Is this right?

[yal]

Hi i am yal ,a 39 year old male who has been married for 15 years.
I have in the past 4 years felt more and more like a woman,infact i think i am comming out,not to have sex with a male person,but rather for a male to have sex with me??!!
I have never in my life felt love for man but since last month or so want to meet a man,not for sex just yet but to get to know what is expected of me.
I know that i will feel easy with a much older man just yet,and then if i think i can come out more then so be it.
Either way i think it is unusual for a man to think this way at my age!!!
Any help?

[Serfdom]

It sounds to me like you're looking for something new and these feelings have awakened latent feelings which you kept hidden because of your marriage. SAdly for your marriage theres only two solutions.

1 - find a guy and have an affair.

2 - do nothing and let the feelings brew until they manifest themsevles some otherway; possibly through violence!

So, I'd recommend number one. Though theres no way the marriage won't be damaged. If you value your marriage, keep it to yourself but if you want to be honest to her you need to discuss these feelings with her.

[yal]

I can hide it from my wife since my family lives abroad and i only visit the uk for a few months every year.
My problem is how to go on about it? i am quiet good at keeping secrets from my wife.

[Serfdom]

well you'd need to kick up a friendship with a friend who you could isolate from the rest of your life and explore your sexuality with him. Normally at this point I'd invite you to PM me, but i've got enough buddies right now

That said if you need any advice don't hesitite to ask!

[yal]

There are many questions i like to ask you!
One thing on my mind is how to do it for the first time??
I know that i am not the first guy ever having sex with a male partner,but am interested to know! even AIDS and other stuff going around!

[Serfdom]

Use a condom if you're going to penetrate another man (or visa-versa) to avoid STD's.

[spotysocks]

Hi,
I think you have it easy!
I am a 39 year old guy who has been married for 15 years,and yet at the age of 39 with no gay relationships what so ever,i have said to my self" enough is enough" and have started to visit gay sites.
Infact this site is the only gay site i have been to in my life.
My problem is that i know i am gay,but can not approach men or even go to gay bars and clubs since they are "pro" sort of speak.
I am looking for a man who is atleast 20 years my senior so that i can with him,"come out".
I am feeling so frustrated that your feelings to me is just water under the bridge.
I know what men expect women to do in bed,but can not physicaly(even though i want to) do that for a man,infact i am not gay i think,i am a woman traped in a man's body,since i do not want to be the man in any relationship.
I run a good business and am well off finacialy.
I just don't know where to start??? I don't know who to trust??
If the first guy who takes me to bed wants to bum me,i will probably break his neck,but if a guy with a wealth of experiance starts me off on trivial acts or a "biginers guide to being gay" then i will stck with him.
I am not english and have more hair than average english guys so this too makes me feel that could be a handicap for me.
Can any of you guys help me out me on this?
At this moment in time i can only make friends with much older guys! or a guy who is in the same boat as me!

Sorry for intruding your converstation in a way . I quote your reply to another thread so i comment here.
Everyone has a type but i dont understand why the guy you are looking for 'has to be' at least 20 years older than you. It wont do what you said "come out with him". In my opinion you need a man near your age who can understand your situation. Realistically talking a 20 years gap between you 2 wont make a difference.

If you fantasize being in the passive role with a man that doesnt exactly mean you are a woman in a man's body. Dont make any rush decisions or judgments. I watching a documentary a few months ago with a man who had a sex change operation. Basically that man was very successful in what he was doing but at some point things went wrong and he got bankrupt , he was really distressed and everything combined together led him to a sex change operation. then he decided it was a mistake and wanted to change back just about when he got his wealth back and was financially secure again. He blamed his psychotherapist who apparently encouraged him to his decision.

Your best option is to start simple and find someone in the same boat or more experienced than you to explore. For a guide to safe sex check www.metromate.org.uk

As for your marriage , as Serfdom said you have these 2 options. You can keep it secret or talk with her as a couple. Whatever you choose be careful especially if you have kids..but thats your business anyway.

[yal]

Thank you for a good reply!
I have not to date had sex with another man,even as i write this i have doubts about myself being able to advertise myself or even look for a gay guy,other than here on the net.
What i wanted to find out for myself was to be around a man who as to say " been around men longer than me" so that i feel no threats,almost an elder type figure.
I suppose this goes back to when i was 16 and first had sex with a woman who was 30 at that time,she knew what was what and slowly brought me to a point to want to fuck her brains out!
So i feel the same now as i did them,i suppose i enjoyed it then and want the same now!

[Serfdom]

you can't recreate the past, but I understand where you're coming from. One thing is bugging me though - if you'd hit a man who tried to have sex with you, then what exactly do you want the man to do?

It sounds like you need a father figure to tell you its all alright. Well, darling, its allright to fuck men! And even if it isn't who gives a shit when so many of us do it! lol

You'd be in good company!

I once heard it said that if heaven and hell are real and we're all going to be sent to hell, then hell is going to be on hell of a hot party with millions of guys fucking all the time hehe.

[yal]

you can't recreate the past, but I understand where you're coming from. One thing is bugging me though - if you'd hit a man who tried to have sex with you, then what exactly do you want the man to do?

It sounds like you need a father figure to tell you its all alright. Well, darling, its allright to fuck men! And even if it isn't who gives a shit when so many of us do it! lol

You'd be in good company!

I once heard it said that if heaven and hell are real and we're all going to be sent to hell, then hell is going to be on hell of a hot party with millions of guys fucking all the time hehe.

Hell can only be here on earth,after life ,we don't know about!so why risk it? Be a good guy on earth and find out nothing is waiting for you on the other side other than a few space rocks beating you about as you float in the space, the only thing on your mind then would be this" i wish i enjoyed myself while on earth" mile: