Recently my boyfriend broke up with me because of distance and 'because he did not love me anymore'. We have talked since and it seems that he fell out of love because of the distance. Me I still get to be the sappy romantic fool (yes this means I am still in love).
We where going out for about eight months and everything seemed fine.
He told me that the reason he didn't call to talk about it was because out phone conversations where really awkward of full of silences and the like.
I guess I am posting because ironically enough I am still probably going to move to the city he is located in anyway (for work and the like) and I would like to try and give it a second go because i still love him but I am so pissed off at him for not even trying to talk to me about it and so afraid of loosing his friendship, well I guess I am kinda afraid of making the leap. So any advice would be appreciated.
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Honestly? Well to me it smells like an excuse. Distance is difficult in a relationship, but most people find that the time apart makes them more keen.
Does he know you are going to move near to him, and if so what is his reaction? If he sounds pleased and if *he* says it will be an opportunity to give things a second go then things could work out - if its just you wanting it then it doesnt seem likely to change anything.
If the move is all set, why not keep things low key with him - if there are still sparks between you both things will fall into place. If not, then you need to look at moving on emotionally (which takes time)
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If he says that he don´t love you anymore why you should try and give him a second chance ? You should look to the future and looking for a man who really loves you...
a second chance in love is a bad compromise.
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I don't think you should necessarily try something with him again. Maybe when you move there, you could try and meet him, try to just have fun and see if he may be interested in going back together with you. But if doesn't seem to want to be with you, just give up on him and open your heart for new opportunities.
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In love (and war) there's only one rule: There's no rules.
Having said that I wouldn't chase after him too hard. He may have left you for someone else.
In his memory put his picture up on your wall, right in the middle of the dart board. Let's face it, he was not that good. Chances are the next one will be a lot better.
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Probably not a good idea to get back with him... Although it may by hard, certainly don't try chasing after him. For either good or bad, him seeing you move on would probably make him more interested in pursuing you...
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One doesn't fall out of love because of the distance. Sure, you both have to be very committed to the relationship and work to keep it alive, but distance alone is not a valid reason for him to fall out of love with you. Having been in a long-distance relationship for many years that is my experience anyway.
By all means carry on with your plans for your new job if you are doing it for yourself. Your ex has moved on and I hope you can too. You can do better for yourself.
Good luck.
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Thank you all very much.
I am still rather confused (and slightly annoyed) about my feelings for him.
I will do my best to remain as his friend i think as he is involved the same social club and our circle of friends intersect a lot so in the interest of not having things be awkward I will try this idea.
Thanks for your advice and help ^^
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I think one of the reasons why my ex left me, it was the distance. However, that did not get to him in the past. We made these promises about meeting up and doing the things we wanted to do. It unfortunately never happened. Plus I wholeheartedly believe he was using it as an excuse and he was told by others about the distance thing.
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mile:
