR. To her disappointment though, there's nothing but static on the screen, so she calls the video store to complain.
‘I just rented an adult movie from you and there's nothing on the tape, but static.’
‘Sorry about, that,’ replied the store clerk. ‘We've had problems with some of those tapes. Which title did you rent?’
Replies the blonde, ‘It's called, 'Head Cleaner'.’
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