I've noted that one of the things about me is that I tend to be aggressive by nature, but my aggressive nature is blunted by what people expect of me. This results in me being pent up and not willing to express myself to people. I Have wondered if otheres have had this problem, and what they did to help?
Richard
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I get like that too but when it starts too build up a bit i go tell my friends and let it all out they don't mind listening. Maybe you should try this too
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I'm a total passive slut boy with boys or girls I have no desire to take control or assert myself. It seems to me that assertive/aggressivness is the default for men and is expected.
We are supposed to confidently hunt for women and any shy passive behaviour is frowned apon. I see sexy women and want them to come up to me and drag me from my chair by my hair and say "kiss my legs boy" but instead they flutter their eyes and expect me to approach them and do some fucking,
I know how you feel having to change your behaviour for others but in my experience aggressivness combined with confidence is celebrated in a man and you shouldn't need to hide it
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I wonder, Richard (a bit like Frankie Pie here) what sort of aggressiveness you are referring to? You are not letting on about who you really are but is that not because in the Army you are expected to follow orders and obey them rather than take initiative? There are things in the army that you can't do, obviously, lest you should then be punished or punishable for them. Are you saying that in real life you are being more passive than you'd like to be? In what particular spheres would you gain in being more your true self?
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Is your aggressiveness a problem? What do you do to counter it? I can sometimes be assertive to the point where it borders on aggressiveness. I don't go for the jugular more for the eardrums. The butt of my anger is nearly always bureaucracy and the bureaucracy in Spain is as bad as it gets in Europe, so they give me plenty of scope. I don't feel too bad about it, because I really think they deserve it. As an example I spent 2 whole days involved in the bureaucratic farce that you get involved in if you want to give your car to a friend or relative here - 2 whole days!
Part of the problem is that the Spanish NEVER complain: that's what comes of living under a dictatorship for all those years. Actually the English aren't the world's most assertive people, some are but not most. The English also generally complain to the wrong person.
I think that you can learn to control anger etc. but my problem is that I don't want to!
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Well, maybe, Sox, but then they complain to the wrong people, like the English do. If your boss gives you a hard time, you should complain to your boss, not to your co-workers.
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And there, my friend, you have hit the nail on the head. You should heard the nationalist protest a coupla days ago. The police were out in force with rifles and everything. Scary stuff.
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