Dont know what to do - help please :D

[scotyboy]

I recently met a guy through another gay mate. Hes really cool and i really like him, i went to his place a few weeks ago and within half an hour we slept together. I have been meeting him once sometimes twice a week since and each time we have slept together.

I really like this guy and i get a feeling he likes me back. It seems like its more than just sex, theres a lot of passionate kissing and hugging before and after sex and we talk a lot about what we have been upto that day/week etc. Which is another reason why i have a feeling he likes me to, i know he wants a relationship and thats what he is looking for - just like me. I promised myself to not get to emotionally involved with him before i met him but i feel like i am and im afraid of being hurt again, i really could do with someones advice as im sure there are other guys/girls out there that have been through the same. I talk to other gay people on the internet and have cam shows etc (im not a slut honest) but recently i feel really bad, like im cheating on him - whats wrong with me??

I never really felt this way towards my ex boyfriend, although that did not last long as it got quite messy, is this possibly a reason why im feeling the way i am now? Like problems with past relationships coming back to haunt me etc? I dont know, just really confused and dont know what to do!

Any help would be appreciated guys

Thanks in advance

[curt-88]

If you feel that you can be faithful to this guy dont be scared to take the risk.

[marshlander]

If you feel like you're being unfaithful stop doing what makes you feel like that. If you don't want to stop doing it talk to your boy and see what you come up with.

Being afraid of taking risks seems to be on the increase. Some risks are worth it.

[princealbertofb]

First of all Scotyboy you are only 18 if I am to believe your profile details and that is an age when things aren't generally quite definite for anyone. I don't know if you can use past experience as a reason for the way you behave. What seems evident to me is that the two of you have something in common that you enjoy sharing, maybe it is love. The promise you made to yourself NOT to fall in love with (or get too involved with) this new friend doesn't have to be kept. Why did you promise this to yourself in the first place anyway?
In fact the worry that you have stems more from the fact that you promised this to yourself and you are now wondering if you cheating on yourself rather than on him. He doesn't know what promise you've made to yourself and until you've told him, there's no way he can know what predicament you are going through.
I would just question the reasons why you said to yourself that you wouldn't get too involved, to start with, then reassess the situation keeping in consideration where you would now like to go with your life. Can you manage a steady boyfriend in your life, right now? Is it too much hassle? Are you afraid of HIM cheating on you?
The other question would be, why do you need to do webcam still? Are you still on the lookout for something better (what you already have seems to fulfil your needs in more ways than one, however). Question what it is you want from a relationship and since your affair with this person seems to be quite honest and frank, the thing to do is to voice your fears, expectations, hopes (but be realistic and remember that a leopard can't change its spots), also voice how you intend to / think you'll behave in your relationship with him. If he understands what sort of person you are, it'll be so much easier for him to make his own decisions too and then maybe to commit or not commit.
How does he make you feel? Can you tell him that?
I think that, since you are only young, but also when we grow older, we can never be too sure of where we stand at the beginning of a relationship. The sex is good, ok, but it can also be just functional (you know, the fuck buddy sort of thing) but it isn't necessarily a romance. What I think you are wondering now is if this isn't turning into an unexpected romance.
At the point you've reached now, I feel that you have already been too much involved for it NOT to get messy if you suddenly stop seeing him. I don't think he'd understand. If you think you need to cool it a bit, then tell him so, but try to give him an explanation of why. I'm sure if he's compassionate, he'll understand your reluctance. Maybe he has a similar story himself.
How old is that person? Is there a big age difference?

[scotyboy]

Im 19 in a few days as it goes so my profile information is correct!

The reason i promised this to myself is because i am afraid of getting hurt again and letting someone in but at the same time i want to let someone in. I have been cheated on before and ever since that has affected the relationships i have had, nearly all of the time with myself getting to paranoid about things and ruining it, all of my ex's after the bitch that cheated on me never cheated on me or did cam shows and where totally faithful, it was just my stupid paranoia that has ruined things.

Having a boyfriend is not too much hassle for me and im willing to do a lot to make things work. I love the sex we have and the passionate kissing and hugging, as it makes me feel special and for once wanted. I am wanted by friends etc and thats a great feeling but this is a completely different feeling of being wanted. I want a realationship, someone i can happily call my own and be proud to say "thats my guy". Hes very caring and i feel safe and secure around him and i could commit yes.

I dont think im on the look out for something else as this guy has everything good about him that i could possibly want, hes the sort of guy i would go for and he has all the qualities that i like in a guy aswell. And indeed i do feel that what i have already with him fulfils part of what i need. I'd just like the securtiy of a relationship.

I would not just stop seeing him, i dont want to stop seeing him. Infact i want to see him more lol! And agreed there i do not think he would understand, then again who would if you just suddenly stopped seeing someone? And there is only a 4 year age difference which is not the biggest of age differences and if im honest age to me is not a problem!

Thanks for all your help guys, it really is appreciated

[peterinmalaga]

I would advise that you take this one day at a time and enjoy it. If you fall for him big time, so be it. If you eventually break up, of course it will hurt – it always does. But that is no reason not to fall in love. T'is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!


Le coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait pas. Pascal.