You say you were a bit naïve when you first came out and you have not met Mr. Right yet. But wait a minute, you are still 18. At 18 I was very definitely bisexual, now I am gay. I have 2 heterosexual sons and I know that at 18 they were not thinking of getting married and were not at all concerned that they had not yet found the great love of their lives. So why are you in such a hurry? I also know that my sons were having sex with girls at that age, which I would think is normal. At 18 you are at your physical best. It's all downhill from here, I'm afraid. But you don't have the experience to choose a life partner at that age. You need experience of every sort, short-term relationships, friendships, sex, managing money, combining work and a leisure life – everything – before you are ready for a proper relationship. You say you fooled around with guys and then regretted it. Well, we learn by making mistakes and we keep making mistakes until we get it right. That too is a normal part of life. Why should you regret that? My first thought when I read your post was that you were one of these religious Americans who want to be a virgin when they marry. Then I saw that you call yourself AtheistHamasexual, so I guess I was wrong on that score. I am very pleased to say that my sons were not virgins when they made a commitment to their partners and their partners were not virgins either. Entering a long-term relationship as a virgin is a recipe for disaster. You need to make your mistakes before you get hitched. There is something far worse than getting used in this life and that is never getting used. You are obviously an attractive young man. I hope that “getting used” does not mean “getting raped” in your case. Maybe you need to be a bit more assertive when things start to get sexual, maybe a lot more assertive. But I do hope that you will be able to enjoy sex without worrying about whether you are getting “used” or not. Some people are happy to have sex without any thought of commitment. That's fine. If I read you correctly, that is not for you. That's fine too. There is also a third option and that is sex without commitment now and sex with commitment later. That seems a better option to me at your age but if it's not what you want, tell them so and keep telling them until they realize you're serious. I am sure you will sort this out in your own way soon and I am also sure that your Mr Right will turn up one day.
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Just a few thoughts of my own..
AtheistHamasexual Wrote:I would think well if I don't fool around with them then there is no chance they would ever give me a chance.
One, of many, nice things about nice guys is that is not true about them.
peterinmalaga Wrote:Entering a long-term relationship as a virgin is a recipe for disaster.
I managed to get away with it, but I would agree that in general it is not to be recommended.
I would also like to point out that there is something in between a committed long-term relationship and a commitment-free casual one. You can be committed, monogamous, etc. with a guy in the short-term, but leaving the longer-term future open, depending on how lift goes.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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hello atheist
give it time and u find the right person and u will be happy with this person for the rest of your life and not ever have to worry about feeling used
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) I knew I had to do something so I decided that until I matured I shouldn't seek a relationship of any kind. So I was celabit up until august of this year but I still haven't gotten back to trying to date cause I really don't know how to start and although I have matured a great deal I am still a little scared that I will just get hurt again. I know that there is pain no matter what but I don't want that to be all there is.
