I like white guys

[Aaycle]

Yes, my friend, I truly believe you have a problem. You seem to have severe race discrimination, and an insecurity problem. And I am aware you are black. These things happen.

You identify with White, people. You love their attitudes toward life ( work, success, education, money, appearances), and appreciate them more than your own race. But you were conditioned to this opinion. There are so many negative opinions and stereotypes about the Black man, that you cannot go anywhere in the world, without at least hearing one of them. Well, these stereoptypes have caused you to become judgmental of Black people, and yourself. So, you hold yourself up to a higher standard (and you think Whites are a higher standard) in your relationships, and, in your job choice/s; you want a great education, excellent financial security; everything you think the Black lazy people do not want.

Who do you know that are biased towards Black people? These people/persons, are affecting your judgments of Black people, or you have already been worked on. Anyway, you are, or were surrounded by people who openly express their biases against Black men. And you have adopted this unfortunate attitude. Or it could boil down to the simple case of you not wanting to be stereotyped by White people, you date. Which is it?

I only beg of you one thing...date a black man, I am certain you can find a professional Black man, that has a goal, is already successful, very intelligent, has economically sound plans for his future, etc... I want you to give Black people a chance to change your perspective. If only to be fair, as far as wrong judgements go.

You know sometimes you hate something, and it turns out if was merely ignorance that had you hating this thing; then you try it, or watched it, and now you love it, and can't get enough of it. So Please, reconsider dating a Black man.

[Samsonic91]

It's the 21st century. The days of "stick to your own race" are gone. We are living in a multicultural, multisexual, multisocial society, and whatever one's preferences, then more power to them. You do NOT have a "problem" just because you prefer to date white men. For me, love is colorblind, and while I would look past a man's ethnicity (although there are certain qualities which accentuate other ethnicities lol), I believe that it is your right to follow your preferences regardless of what you are told. Don't be picky, but at the same time, follow your preferences and your heart.

[Wintereis]

I do not think that you have a "problem" as others have said or that you are "racist" against your own. You said that you would date a black guy if you found one that matched what you wanted in personality. I imagine you would have a better time finding such a guy outside the area you are living in now. There are many great, gay black guys out there. But, since your choices are limited by your location and your sexuality, you shouldn't feel bad at all about who you date. Also, in my opinion, skin color should be pretty close to the bottom of the list, no matter who you are, for what you should be looking for in a partner. It sounds like your mother wants race to be the first or second most important thing on that list. At this point in the U.S. that is a very unrealistic and outdated perspective.

[Antagonist]

Thanks for sharing this post. I live in Kentucky and get similar reactions from friends and family because I'm primarily attracted to black men, and because my last two serious relationships were with black men. And I've given serious consideration to some of the negative feedback I've recieved over the years, because there's no way that I want to fetishize a race of people or to make personal choices based on internalized racism, etc.

In the end, we are all attracted to who we are attracted to. I know women who are attracted to men who resemble thier fathers and gay men who only like masculine, hairy men with potbellies and tattoos. Yet, no one goes around questioning their choices or suggesting that they are internalizing incestuous tendencies or misogynistic attitudes. The point that I'm trying to make here is that my attraction to black men may, on some subconscious level, exist as a reaction to a social taboo or as a rebellious act of counter terrorism against my father, the preacher. Who cares, right? In the end, I mostly date black men because I find them to be more attractive. Does that mean that I hate the fact that I'm white or that I'm turned off by all white men? No.

The only concern that I have with your post is the fact that you displayed several negative remarks about black men in general i.e. that they didn't have jobs and were lazy and sagged their pants too much. You might want to think about why you harbor those ideas, but I wouldn't let it drive me nuts, either. You are who you are and you're attracted to who you're attracted to.

The Antagonist

[princealbertofb]

What it amounts to, in the end, is that you'd love your entourage and family to accept your choices and your boyfriend, whatever race he is... After all you fall in love with a person, not the whole race that the person is a member of, or else all white people would be like Hitler, no?

[marshlander]

Ooh! Now here's something controversial

Don't Ask, Just Tell: Sexual racism is at the core of what many gay men believe to be ''preferences'': Opinion section: Metro Weekly magazine, Washington, DC newspaper

[Sil]

I think maybe you've been made to feel it's an issue when really to most reasonable people it's not, but that is a hard situation to be coming out in

it's just preference, and most people have a degree of fluidity, so I wouldn't worry about it...There'll be guys out there thinking the exact opposite which should make for some fun times

[Jay]

I'm honestly surprised that skin color is still an issue. Not just in relationship but in a lot of other things too.

Doesn't "Death to Racism" seem kind of hypocrite when we also chant for "Stick to Your Own Race" at the same time?

When I see a person, I see that person. Not his/her skin color.

[colinmackay]

I know I'm coming to this debate a bit late in the day... But to my mind it should not matter one bit what the race is of the person you are attracted to.

I am attracted to men of many different races. I know many people talk about having a "type" but I'm not sure that I do. I just like who I like and I don't see why that should be any different to anyone else. I don't see why you should restrict yourself based on what someone else tells you unless they can rationally explain why. (And, restricting yourself on race defies a rational explanation as far as I can see)

[posterpicture]

I like white guy better than others too. I think most white guys are really hot. However, the man I love most is only half white and for bonus, I am not white, I am 100% Asian.