My first true crushes

[Ultra]

I had crushes on girls waaaaay back in elementary school. The total truth is that these were not genuine, honest or true whatsoever. I only went along with my friend who had a crush on girls. I remember going through a yearbook with him and I pointed out the girls. It seemed pretty random and I knew nothing about these girls at all. One of the biggest mistakes I made was writing a love letter to one of them and then she told my teacher about it. It was pretty embarrassing and I did not like it at all.

While I was in junior high school, I developed a crush on this guy that was ultra handsome. He was shorter than me, had medium-long brown hair, an ultra cute smile, a really nicely proportioned nose, great lips and he was Italian. I was totally infatuated by this boy and I wish I came out to him. However, I was taught that homosexuality was bad and some other things. My conscience was telling me that it was extremely wrong.

I thought this guy was the cutest thing ever. I noticed that a lot of girls were into him. He had a really cool personality and he was a tennis player. I only talked to him a few times. I was mostly friendly with him online and I remember having conversations with him online.

I'll never forget this one time and it confirms that I totally had a crush on him. He was talking to me and he had a super cute and innocent looking smile on his face... I was blushing and I was hoping that he didn't notice. This never happened with girls... yeah ya know I do have a shyness with girls, though that's because I was told over and over that I should get a girlfriend and stuff. I only want to become friends with girls and that's it.

Anyhow... I don't remember what he said and I was a bit embarrassed. I just couldn't talk to him. I wish I was able to talk to him more. However, good thing I didn't get involved with him.

I think he was pretty much straight and that's it. Now if we did mess around or something, it wouldn't have lasted. He moved to another state in 1999 and I barely kept in touch with him online. I haven't talked to him in over 10 years. I doubt that he couldn't convince his parents to stay so we could continue our relationship (if it happened). Perhaps, he could have gotten really scared and freaked out if I made a move on him and he would be glad about moving. I kinda know why he moved... my school district is awful.

I'll get into another guy that I had a crush on. He was a cute Italian guy with brown hair (his hair was not long) and similar to the guy I was talking about. They happened to be friends as well, I think they were best friends too. Now this guy had problems like drugs... and I'm turned off by that. One of my old friends that was friends with him told me that he had a feeling that he was gay. But not in the good way. My old friend was pretty homophobic. He was saying that he was homosexual and he was not cool for being a homosexual.

This guy... I was kinda friends with. Now there was one time where he did give me a hug randomly. My friend and him were hanging out on the top of my driveway. Out of nowhere, he all of a sudden hugs me. What the hell? I knew in my mind that he wasn't gay. If he was, eh... I guess that would have been cool. Now if we got closer... yup same thing happened... he moved too.

I did hang out with him one more time in 2003... he was all grown up and he really really did not appeal to me at all. He did a lot of drug use and stuff... he was super straight looking and I could tell that the drugs took a toll on his body.

Yeah so there's the history of my crushes. I didn't have any other crushes... oh okay, yeah I'll admit that I did have a crush on Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

[The Virgin]

i had my first ever crush to a boy back when i was, 6-7 years old, i guess...hehe... i got a very early, uhm, adolescent romance period.