Maybe you should go back another time when its a bit quieter, with it being busy and rushed the only thing on his mind would be what he has to do next I guess.
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I'm sure nothing's just in your head! As I read your description of the second time you went there, I feel that the guy just had too much work to do and that's why he couldn't give you the same treatment as last time. Don't be too paranoid sorta about it. I think you need to visit the place again, on a quieter day, and just relax a bit. If this next time he doesn't act as he has the first time, then you just let it go.
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Falaskan Wrote:Well I went back, and it was a disastor! the place was very full (it was friday after all, but at the same time on Monday, it was empty). I sat by the window instead of the bar and was too nervous to make any obvious moves. He ended up not being my waiter, and I tried to observe him with other customers. He seemed more rushed and not as chatty as before but he was still friendly as before and I noticed that one of the waiters say goodbye to the customers whenever they leave, so it must be company policy. He was near my area once in a blue moon, but I didn't want to seem desperate and make a scene so i tried to play it cool. Once he noticed, I did the whole smile and half nod thing. He did too and then asked me what I had planned for the weekend as I was in the middle of stuffing my face with food. As i swallowed I said I was getting a root canal (which is true lol) and not much beyond that was said because he was not my waiter. Either he is not interested like I thought, or just as nervous about making a scene as I was. He may have looked in my direction a few times, but only because he was walking in that direction. I am starting to think the flirting was all in my head (as it ususally is) which really depresses me. I always let me nerves get the best of me and it is pathetic!
No, it wasn't a disaster... just wrong timing, obviously... and as he was not your waiter, he had no time for you and that's normal. As Juk said here, don't despair. If the food is good, you can go back some other time. This time if he remembers you were going to have root canal dentistry, then he's obviously interested enough to remember you... I find it interesting that he asked you such as personal question as what you had planned for the weekend... And if you let your nerves get the best of you, it's because you are very sensitive... Make that a bonus rather than a handicap...  mile:
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Hey, he asked you what you were doing for the weekend!
What do you want, roses?
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i agree that him asking you what you were doing at the weekend was him showing some interest, but it was also the perfect way for you to make a move. You could have asked him if he had any plans, and that way you would find out more about him (e.g is he single etc just by the people he mentions) and then depending on how the conversation went, just say 'oh great, both of us arent doing much, fancy going for a drink?'
theres always another time, just try and go when its quiet, i worked in a restaurant and when we were busy i couldnt even speak to friends or family who came in, so i wouldnt take it personally.
good luck and dont give up :biggrin:
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i think he's really interested in you but only you can tell for sure - if he's not totally sure your gay then i guess he's trying to asses it too - if it turned out the customer was straight and he asked them straight out to go for a drink then that customer could complain to management, he's got to be carefull but he's showing an interest in you outside work which is great news . .. try to relax next time and ask him about his weekend plans etc -
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Well I finally went back and he was my waiter, which was nice. He smiled, remembered me, and we chatted about different things. That is not abnormal in and of itself but he was not that talkative with other customers. At one point he even hung around longer than normal to chat during my meal. Everything went well, I didn't ask him out but left him more than a 35% tip, and wrote down that if he ever wanted to "hang out" to call me. Do you think I should've written "go out" instead of "hang out," or do you think he got the idea? Here's hoping he calls soon. I have never done this before so I do not know how long he'll wait, but I feel like I did my part. If he doesn't call back, I won't be going back to the restaurant.
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Falaskan Wrote:Do you think I should've written "go out" instead of "hang out," or do you think he got the idea? Here's hoping he calls soon. I have never done this before so I do not know how long he'll wait, but I feel like I did my part. If he doesn't call back, I won't be going back to the restaurant.
I think that "go out" would've been a little too much and what you did was perfect. If he is interested, he'll call back as soon as he can, I'm sure. There is no chance that he didn't read what you wrote, right?
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Hey - great stuff! Thats a bold move and I hope you get that call, and if not you at least have the experience for the next time. I actually admire you for doing this, I have never done anything so bold.
Be sure to let us know if you get that call!
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well done mate, that was probably the perfect way to do it, im sure you will get a phone call pretty soon :biggrin:
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