Okay, so here is the story. I met this guy. He's such a sweet, nice guy. We share a lot of interests. We started going out (but we're not together). The problem is he can't stay here for long since his VISA is gonna expire. He told me that if he could stay here for good, he would love me to be his boyfriend and live with him. The question is, should I expect to be with this guy? I know he's working on his papers so he can stay here, but do I refrain from falling for him? We don't know if he's gonna stay here for good, but I know that I really really like him! It's just that I don't wanna get hurt again. I don't wanna waste my feelings. Can you give me some advice?
His stuff is going to expire in September, 2 months from now. What should I do?
And what matters worse is that I found out that he posted an ad on CL looking for "fun". I know we are not yet together, but why would he do that? Sometimes I feel like he's serious with me, sometimes not. Do I have to be serious about him too? or do I just have to let it go since it's still unknown if he's gonna stay here? I told him about it and he immediately deleted the ad. I know I don't have the right since we're not yet together, but it's obviously we're getting there, right?
I don't know what to do? So many issues. I just want a very honest answer. I know I gotta do something. Thanks for the help. I appreciate it.
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Have you heard of the saying " better to have lost a love than to have never have loved at all "? If you dont go for it , you will always wonder what would have happened if .... Life is too short , enjoy yourself and enjoy your time together . If he has to leave , then he has to leave , at least you would have had some fun together . Life is full of risks , and if we played it safe all the time , then life would be very boring indeed . Enjoy your time together , what will be will be .
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Gareth125 Wrote:Have you heard of the saying " better to have lost a love than to have never have loved at all "? If you dont go for it , you will always wonder what would have happened if .... Life is too short , enjoy yourself and enjoy your time together . If he has to leave , then he has to leave , at least you would have had some fun together . Life is full of risks , and if we played it safe all the time , then life would be very boring indeed . Enjoy your time together , what will be will be .
Yes I agree but be ready to take responsibility. Get to know "The game of life and how to play it".
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Gareth is totally right. Go for it and don't worry about what will happen. Just be with the guy. :] And if he has to leave, there's always the chance of you visiting him or him coming back. Good luck!
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Of course you should enjoy the time together and see what happens. Maybe you will get to be a couple in time.
Would you two have the option of "getting married" where you live? Because I don't think you should be rushed into marriage just so he can get his papers and stay. I know a gay couple here in Spain who got married. One is Spanish, the other Cuban. Now the Cuban guy has filed for divorce and they have only been married a year. Am I cynical or did the Cuban guy use his Spanish boyfriend to get legal status here?
There are two issues here.
1. Should you show him love? YES
2. His papers. That should not influence your relationship with him unless you have already been dating for a couple of years.
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Thanks for the reply. But what about the Craigslist Ad thing? I caught him posting an ad about looking for some "fun" (you know what I mean). Should I just forget about that? Why would he do that if we are getting serious? That is why I'm confused because I honestly don't know if he's playing with me or not. I know life is full of games, I just don't want to make the wrong decision. I just don't want to regret in the end. He would always tell me that he wants to live with me if he stays here, but there are things that contradict his words: the Craigslist Ad, sometimes he acts as if I'm just a regular friend, doesn't bother to say hi sometimes.. something like that. Maybe I'm just too serious about it, you think?
That Craigslist Ad really bothers me to tell you the truth. Should I trust him?
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peterinmalaga Wrote:Of course you should enjoy the time together and see what happens. Maybe you will get to be a couple in time.
Would you two have the option of "getting married" where you live? Because I don't think you should be rushed into marriage just so he can get his papers and stay. I know a gay couple here in Spain who got married. One is Spanish, the other Cuban. Now the Cuban guy has filed for divorce and they have only been married a year. Am I cynical or did the Cuban guy use his Spanish boyfriend to get legal status here?
There are two issues here.
1. Should you show him love? YES
2. His papers. That should not influence your relationship with him unless you have already been dating for a couple of years.
I don't think we can do that here. To be honest, he wants to marry a girl from here so he can stay here. Then after two years, they will get divorce. I am okay with that coz if thats the only option to stay here , then it's fine with me. I like him so much, I'll handle everything. The question is, is he worth it? Like does he deserve me, my time, my heart? Idk.
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Well, about the Craiglist Ad, don't worry so much. He removed it - he did it because he took in that you are serious about the whole thing. You will never know whether you can trust him until you've gone for it. Trust him. If he's a nice and smart guy, he'll look for fun only with you.
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SlipknotRlZZ Wrote:Well, about the Craiglist Ad, don't worry so much. He removed it - he did it because he took in that you are serious about the whole thing. You will never know whether you can trust him until you've gone for it. Trust him. If he's a nice and smart guy, he'll look for fun only with you.
He removed it because I found it. But what if I didn't find it? I don't think he would remove it. I was browsing Craigslist again, I found out that he posted ads twice. One last week and one that I found last night. What if he met someone last week? You know what I mean?
And oh, one more thing. He invited me to go to Maui or Vegas for my birthday next month. The thing is, should I really TRUST him after all these things? I would love to go with him, but I'm not sure if I should. It seems like I don't know this guy yet. Advice anyone?
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Have you actually talked to him about any of this?
You keeping tabs on Craigslist makes you sound like a stalker and if you're not a stalker, what are you doing on there? Sorry, I don't really know what you are expecting from us.
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