Is this right?

[spotysocks]

Thank you for a good reply!
I have not to date had sex with another man,even as i write this i have doubts about myself being able to advertise myself or even look for a gay guy,other than here on the net.
What i wanted to find out for myself was to be around a man who as to say " been around men longer than me" so that i feel no threats,almost an elder type figure.
I suppose this goes back to when i was 16 and first had sex with a woman who was 30 at that time,she knew what was what and slowly brought me to a point to want to fuck her brains out!
So i feel the same now as i did them,i suppose i enjoyed it then and want the same now!

Ok , now makes more sense.
You are not 16 anymore you are a grown up. To be frank the daddy thing in my opinion hides insecurities, from your part. The age now matters less. What you looking for is irrelevant of age and since you are inexperienced someone in his 20's 30's 40's who's been around would know what he is doing in bed with a man more than you do now.
Leave any insecurities you have and focus in finding a good man who can understand your situation and give you the experience and discretion you need.

Hell can only be here on earth,after life ,we don't know about!so why risk it? Be a good guy on earth and find out nothing is waiting for you on the other side other than a few space rocks beating you about as you float in the space, the only thing on your mind then would be this" i wish i enjoyed myself while on earth" mile:

So you agree with Serfdom's point.

Since your family is not in the UK you have more space to try things out and see how it works out. I d say be honest with your wife but it can be risky; its your marriage , your family and you know the dynamics involved better.

[yal]

I so much agree with you spotysocks,but thats my rational side,where my emotional side is tearing me aprat and pushing me to the older mans' side!
Maybe if i had the chance to make it happen,then after ,things would calm down in my head.
I suppose it's a mental disorder?? since 20 years ago when i used to live in america,i met a girl who after 6 months opened up to me and told me about her uncle who at that time was 32 and she was 21,and to be honest with you,i actualy cooked her up for him,just to see them have sex with eachother,i guess what i know now is that in the back of my mind i was her,and the uncle was the older man! so it is deep rooted in me!
I have so many times allowed an ex girl friend to have sex with an older man,infact the older the better and i did enjoy it more than having sex myself!
Now it has zoomed on me,since there is no more girlfriends about and my wife 1000's of miles away!
So i know what's going on with me and know it could be a disorder,but it is still urging me to do it,like the smokers.. they know it's bad for them and will kill them eventualy but they still crave the time to run out the pub and light one!
So i guess i am the smoker in the pub or the airplane and the older guy is the fag!

[Serfdom]

I think what you are is blood confused as fuck! Thought of councelling?

[yal]

Well,many people hetro sexual or gay have prefreances be it,they like older,younger,ugly or fat partners! i see no grounds for councelling where as "thinking along gay lines" may require it,but who am i to talk? you are a full practicing gay and think of yourself as normal,but when you hear a guy wanting older or younger,then you lash out " seek councelling?"

I think what we have here is "Do as i say,not what you want" otherwise we will call you mad!
Every man or woman has vises but not many feel up to it to speak about them specialy on a public forum like me.Many even like animals... but see them at work,they appear as a normal guy or woman.I think in a society we have to learn to be more open and stop the name callings when ever we see a guy a little differant than ourselves.

World problems can be fixed over night if we all learn to respect other sides view rather than name calling and placing them in catagories to lable them as mad or on a black list,while we sit as the accuser and pat ourselves on the back as if there is nothing wrong with our attitudes.

But enough said,and i like to invite anyone with a constructive view.

[Serfdom]

I didn't mean to upset you, but it was the thing about the Uncle which struck me as a bit weird.

Best of luck finding someone.

[yal]

Nothing in this world should make you feel it be unusual or be weird !
When we see so much stuff going on internet,are you telling me "uncle" made you think "weird?"
To be honest if a guy tells me he likes to have sex with a sheep (LOL) ,i would not give it second thoughts,and just say "good luck to you" since nothing has ever shocked me since i worked with the lowest sections of society for years and years,and know this " 60% of any society is made up of lower income people" so what they do is in the majority,so i guess when we drive our flash cars around and eat steak every day,we are the weirdos!

We are side tracking here friend,lets bring this back to topic!mile:

[yal]

I didn't mean to upset you, but it was the thing about the Uncle which struck me as a bit weird.

Best of luck finding someone.

Hell! i am not upset,You have every right!

[spotysocks]

In my understanding serfdom mentioned counseling not because of the age of the man you find yourself to be attracted to but because of the history behind it.

I have so many times allowed an ex girl friend to have sex with an older man,infact the older the better and i did enjoy it more than having sex myself!
Now it has zoomed on me,since there is no more girlfriends about and my wife 1000's of miles away!

Counseling is not for mad people, is for people who are deep enough to want to discover themselves and looking for answers. If you want that then do counseling otherwise dont.
If i was to make an assumption i d say that the wisdom, authority and security age represents is what makes the older man so appealing to you. And because you asked it is not a mental disorder. it is more like a trait or a desire you have that makes you think 'why?'. the more you were digging you find a history behind.

Should you fulfill your fantasy? Since it doesnt harm anyone yes you should! It will teach you more about yourself and also i believe we only live once.

[yal]

I like that spotysocks! You are more mature than i was at 29!

[futureRD]

I personally am against cheating no matter what. . . but that ethical point is a personal issue. You need to do what YOU believe is right.

Just be prepared to have to face it one day. The man you fool around with on the side could get pissed at you and inform your wife. Plus you never know who will find out and inform your wife. It's happened to many of my friends that thought they could keep it quiet.

OH and make sure if you do sleep with a man (or a woman), to make sure you use protection. You don't want to give a "gift" to your wife that could shatter her physical health as well as her mental health.