Advice needed

[maris_37]

Hello,
I'm actually straght. But I would really apreciate if you guys could let me know your opinion about the case below.
4 days ago I met a young couple (man and woman) in a club. We went to my hotel room later, for some more drinks. Then me and the girl started extensive kissing. And the man appeared to be gay. He was trying to approach me all the time despite my NO. After some time, when I was naked in bed with the girl, I noted that the guy, also naked came to me from behind. And I felt his penis on my butt and back. When I realised that, I pushed him away again and asked not to do that anymore.
I have to say that we all were extremely drunk. And from that night I have a lot of gaps in my memory. To ilustrate that. Next day someone told me that we had a telephone conversation. And I denied that, because I didn't remember even having the phone call. But when I checked my phone, yes, it was there.
And all that makes me really worried. Especially those blackouts in my memory. What if the guy did penetrate me and I didn't realise that, because I was drunk? And he didn't have any condom for sure.
To my memory, we all didn't have any sex at all.
So, as I have no gay experience in my life, my question is. Would I feel penetration even completely drunk? And would I feel some pain or something next day in my butt?
Of course, I feel terribly bad and shame about all that..

[fenris]

Hi,

I think, if you never has had anal-sex before, you normally feel something the next day, maybe a sour feeling. But this is only my opinion - others maybe say something different.

Yes.. I think you will feel a penetration if you are drunk and never has this kind of sex before... and the other wasn´t really tender.

But I want to tell you something: I find it very good, that you have found the courage to ask here. Respect !
Did you stay in contact with both... or was it a ONS ? Maybe you can ask, what happend ?
But my opinion is to stay always on a secure side... And if you don´t know what happend at all it seems better to get testet if you / in your case the other have not used a condom....I don´t want to make you be afraid ... I am thinking just because you should stay with a / your girlfriend in future on the safe side.
If you have more questions, feel free to ask....

[juk]

I agree with Fenris, I would imagine that the following day you would be aware - although to be honest I dont know for certain. I would certainly imagine you would be aware of it happening while drunk.

I am going to be boring here and say please be careful how much you drink when getting into these situations - just helps you stay more aware and in control. Sorry, boring but true mile:

[jasongive]

It sounds like a great night had by all,but you will have a better understanding next time.
maybe meet people in a other way,I use cryolynx co cc its fun and exciting,at least you will know what you`ve the night before!:biggrin:

[marshlander]

It sounds like an interesting evening, but if you go with a couple I guess you might need to anticipate the unexpected (yes, I know that is a contradiction).

If you have any worries at all, get yourself to the G.U.M. clinic as soon as you can. They'll be able to give you the proper advice about the risks you have taken and will be able to start you on any treatments necessary.

I am not convinced that you would always know the next day if the man actually penetrated you while you were out of it unless he was pretty brutal about it and left you with injuries. "Injuries" do not have to be dramatic, by the way. You might just experience some soreness or aching, but it is not necessarily going to be the case, so best get tested to make sure.

I'll echo Fenris and add my own acknowledgement of you coming here for an opinion.

I hope it all works out okay and maybe add a bit more water next time ...?

[maris_37]

Thank you guys for your inputs! Feel a little bit better now.
I also think that I should have felt that, even being drunk. Not sure about the next day.
Unfortunately it was a ONS and I have no chance to ask them what happened.
I know clearly my risks. If there was penetration, I'm at risk. If not - no problem.
I'm somehow 90% sure that nothing happened. I don't think that they would prescribe PEP in such situation, because it's very dangerous treatment, as much as I have heard. And it's being prescribed only when there was a certain contact with HIV infection, no maybees. Anyway now it's too late, because it's being done within first 72h after the contact.
For the piece of mind I would get tested. But the main problem is how to refrain from sex with my permanent partner for at least 8 weeks. And it's also not easy to explain why to use condom now. Luckily I'm traveling quite a lot and am home only weekends. But anyway difficult. About a year ago I had already one uncertain case. And I was escaping from sex with my partner. And that damaged our relations very much. Still there are problems...
Anyway, thank you again for your help!