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03-29-2010, 11:34 PM

I've noticed the phrase "... that happens to be gay" to be tacked on a the end of personal descriptions on gay dating sites. Since I've only dates one guy "... that happens to be gay" (and he turned out to be an arsehole) I don't want to have that colour my view on what that particular expression means.

Could someone enlighten me because it seems to be used euphemistically?

03-29-2010, 11:47 PM

Well when something HAPpens it means that it's a bit random...
HAP is 'randomness' which, if it is good HAP, makes you HAPPY, and if it's bad, makes you UNHAPPY (that's when there is a MisHAP= a negative occurence of HAPpenstance = an accident). HAP also occurs in PerHAPs showing that it's something that might or might not occur. What I think people mean in this instance is that it's just one of those random things that happen to people: being gay... not something that they planned on being, or worked at to be. Maybe they view this as being UnHAPpy circumstances, or maybe HAPpy circumstances, or maybe just a random thing in life.
That's my take. Confused

mile:

03-30-2010, 02:32 AM

Basically people who put that are so insistent that it doesn't define them as a person they use it to define themselves as a person, making them appear arrogant and one-dimensional Wink

03-31-2010, 12:23 AM

sox-and-the-city Wrote:Basically people who put that are so insistent that it doesn't define them as a person they use it to define themselves as a person, making them appear arrogant and one-dimensional

Okay... Sounds like the guy that I went on a couple of dates with. He also described himself as a "homophobic homosexual". :frown:

03-31-2010, 03:14 AM

colinmackay Wrote:Okay... Sounds like the guy that I went on a couple of dates with. He also described himself as a "homophobic homosexual". :frown:

Thats very sad Saeek

03-31-2010, 05:45 AM

i think that happens when your afraid what other guys might think of you so u become homophobic not wanting to be with gay guys but you still like guys but yea....

03-31-2010, 12:33 PM

Something like that, Moo, you're probably right... Well observed for someone so young...

03-31-2010, 06:19 PM

Moo Freeman Wrote:i think that happens when your afraid what other guys might think of you so u become homophobic not wanting to be with gay guys but you still like guys but yea....

Yup... He became quite obsessive when he discovered that I work with someone he knows but is not out to. He became quite agitated by the thought that I might out him. (Incidentally, that is something I'd never do)

Personally, I think that if I had a friend that didn't accept I was gay they wouldn't be a friend for much longer. As I was coming out I actually contemplated before each conversation that this may be the last conversation I might have with this person. I was so relieved that it never came to pass.