08-22-2010, 07:43 PM
Okay, so, I've had an issue that's been on my mind for quite some time, but, have never been too sure where to talk about it. By some odd chance, I randomly found this site, and, after lurking for some time, I thought this would probably be the best place to talk about it. It's a bit of a long story, so, please forgive me...
So, a little over a year ago, I began talking online with this guy who lives in a different state. We hit it off almost instantly, talking for hours and hours about just random stuff. We shared a crazy amount of the same interests, and, at times, it seems that we were the same person because we would say the same things at the same time. Well, I began developing feelings for him, and, when i finally found the balls to say so, i was surprised that he had them in return. From that point, we kept in almost constant contact, and began making plans to finally meet up. We even talked about me moving up there, partly because there are better job opportunities up where he lives, but, also because, well, my part of Texas (east texas) sucks and I hate it. Well, in Febuary, we finally did so. It was an amazing week, and it just felt so natural. We decided to make things more serious, and more committed, even though I had to come back to Texas. Things were okay afterward for some time. It wasn't until early May that he became a bit more distant than normal. We still talked all the time... I could just tell that he was hiding something. At the same time, I had been asking myself questions about if me and him were just caught up in the moment of or week together. Near the end of the month, he let me know that maybe we rushed things and that distance was just too much for him. So, we broke up. It was amicable, yet very heart-wrenching for me.
Okay, now that the stage has been set, here comes the interesting parts. First off, he said the death of things between us was the distance, and that he still has feelings for me, but, just telling someone they love you is not enough, which I agree. While having someone be there for you emotionally is great to have, sometimes, you just need someone to hold you and kiss you gently on the forehead and tell you that everything will be alright. I honestly still love him, too. He's been the first person who's ever really truly gotten me. Also, me and him still support each other through everything still, honestly. He also still wants me to move up there.
Also, during the time since we've broken up, and we've each have gone out on dates with other guys nearby us. I know this because we've mentioned it, though we have a rule that if the other person is getting too uncomfortable or angry to stop. He's admitted to me that he's jealous when i date other guys, and, well, I'm obviously jealous too. The two of us also still want to do a lot of stuff together, too. And, not like just hanging out, going to the movies or shopping together. In October, a few days before I move into my place I've found up there, the two of us are going to a convention together and are sharing a hotel room. Two beds, but, still. And, this convention was his idea. Even more interesting, just within the past few weeks, he's come up with ideas of even more conventions for the two of us to visit.
Okay, now, here's the point where I need some opinions on... Am I just looking too much into this, or does there look to be a possibility he still wants something more than friendship? I mean, I would really like for the two of us to try things again in a bit more of a traditional idea of dating (you know, not having a date over a phone or on a webcam), but, at the same time, I don't want to keep my hopes up and get my heart wrenched-out even more than it has been over this.
Keep in mind, I'm going up there with the idea in my head that I'm single, and I have ever intention on dating other gusy. Also, I'm not moving up there to be with him, I'm going there for my own reasons, the biggest being more opportunity than some backwater Texas town. I just really want some other people's thoughts on this.
So, a little over a year ago, I began talking online with this guy who lives in a different state. We hit it off almost instantly, talking for hours and hours about just random stuff. We shared a crazy amount of the same interests, and, at times, it seems that we were the same person because we would say the same things at the same time. Well, I began developing feelings for him, and, when i finally found the balls to say so, i was surprised that he had them in return. From that point, we kept in almost constant contact, and began making plans to finally meet up. We even talked about me moving up there, partly because there are better job opportunities up where he lives, but, also because, well, my part of Texas (east texas) sucks and I hate it. Well, in Febuary, we finally did so. It was an amazing week, and it just felt so natural. We decided to make things more serious, and more committed, even though I had to come back to Texas. Things were okay afterward for some time. It wasn't until early May that he became a bit more distant than normal. We still talked all the time... I could just tell that he was hiding something. At the same time, I had been asking myself questions about if me and him were just caught up in the moment of or week together. Near the end of the month, he let me know that maybe we rushed things and that distance was just too much for him. So, we broke up. It was amicable, yet very heart-wrenching for me.
Okay, now that the stage has been set, here comes the interesting parts. First off, he said the death of things between us was the distance, and that he still has feelings for me, but, just telling someone they love you is not enough, which I agree. While having someone be there for you emotionally is great to have, sometimes, you just need someone to hold you and kiss you gently on the forehead and tell you that everything will be alright. I honestly still love him, too. He's been the first person who's ever really truly gotten me. Also, me and him still support each other through everything still, honestly. He also still wants me to move up there.
Also, during the time since we've broken up, and we've each have gone out on dates with other guys nearby us. I know this because we've mentioned it, though we have a rule that if the other person is getting too uncomfortable or angry to stop. He's admitted to me that he's jealous when i date other guys, and, well, I'm obviously jealous too. The two of us also still want to do a lot of stuff together, too. And, not like just hanging out, going to the movies or shopping together. In October, a few days before I move into my place I've found up there, the two of us are going to a convention together and are sharing a hotel room. Two beds, but, still. And, this convention was his idea. Even more interesting, just within the past few weeks, he's come up with ideas of even more conventions for the two of us to visit.
Okay, now, here's the point where I need some opinions on... Am I just looking too much into this, or does there look to be a possibility he still wants something more than friendship? I mean, I would really like for the two of us to try things again in a bit more of a traditional idea of dating (you know, not having a date over a phone or on a webcam), but, at the same time, I don't want to keep my hopes up and get my heart wrenched-out even more than it has been over this.
Keep in mind, I'm going up there with the idea in my head that I'm single, and I have ever intention on dating other gusy. Also, I'm not moving up there to be with him, I'm going there for my own reasons, the biggest being more opportunity than some backwater Texas town. I just really want some other people's thoughts on this.
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