Stereotype?

[libertylove4]

Okay so I have a question to pose to all of you. Recently I read an interview that a Dutch newspaper did with the flamboyant British singer Mika, when asked about his sexuality he stated, "I've never ever labeled myself. But having said that; I've never limited my life, I've never limited who I sleep with... Call me whatever you want. Call me bisexual, if you need a term for me. You should be as free as you want." Now I sincerely do not understand this being afraid of labels thing. I am very proud of my label, I am a gay man, that just who I am. I've never felt like I label myself or restrict myself by saying that. This also brings up another topic, gay or bi men and women who are afraid of "acting the stereotype." I will admit that I am rather "campy" but that is just who I am. Sure I toned it down majorly when I was in the closet, but now that I'm out I feel no reason to do so. Ok so for those of you who made it this far without dying of boredom lol, my question is how do you feel about Mika's comment? Do the labels exist outside of our own minds, and if so are they really that bad? Secondly, how do you all feel about the "stereotype"?

Thanks all, just something that's been on my mind

[Rychard the Lionheart]

I am a person not a label, we are all different. It seems Man need to label or catologue everything around them, are we so insecure of ourselves.

[libertylove4]

What I have found also is that some people react badly to what they perceive as a label or stereotype. The other day another gay guy called me a stereotype because I act rather flamboyant, like musicals and my divas. I acted this was before I even knew what the stereotype was. I guess my issue is that some guys hate it because they are, deep down, afraid of looking gay in regular society. I don't know, I could very well be wrong. This is just what I have experienced in my little backwoods town.

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Do most people see being camp or girlish as a stereotype for being gay, yes they do. Until gay people enjoy total equality with straight people, this will be with us for a long time. Just be yourself and don't wear any labels, let them worry about it.

[marshlander]

I am a person not a label, we are all different. It seems Man need to label or catologue everything around them, are we so insecure of ourselves.

I agree that we are all different and individual, but the need to categorise and compare goes far beyond a superficial insecurity. It is at the root of how we have learned to make sense of the world as we have grown up. Parts of our brain sort things into large groups while other parts deal with subsets. If we were not able to do this I doubt we would have developed language and without language we would not have society and our associations would indeed be very different. Can you imagine every human interaction being on the level of a street brawl or a sauna encounter?

For me, being gay is part of who I am. For some people it may be the only way they perceive me, while others may see me in any one or combination ways of how I look to them and the roles in which we interact. I am happy to consider myself "gay". It helps me make sense of my feelings.

[marshlander]

Do most people see being camp or girlish as a stereotype for being gay, yes they do. Until gay people enjoy total equality with straight people, this will be with us for a long time. Just be yourself and don't wear any labels, let them worry about it.

I notice, Rychard, that you label yourself a single curious man (and, yes, I realise that is partly the demand of this site that we wear a label). If you are not a member of a minority it is easier to ignore labels ... just don't imagine they are not there at some level.

[libertylove4]

I guess labels are a 'to each their own' subject. If I'm labeled as "gay" I really don't care because I've become comfortable with it, but I can see why others wouldn't be. One thing I don't like is how some gay people look down on bisexuals. I remember this lesbian friend of mine called them greedy and a gay male friend of mine called them bi now gay later and said that bi guys always cheat. I know of plenty of gay men who can't keep it in their pants so I think that was pot calling the kettle black moment. As long as there isn't cheating I think it's all good. I really think that the movement doesn't need dissenters within the acronym. People are bi just like people are gay or straight, people come in every shade and color of the rainbow.

Sorry if that got a little soapboxy lol

[marshlander]

No need to apologise

[Rychard the Lionheart]

I notice, Rychard, that you label yourself a single curious man (and, yes, I realise that is partly the demand of this site that we wear a label). If you are not a member of a minority it is easier to ignore labels ... just don't imagine they are not there at some level.

There is always labels, sub labels and sub sub labels, I just don't like wearing them. I am who I am, that is me. (sounds like another few lines is coming.)

[marshlander]