is he gay/bi?

[ribena]

Hi, I’m just after some advice on whether or not my close friend is gay/bi?

I’m now 24, he is now 21.

It all started in 2007 when we met each other through a few friends we both knew. I met him at a party – mainly just an introduction and hi and bye – I didn’t really think anything of it. But then he actively seeked out my msn and phone number, and we got talking online. I recall barely knowing him, and he told me he had just split with his gf of 9mths because he got bored... (As i get to know him better, I find out that he is a very secretive person, he doesn’t share/show his feelings... so why tell me, and only me he split with her when he barely knew me??) anyway we used to talk everyday without fail, there wouldn’t be a minute in the day where we wouldn’t know what each other was doing. Essentially we became close friends.
But do close friends do things like these?
-Become upset that I rarely spoke to him in person (he told me online)
-At his house, he wanted to style my hair (so i let him?)
-At his house, he decided to show me his clothes collection and proceeded to try them on (mainly jackets)
-When we were out with other friends, we were different towards each other, but when we were alone he made me feel special... He used to enjoy my company too.
-The way we made eye contact with each other
-His body language ...
-How he cared for me and how he confided in me
Anyway this is where it gets confusing, out partying one night, he meets a girl, and he gets talking to her, basically they like each other? But he still talks to me and treats me in the same way as before... (I wonder how he found the time to talk/chill with her?) By now, I do have feelings for this person so naturally I became jealous and insecure, many a time, at least five times I’d always get into deep serious convo with him online saying that something was playing on my mind, and I didn’t know how to tell him. The furthest I got was I told him that if he got with that girl I’d be really upset..
In the end, he doesn’t get with the girl... and things become normal again, until every now and then I always try and tell him my feelings but I just couldn’t ... in the end if he kinda got sick of it.. and we began drifting apart.
Having drifted apart, I still had feelings for him but didn’t see/talk to him anymore OR very rarely... a year after all this happened, we’re out on a night out with all our friends, and he gets stupidly drunk.. I however am completely sober. We’re outside the club, and he just wanted me next to him, no one else... (he would get aggressive with others when they approached). He then kept saying sorry to me, I kept asking what he meant, until he finally said one sentence.. he said that I told him that I loved him (which i never?) , and that he was sorry for what he did to me (us drifting apart) and that he just wanted things how they used to be between us....
Nothing came from that drunken conversation, as I didn’t want to get hurt so I left it.
Fast foward to present day, we’re finally getting a bit close again, we hang out with each other, only us two.. .and we still have the same amount of fun as we used to, but not on a level of making each other feel special?
Just the other day on the way home from being out chilling for a day, he said “so where we gonna go next time?” and then he quickly proceed to say.. “well... you know like in 2 months or whatever” .... I knew he stumbled..

I’m sorry that this is really long winded.. but to this day I still have feelings for this guy =( I’m gonna get myself really hurt in a few months probably! But, why did he say those things to me when he was drunk? He clearly knows my sexual orientation, and if he is straight, surely he wouldn’t wanna become close friends with me again? I mean back in 07 he used to make fun of me and call me podgy.. now in 2010 he still does, along with the odd grabbing of my nipple for a joke!

If anyone has any questions, lemme know!

[Gareth125]

Sounds like , he is attracted to you , but is waiting for you to make the first move . The only way to be sure is to pluck up the courage and ask him how he feels . Tell him you are attracted to him and remind him of what he said to you . It's now or never buddy , dont miss out on this opportunity for somthing to happen between you guys. He is obviously attracted to you , if he wasnt he most likely wouldn't put himself in a position where somthing could happen. The situation could be completely different if he didnt know you were gay . Good luck , it's such an exciting story and I really hope you mange to get your man .

[peterinmalaga]

The good news is that he clearly likes you. The bad news is that he may not be completely sure of his sexuality or may be in denial about it at this point. There is obviously a risk if you come clean with him and tell him how you feel but the gains are likely to outweigh the possible losses. He could drop you as a friend (not very likely) but telling him might give him the push he needs to come to terms with his sexuality. Is he gay or bi? Perhaps he couldn't answer this question at the moment. Of course there is a possibility too that he is gay or bi and could only ever see you as a friend, because his attraction to you is not sexual.
I would take the risk and tell him what your feelings for him are. Otherwise you might miss out on something really good and important for you. You don't want to regret not telling him for the rest of your life, do you?