Unnatractive? Or something else?

[rb17]

So I've noticed this reccuring theme in my relationships, and it's starting to depress me. There was this cute guy at college, and before it even started it ended with him saying I'm not his type, but we should just be friends - which I'd love to be..

But at the same time, I've noticed that this is the same thing that happens all the time; and I just wonder if I'm doing something wrong. Like... every guy I've ever dated has ended it saying "you're not my type", "Maybe we can be friends" or "I'm just not attracted to you" etc.. and usually I get a decent friendship out of it, but the more this happens the more it hurts.

I mean, it really doesn't do my esteem any good - and lately my confidence hasn't been what i8t used to. But it made me think, why can't I find someone to really give me a chance? Is it cause I don't look so great, or do I just suck at dating?

Any ideas?

[kitschcamp]

Hmm. Well first I think it's fair to say if that's your picture, it's unlikely to be you're butt ugly. You clearly aren't.

I hate to say it, but sometimes things just don't work out, and "not my type" "it's not going to work" is one of those easy ways to get out of a relationship.

Like you, I went through it a lot when I was dating. I got fed up and depressed about it, too. The problem with that is that then you seem to give off vibes that attract the wrong type of people who feed on the insecurity and that leads to just more rejections.

Relax. Enjoy yourself, and if need be take a break from dating for a while and just be yourself! You'll find the right person in the end.

[andy]

Yeah, you're cute! Play hard to get and they'll come chasing after you instead!

Hang in there for Mr. Right! He'll come along eventually... probably when you're least expecting it!

xox

[marshlander]

Agree with all of the above. Good luck!

[closet coffee guy]

Yeah, don't worry about those past relationships. If they weren't going to work out then it's a good thing they came to an end. Keep in mind that just because someone says "you're not my type" doesn't at all mean that you're unattractive. Physical attraction and emotional attraction are totally different things and if the emotions aren't there than it's not even worth wasting your time. Life is too short to try forcing things that don't work. Keep your head up and stay confident, be who you are and people will take notice. best wishes!

[sox-and-the-city]

Perhaps you should look at it differently. Of course the only thing everyone who's been with you has in common is you, that's life. This isn't the Jeremy Kyle show, and there are no heifers or heroin in sight.

You need to be more confident about how you look, or fake it, like i do. You're really quite attractive, so start looking to act like it, not like, bigheaded or anything, but try to be more secure and confident and good things will happen. Or in my most recent case turn out to have a girlfriend and still flirt with you anyway....

[skywriter]

Hang in there. We all experience what you are going through. You might have to kiss a 100 frogs before you find your prince. I still haven't found my prince although I think i may have finally met him.

[albabonzai]

indeed, i tried and tried and then i finnaly gave up looking and decided it was time to just enjoy life, and now i have the most amaizing guy. SWINGS AND ROUNDABOUTS as my mate says, its just a matter of time before summit good comes around and if it doesnt this time, hey its gotta next time.

[kitschcamp]

Same here, once I'd got so cheesed off that I gave up and was determined not to find someone, that's when I did.

Desparate people give off bad vibes. It scares off the good 'uns and attracts the bad 'uns.

[spirito_gab]

yeah i agree with close coffee guy. its hard when u have your "type" of ppl u're after and in those types of people, they have their own "type" so finding one that will match is not an easy feat but when u do found it, it would be worth it!