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Surely the bitching behind their back is a good reason not to talk to us, it leaves them vulnerable.
But you are right.
Fred
Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.
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My best female friend is exactly like that. She can't stand women and the way they act and behave. She needs the frankness of men, at least she knows how to deal with them when they 'misbehave'. lol...
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Hmmm.... I see when I was trying to write a reply, there was an interesting answer (and follow up discussion)... I should learn to think and write quicker.
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It seems to me that most people adopt otherwise 'abusive' terms for their own use in an attempt to defeat the purpose of it's use as offensive. It seems this only works superficially, however, as those who adopt the term are seemingly comfortable using it within their own 'group', but if anyone outside uses it, the term remains offensive.
Such examples are with the term n*****. Blacks will use it in everything from general conversation to musical lyrics, but if a white uses it, it is deemed inappropriate and remains offensive.
I think it just comes down to... the term remains offensive, regardless, but it's impact can be negated when it is used by those within the group.
But then, language does have a way of changing. I mean, 'gay' once simply meant 'happy', and 'fagot' was a bundle of wood.
Despite everything 'mom' taught us, words do hurt, and often worse than 'sticks and stones'.
You get beat up, you get over it. You get verbally abused, that tends to stick with you.
Kudos to anyone who finds a way to take the sting out of insults and ignore verbal injustices. Just be sure that in adopting the terms, you're not keeping yourself in a perpetual mindset of abuse.
Sometimes, we adopt a view others have of us, thinking to disarm those who insult, and instead we end up living trapped in the cage we built instead of finding freedom through accepting who we really are, rather than what others wish to label us with.
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Interesting, AgentWashington, and yes I can agree with much of what you say. Now I'm trying to think of terms that I might consider describe me that weren't imposed from the outside. The only one I can think of is "gay". This works in reverse. We claimed the name as a celebration and it has more recently become a term of abuse.
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it is bad saying bad name a bout peple.like gay peple and blackpeple i criyed if somone even called me a bad name.
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