So... the hardest thing i find that we face is coming out to our parents...
That's what i think anyway.
I mean, it's just so hard to tell them. You won't know what they think.
Once you tell them, you'll feel like damn awkward.
Plus you're living in the same roof with them.
So you have to face them no matter what the verdict is.
I'm quite scared bout it. My lesbian friend hasn't come out to her parents yet.
And my friend(straight), the one which i told about me being gay, told me not to tell since she(the lesbian friend) has not told her parents...
But i don't think i should hide it from them.
I almost always share things with my mom.
So i was just wondering what is the best way to come out to her?
When? How? Where?
I dunno whether i should tell them both together or alone.
But i suspect they MIGHT already know though it's hard to tell with parents.
I am freaking out (not really):eek:
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
If you suspect they might already know and it sounds like you have a pretty good relationship with them, I'd tell them.
I was 21 when I told my parents. Yes it was awkward but their sperm and eggs are what made me so if they have a problem with it then they just have to remember that they created me!
My mom told me she already knew. My dad didn't talk to me for a week and told me to get away from him but he finally got over it. What else are they going to do at that point in my life?
I don't want to say yes go and tell them and everything will be okay because I don't know them or anything but if you feel safe doing it, then go for it. If you feel they might negatively react, I'd wait till you have moved out?
But then why hide who you really are?
•
I'm probably not the best person to ask.
First, you should try and bring the issue, as subtly as possible, up to your mother and test the waters to see where she stands on homosexuality in general. If you get a positive reaction then go for it. If not, then back up and come up with a new strategy.
I on the other hand chose not to come out to my parents as bisexual. My reasons are varied and I hope understandable...
1) Not to father because he is 'opposed' to anything besides heterosexuality. However, I think he's a good enough of a father and a person that he would change to support me over time.
2) My mother, being a liberal in every aspect of the word (my parents are divorced btw...hardcore republican father and democrat mother...not the reason they split but it makes things easier for me politically) would have no problem accepting and supporting it. However, throughout my life, she has been a part of everything. I want independence of some sort, and she usually has to know everything about my life. To me, not coming out to her is empowering...it gives me a wierd, twisted sense of independence.
3) Being interested in both sexes, I feel no reason to give myself a label...should I find someone with whom I see myself with for the rest of my life that is a male, then I will come out to both of them. If not, then I will not worry about it. However...if I were gay, then I would have come out as soon as I got to college.
4) I'm an incredibly private person, even though I'm an extrovert. I do not share certain aspects of my personal life with people, save my closest friends. So really nobody knows what I am. It is kind of fun to see them squeam trying to figure me out.
Sorry for the long response, and I hope it doesnt offend anyone...I know I am a strange person lol.
•
well the way i came out to my mother. (the last person to know)
Me: Mum... I'm gay
Mum: I know.
Me: What how?
Mum: I just always knew. If one of my kid were to be gay it would be you. Because you have always been gentler than the others. (the 'others' being my 3 other brothers)
and thats how it happened for me
•
Well... thanks. But i am not really sure bout whether they know or not.
It's hard to tell.
I tried to tell my mom today. But my bro came and foiled the plan for me.
So i had to postpone me telling her.
Initially i was thinking of waiting bout another 2 more years.
I'm going to UK to study for my third year of my degree.
So if i tell them then... i won't have to actually face them if they don't accept it.
But i just dunno how to break the news to them.
I get damn nervous when i try to work up to it.
I would change the subject before i even touch the topic.
•
There is a perception in some parts of the world that other parts are pretty decadent. Are your parents likely to think it their fault that they allowed you to go come to the UK where we "converted" you?
The French used to call homosexuality, "le mal anglais" (the English disease")!
•
it is hard about telling your mum you gay . incase them was cross. i hope it is ok
•
You seem unsure and nervous about this. I would wait till you feel more comfortable about it. You are at present living in a country which is not very supportive of gays, I believe. I would not advise you to make life more difficult for yourself. Another consideration: will you be financially dependent on your parents when you're in the UK studying? If they react badly, they could pull the plug out on your dreams. Good luck.
•
I don't think they might do something so drastic as stopping my education...
But... it's difficult to say.
I can't really tell what they would do or react.
But i guess you're right. I'll wait til the right moment and tell them.
When i feel more at ease.
But it won't really affect me that much even if i told them now cause the law in Malaysia applies to homosexual Muslims.
I'm Chinese.. so it's a plus (not to be racist or anything)
P.S: I'm a pessimist. That's y it's kinda hard for me to come out to them.
•
I'm glad to hear that your own family and cultural traditions cause you fewer problems than many of your fellow citizens. We have had Chinese people on here before who have been under enormous pressure not to shame their parents by coming out as gay. One was in the UK to train to be a doctor and his mother was coming to join him here! By that time he had a partner and had to face up to all that meant. I wonder how he is ...
•
