Casual sex

[peterinmalaga]

If it'd felt right, this thread wouldn't have been present

I see what you mean. When he says:"I almost feel bad though that I am not worrying about these casual encounters, and that I am enjoying them so much. Am I worrying too much?" he appears to be contradicting himself. I suppose his feelings about the casual sex change from one moment to the next. Is that right, Anonymous? But is that so uncommon or difficult to understand?

[MegaFullbuster]

If something makes you happy and does not directly harm others then it is perfectly fine.

[72jay]

If both you and the guy/girl you're with are ok with it being casual sex I see nothing wrong with it

That being said, i personally have no interest in casual sex...I'd only be interested in a real/meaningful relationship...(that or 'friends only'/non sexual)

[Geminight]

I think you have grown used to being in relationships and that has made you a bit more conservative than you may realize. You may be used to being with just one person at a time and now you've "set yourself free," so to speak and it feels different to you and in some ways you may feel guilty, but, we go through things like this now is a good time for you to spread your wings. And it seems to that your learning more about what you look for in a mate as well just by not being bound to just one person. I suggest you ride the wave and be as careful as possible who knows you just may run into that person you've been looking for. You can have a good time and still be safe.

[HankyPanky]

I wouldn't worry. If you're young then casual sex can be full of excitement and surprise and eventually most settle down with the 'one'. The 'one' usually being far removed from the idealistic vision you had of the perfect partner in your younger days.

[eastofeden]

almost feel bad though that I am not worrying about these casual encounters, and that I am enjoying them so much. Am I worrying too much?

When I met my current lover I was having regular sex with seven different guys and that had been going on for maybe 6 months to a year...some would come in to the nightclub and I would take a break and have a quickie and we did it in alot of exciting places..and I was having FUN...I liked it alot...

If it helps...looking back I have no regrets and I am glad I did it....I had a great time....unless you are hurting yourself or someone else I would say keep doing what you are doing.

[Student]

People are often made to feel guilty about sex because of the taboo that lingers. But in fact, as long as you are keeping your mind free of that guilt, and taking good care of your health, there is no reason why you shouldn't enjoy the casual encounters. They seem to correspond to a need you have at the moment. I would only suggest taking things less casually if it made you unhappy about yourself.

This seems about right.

[New guy]

I have done it once. Didn't even know the guy's name. I tell you what though, I'd do it again, and again and again.

[Sil]

Okayyyy... I'm gonna break the thread of a lifetime here and say Whoa, Nelly...

this seems to be a major dividing point in the gay world- to casual or not to casual? even for my age I'm speaking from limited experience, I've gotta say it's not such a great thing to find out about somebody when you're looking for a long term partner.

Sure it feels great at the time and it's very satisfying for the individual, but from relationships I've had where the guy has "fessed up" it's been a major turn-off. Some people deal with it differently, but retroactive jealousy, however much of a bullshit concept it might be, is potentially gonna be there when you eventually want to settle down with Mr.Right.

It sounds prudish, and stupid, but I always felt like gay culture would gain more respect by us having more respect for each other; it's the reason we're associated with casual sex, hook-ups, brazen behaviour. I really don't wanna sound like a jerk because I've done the casual thing with a small C, but I've also hated having the tables turned. My boyfriend sometimes comes out with these stories that leave me with mental imagery for weeks. I've also dumped a guy over it, because really it just ended up like a form of bravado where he'd casually drop in about his 'fun experiences'. It's just annoying and comparative. A guy with a whole cemetery in his closet is gonna leave me (and I dunno, some other guys) running a mile after a couple of good nights out; it depends on the person.

You're only young and you should be doing this stuff, just respect yourself so you don't regret it. That guy I dumped? serious self-esteem issues :confused: it's kinda what I see now when I hear about people going for lots of casual.

[marshlander]

Okayyyy... I'm gonna break the thread of a lifetime here and say Whoa, Nelly......

We all have some history. I suppose one way to stay sane, if we think change is required, is to change what we can and learn from what we can't ... ?