Was the waiter flirting with me?

[Falaskan]

I cannot tell and I could use some advice, because I don't want to be played. Here is what went down in a nutshell:

I went to a new restaurant down the street from where I work with my supervisor. The waiter was around my age and attractive but I didn't think much of it at first. However the waiter was very friendly with me, I'd say more so then with my supervisor. After checking my ID for an alcoholic drink he made sure to tell me he has no reason to doubt me, and then started using my first name whenever he'd talk with me. At first I didn't really respond much, thinking it was a little personal but later on he pointed out my name on my keychain and said he had the same first name. I was getting the hint, I think. I said something like, yeah, the downside is we're always the first to get pockets and drunk calls, etc. and we both laughed.

It was my first time there and I mentioned that in passing when I sat down, so I ordered exactly what he suggested to me at the time, which made him smile. Once in a while I began to check him out as he walked by, I can't be positive, but I think he noticed, once I think he smiled about it to himself.

As we were done, he began to tell me that "if I enjoyed what I had, I should come back for more." I finished his sentence and agreed that I would. My supervisor paid and left the tip. Since it was my belated birthday lunch, the tip wasn't that great but not that bad. You'd think if he had been fishing for tips it might disappoint him. But on the way out the door he made sure to call out to me (and me alone) by name and said he hoped I'd be back.

So with all of that said, do you think he was flirting with me or just fishing for tips? Maybe he knew I was attracted to him, and played me like a violin. Maybe he was truly attracted, what do you think? All i can say is I have never had such friendly service as that before. I will probably go back, how long should i wait to go?

[princealbertofb]

Is the restaurant expensive? If so, maybe you need to wait till you can afford it? If not, why not the next day, if you enjoyed the food... Maybe this time, don't take your supervisor, and see if you get the same service from [same first name]. I'd say he was flirting with you. I've had that treatment from some waiters too. But it doesn't mean that he's interested in you as anything else, maybe just the way he is with people he feels comfortable with or akin to. Are you close to your supervisor? Would s/he have noticed the flirtatiousness too? Is it something you can talk about with her / him? Even the first name calling, you could ask your supervisor if s/he thought that was normal behaviour or if they found it a little strange too. You could be curious about customer service in that way.

[libertylove4]

It could be that what you took as flirting was just friendly customer service. A friend of mine who is a waiter said that he flirts with all his customers and treats them rather warmly just as a part of good service, but he has also gone on a lot of dates with customers and says that most waiters/waitresses are down with being asked out as long as your nice about it. So I say give it a shot, what do you have to lose?

[timtravolta]

i think it can be tricky. go back the first time you get the chance, alone, and see how he treats you. it will also be helpful to observe how he deals with other customers so that you can find out if how he treats you is especial. but for what it's worth, i say just enjoy the attention and flirt back if you want. it is too early to put color into it and will just cause you to stress so just chill and enjoy it. you will clearly see the intimacy if it is really there. but the best thing to do is just go along with it and have fun for now!

[TAB]

In China, we won't be that open and obvious. we will hide our feeling.
me too..
wish you luck!

[peterinmalaga]

I cant see what you can lose by taking this one stage further. Ask him when he finishes work and if he'd like to go for a drink one night after work. Sometimes being cheeky gets results. If he turns you down, so what? Just smile and say "OK".

[joseph]

i work in a caffy i like it if hansom men come to tthe cafy.and i ifi giving the food! lovly

[SlipknotRlZZ]

Well, I think he was definitely flirting. However, I agree that you should go back there asap and if he's happy to see you, happy to give you the same treatment, I think you ought to do something about it. Like..well, you know, you have ur ways.
Hope I've been helpful. :]

[matty7]

i'd go back soon m8, seen as you got all the attention instead of your superviser then i would say he was flirting a little, if he was after tips he would go fishing around you older work mate as he would prob look like to bigger earner and more likely the one to leave the nice tip - we all like to be made to feel special so its always nice to recieve attention = nothing to loose by goin back asap,,, good luck

[Falaskan]

Well I went back, and it was a disastor! the place was very full (it was friday after all, but at the same time on Monday, it was empty). I sat by the window instead of the bar and was too nervous to make any obvious moves. He ended up not being my waiter, and I tried to observe him with other customers. He seemed more rushed and not as chatty as before but he was still friendly as before and I noticed that one of the waiters say goodbye to the customers whenever they leave, so it must be company policy. He was near my area once in a blue moon, but I didn't want to seem desperate and make a scene so i tried to play it cool. Once he noticed, I did the whole smile and half nod thing. He did too and then asked me what I had planned for the weekend as I was in the middle of stuffing my face with food. As i swallowed I said I was getting a root canal (which is true lol) and not much beyond that was said because he was not my waiter. Either he is not interested like I thought, or just as nervous about making a scene as I was. He may have looked in my direction a few times, but only because he was walking in that direction. I am starting to think the flirting was all in my head (as it ususally is) which really depresses me. I always let me nerves get the best of me and it is pathetic!