Lonely, Depression,....Suicide.

[Geminight]

I'm making this site mainly because I feel really lonely and I've felt this way for about three years now since my last boyfriend broke up with me at 16. The second reason is this could help so other lonely people out there not to feel so low or find a few answers (if there are replies).
But for a long time now I felt really lonely and it's like there's a pain inside that keeps growing a little more every time I think about it. So of course I try not to think about it but I live in the south and there's not much to do but fish, fuck, and fight and there's not too much of that so I end up thinking about how alone I am alot. I mean, I moved on from the break up but I have so much stress from other things and I really could use someone beside me but there's no one there. And here in the south it is very different for gay people and in my opinion harder in alot of ways and there's only so much I can take.
I've tried many things to convince myself that it's not that bad but I the good feelings never last for long and I'm stuck with this other feeling that I'm just gonna end up dying alone. And it makes me feel like utter shit. My dreams I'd rather not talk about but I do plan on writing more on this as soon as I can straighten my thoughts and give good explanations and all that good stuff but i would like replies if anyone is willing and can understand my psycho babble
signed the guy on his last leg.

[Kiid]

Harro. I know how you fell. I once too felt the same way. But I got over it. Maybe cos I just couldn't care less about what people think about me. And if you do find it hard I always like to listen.

[peterinmalaga]

This is so hard for you and I really hope you find a way forward soon. Many of us here have been there in one way or another but having so few options certainly makes things a hell of a lot worse. What helped me was getting involved in running. All you have to do is go out the door and run. I got pretty good at it and did a few marathons - well 2 actually, cos I injured my knee on the 2nd one. Half marathons are much safer. I also love walking and take my dogs out whenever I can. There are mountains all around where I live and in winter we walk along the beach. The dogs give me so much love and are so grateful for me taking them out, that it makes me enjoy it all the more. I would suggest that you find a physical activity that you enjoy (I don't mean sex but that's OK too) and really get into it in a serious way. Don't overdo it. Build up gradually. The sport makes you feel good, makes you look good and builds up stamina. Good luck.

[Geminight]

Thanks for the replies n i will try to find something that interest me i could stand to lose a few pounds. just not running cause i smoke n yeah...

[Wintereis]

That is good. There are a lot of things in life we cannot control, so the best advice is to focus on those things you can control. Exercise, for instance, does help. It gives endorphins, and it gives one a sense of accomplishment. Both of these are great for mental health. I would also arrange it so that you are seeing a therapist on a regular basis. Suicidal ideations are nothing to mess around with. (And yes, many in the gay community, including myself, have struggled with depression and loneliness) They may also have some medication that would work well for you. Exercise, a person to talk to, and making sure that your brain chemistry isn’t out of whack: those things are major in managing your depression and helping to make sure that you can deal with life and reach your goals; move to a more accepting place, and get to a point in your life where a boy friend is not someone you are dependent on but a person you are a partner with.

Best of luck friend.

[eastofeden]

You have some good advice already...I do have a few things to add and hopefully you can take something you can use. First...have you considered moving? It is something to think about....

Try this little trick...take everything that is negative in your mind and force yourself...challenge yourself...to take each of those things and see the positive side to it and there always is a positive side. You can be creative...silly...serious...just be engaged in taking the time to do it for yourself. For instance...you mentioned you were lonely...turning that into a positive you can look at it as a chance to learn to love yourself and get to know who you are...

You won't always be lonely but I can tell you one thing...the loneliest time I ever had in my life was when I was with someone else so don't think finding someone else is the answer to loneliness...finding yourself is actually the only answer.

One more thing...always remember whatever pain you are experiencing WILL PASS...It ALWAYS DOES! Practice telling yourself that and when you are in a great mood take a moment to remind yourself that you were right...it did pass.

[fjp999]

[COLOR="Purple"]Great advice from all above.

To add to the "positive" attitude - try to find something to laugh about it all... even if it is really horrible there has to be a funny side to it... maybe absurdity... That always helps me get thru the horrors that life can sometimes bring.

And as above, find something to keep you busy. Keep your mind and body busy. Maybe a volunteer position. This may also bring you to the realization that there is always someone worse off than yourself.

Best of luck in it all.[/COLOR]

[fredv3b]

Wintereis gives very good advice. Many gay guys (as well as plenty of straight ones too) have struggled or are struggling with depression (including myself) so you are not alone. Just remember you have the whole of the rest of your life to look forward to (or at least try to remember that).

[triforceguy]

well i know what you're going through is alot worse but when im upset i listen to to alot of different music, calms me down.

[Geminight]

i like to listen to different musics to that describe how i feel a little better than i can. it does calm me down n hell me think things through.