Casual sex

[eastofeden]

I think respect includes not judging each other...I can get that from straight people if I want it...I notice a new trend among gay people who judge people who like to have sex...is this what gay pride was for? To become as judgemental about each other as the heterosexual population is. The "good ones" are virginic and the "bad ones" are whores? UGH I find it very dissappointing.:mad:

[Sil]

We all have some history. I suppose one way to stay sane, if we think change is required, is to change what we can and learn from what we can't ... ?

Bringing a little sanity to my rant, thankyou Marshy...

I didn't mean to be judgemental but I guess it came across that way; it's just my personal experience based on a few people. I was hoping that last part would kinda say "if you do it it's your choice and I don't mind" it's just something I didn't like in some of my exes. Apologies Eastofeden.

[eastofeden]

No need to apologize Sil...I was inspired to respond after I read your post but truthfully it was so many instances I am thinking about in general...I wonder how much growing up with AIDS in the forecast influenced subsequent generations and their attitudes?.

In regards to what you were saying specifically...I remember those feelings well...sometimes it felt like getting punched in the gut but there is a whole world beyond that if you are willing to grow and evolve and listen and learn...becoming secure within yourself and allowing other people to be who they are without letting it affect you are worthy...and attainable... goals.

[fredv3b]

EofE,

What's wrong with passing judgement? Or put it another way saying not anything or everything is OK?

[eastofeden]

EofE,

What's wrong with passing judgement? Or put it another way saying not anything or everything is OK?

Whether it is right or wrong is subjective but I feel it is detrimental to the future of the gay movement for equality to judge each other while pretending to embrace diversity and asking for the same.

As an individual it is imperative to process incoming information which is judgement but the degree which you externalize it and the motives behind it are a measure of one's character IMO and if you are OK with the judgements as an individual then own them and call it what they are. Often times, for instance, what you dislike in others is a reflection of what you dislike about yourself. Externalizing self hatred is not pretty and serves no one....which is a judgement on my part but one I can live with and make no apology for.

In context of what I was referring to...what effect does other people's sex lives have on you personally and if you feel compelled to judge other people based on their partners then we have effectively done to each other what straight people and religion have already done except for me it feels like a slap in the face and far more personal because I expect it from them.

[juk]

Eloquently put eastofeden, I agree completely

[fredv3b]

Whether it is right or wrong is subjective but I feel it is detrimental to the future of the gay movement for equality to judge each other while pretending to embrace diversity and asking for the same.

Unfortunately, I believe that an attitude of anything is OK is detrimental to the gay movement for equality. I think it makes enemies of many mildly/moderately religious people who might otherwise be fairly neutral.

In context of what I was referring to...what effect does other people's sex lives have on you personally and if you feel compelled to judge other people based on their partners then we have effectively done to each other what straight people and religion have already done except for me it feels like a slap in the face and far more personal because I expect it from them.

I judge a liar even if he hasn't lied to me. I am sorry to disappoint but I do make judgements about someone's character based on their behaviour.

[juk]

Unfortunately, I believe that an attitude of anything is OK is detrimental to the gay movement for equality. I think it makes enemies of many mildly/moderately religious people who might otherwise be fairly neutral.

Are you advocating that to be classed as an acceptable gay person you have to follow rules as defined by you and those who share your opinion?

[fredv3b]

Are you advocating that to be classed as an acceptable gay person you have to follow rules as defined by you and those who share your opinion?

I am saying that morality is public as well as private, and that many people, including myself, are deeply sceptical of the idea that anything goes.

I make my judgements according to my beliefs, and (for the most part) keep them to myself. Others, I am sure, make their own judgements based on their beliefs. I sure there are people who hold a low opinion of me, but I accept that as part of Life's rich tapestry.

[eastofeden]

Unfortunately, I believe that an attitude of anything is OK is detrimental to the gay movement for equality. I think it makes enemies of many mildly/moderately religious people who might otherwise be fairly neutral.

I would rather make enemies with religious people who judge gay people than make enemies of each other in order to gain their approval and internalize their judgments. That was the plan with the light skinned versus dark skinned blacks...the house slaves versus the field slaves. I don't think it is a gay movement any longer if we are OK with equality for a few of us...the ones the mildly/moderate people might be accepting of.

I judge a liar even if he hasn't lied to me. I am sorry to disappoint but I do make judgements about someone's character based on their behaviour.

I was specifically referring to sexuality and what point there was judging each other and if you want to make character judgements based on who other people have sex with you are of course free to do so but you must realize that this is the very same oppressive dynamic we are trying to overcome. I think one's judgements of others is a reflection of who they are and really says nothing about the people they are judging.