Came out

[drocko17]

That’s it, I came out to my parents last tuesday, July 31st.

Let me explain you everything. Just before dinner, mum softly asked me (again) how everything was going on with girls. That’s the kind of situation I was waiting for, in which she starts asking me about my personal life, you know. Just at that moment, phone rings: One of mum’s friends, a parrot, they were nearly 15 minutes chatting… While I was having dinner, and thinking, making up my mind… That was the moment.
-“Mum, is there anything of my personality you still feel doubtful about? Is there any piece that still doesn’t fit in the puzzle?”
-“No…”
-“What would you say if I told you I was homosexual?”
And then came the wet conversation, late that night she told my dad, the following day I had a conversation with him. Both of them, separately, reacted similarly: They couldn’t dare to believe the strength of my feelings, they both said that, without having any ‘experience’ neither with boys nor with girls, I just couldn’t be so sure that I was gay and that was part of my identity. I tried to explain to them what I felt and what I’d been feeling since I was first sexually attracted to guys, and how, later, I knew myself that I could also be in love with a guy and I was perfectly ready to start a relationship, plus all the things I’ve already told to you (that of the social problems, the lack of confidence, you know). They told me that my way of thinking was wrong, or not particularly the best; way of thinking I mean by making all the conclusions by myself, “I Think and then I exist” Descartes said; they said the thing had to be the opposite. I told them that, being so insecure of my way of life; I could never have been able to have a strong relationship with anyone, and minus telling to them all the things that were happening to me, I was very scared and felt guilty. Felt very sad yesterday cos they made me feel confused again…
Two days passed and anything interesting happened after their ‘duel’ day: my mum seems interested about gaylife, he’s going with me to the psychologist next Monday, just to chat a bit and make her feel more confident with my feelings, although she told me she’s been thinking and she finally could see the best of this ‘bad thing’, she feels more in touch with my emotions. Also my dad. Chatting with me made him feel a bit relaxed, he told me he was quite happy that I had had courage to express what I felt… he told me that it would be very difficult, almost impossible, for him to watch me with other guy (hope he gets softer with time, I know he will), but he was very happy with me cos I was being truthful with myself.
I was surprised cause they didn’t ‘suspect’ anything, I couldn’t avoid shocking them… sorry spoty your advice of the hints was interesting but I couldn’t…

Thanks for everyting guys u were great help! Hope everything goes well from now on… I’m still beginning, the day’s beginning.

[ashleo78]

Im sorry but why are you seeing a psychologist ? Being gay doesn't mean your wrong in the head im afraid.

Is that your decision to see one or your parents MAKING you see one ?

[drocko17]

nono sorry i didn't explain well that of the psycologist.

i'm not visiting it on order to be heterosexual, that would definitely the last thing i would do alive. I'm visiting cause my mum feels she needs a professional to understand my way of being/thinking better as they both weren't convinced at 100% with the things i explained to them, it was a shock. SHE needs it, its her therapy, i'm going to explain all thet i feel and to be guided a bit... understand? mile: I'm going WITH her

[drocko17]

and remember that visiting a psycologist doesn't exactly mean your wrong in the head... that's a prejudice

[spotysocks]

you did it! That was quick hehe. I am very happy for you Drocko!:biggrin: You have your plans and you follow them. Seems like you are determined and focused to build your life in solid ground.

Your parents took it quite well actually, bless them! I understand why they might be a bit worried. No matter how mature you are acting you still their teenage son. I believe it will be ok with you dad like you say, it is early days. A visit to a psychologist would do good to all three of you i think. It will help them and you to have an understanding on the new situation. I kind of know what the psychologist will say to get an idea if you want have a look here. It's the more 'light' site i found on homosexuality from modern Psychology's view: http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-...00031.html .


Let me know how things go!

[drocko17]

Thanks! i'l keep u informed

[feelmychampagne]

wow congrats!

[stackmonkey]

If it helps, a young friend of mine came out to his parents who are rather more homophobic than yours appear to be; the marched him off to his GP to get him 'cured' ( I kid you not). GP spent an hour talking to the parents, 10 mins talking to him, and then sent parents off with a flea in their ear, so to speak!.

[cmonster367]

whats the deal with moms sending us to shrinks? mine did the same thing.

[drocko17]

I introduced you all to my mother yesterday! She seemed kinda glad i had asked for advice here (particularly because of the way i did it). everything's on the right track, apparently, the psyco will phonecall her today and arrange the meeting for someday in this week.
Mother's starting to get curious of homosexuality life, i also talk to her more in detail about my social life and life expectations, for she (and dad also) to understand how firmly standing i was over my sexual condition. Dad's behaving as usual, as if nothing was happening, his attitude to me is the same as always... I tried to find a situation in wiich i could share some time with him... He's teaching me how to drive the car! (17 is the age in which you can get your driving lisence here).