not sure what

[postman]

Hello folks....not exactly sure what I am looking for.....I gave up looking for answers a long time ago.......and life is a lot more complicated than I expected when I was young...

I am 42....been with the same girl 20yrs..married 14yrs...kids....etc etc and the only person I know who knows i'm.......Gay/Bi/doing my own thing...... is my long term gay friend/fuckbuddy of 13yrs......

I envy the posts in the "coming out" section....... but have never loved a man the way I love my wife.....never mind my family life and kids.......

am I living a lie or just making the best of what i've got....... I am not real big on the guilt stuff which certainly helps......

but that don't stop it being complicated........ am I the only one in this situation..... so metimes it sure feels like it :confused:

[fenris]

Hi and Welcome :-)

I hope that we can read you much often here ... And I think, here are some nice people to talk to.

[posterpicture]

Believe me that their a bunch of people like you. You are welcome here and we all share something in common: a complicated life

[marshlander]

You are by no means unique but, by the very nature of living with secrets from the people you love, it's difficult to enjoy life to the full and can be very lonely ... and that's experience speaking :frown:

You just have to ask anyone who works in G.U.M. clinic who will tell you that they never trust a smiling heterosexual.

[postman]

Thanks for all the friendly replies guys......after all these years I tend to just think of "living with secrets" as living in general.......
and I am very lucky in that my married life is very happy and certainly not lonely......
my wife is my best friend in the world and also my lover (just not the only one)......I am not likely to change the status quo any time soon.
I avoid sending personal texts to my special "friend" which might come back and bite me on the ass and only have "fun" behind locked doors........ my friend has been in a long term gay relationship for nearly 10yrs and together we just take up the slack........ and keep each other happy.....although I do sometimes remind him that I met him first

It is great to find somewhere like this and share experiences with others..... the posts are very insightful and peoples stories and takes on life can be very comforting.....much respect to one and all

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Hi and welcome to GS.

“Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated.”

Confucius quote (China's most famous teacher, philosopher, and political theorist, 551-479 BC)

From anicent times the Human race enjoys making life complicated, why would we do it if we did not.

Our legal system is full of complicated people. try reading any legal document.

[Ultra]

Hey hey! There's many people like you appearing and perhaps this forum will help ya out. I'm reading more and more about gay people who are around your age. The more I read, the more I learn and understand what you're all going through.

[marshlander]

It would be wonderful to think that our generation is going to be the last one to go through this nightmare of parallel lives, but given the number of 'phobes and vested interests out there I think we are not out of the woods yet :frown:

[princealbertofb]

Postman, hello,
I don't think you are at all alone in your situation. There are many people who are living said "lie" because it's more comfortable for them maybe, and because society isn't ready to accept that our sexualities are so diverse (and also complicated sometimes). Hope you find a few answers to your questioning but also maybe it'll just be nice to get it off your chest with like minded people. to GaySpeak in any case...
PA

[princealbertofb]

Thanks for all the friendly replies guys......after all these years I tend to just think of "living with secrets" as living in general.......
and I am very lucky in that my married life is very happy and certainly not lonely......
my wife is my best friend in the world and also my lover (just not the only one)......I am not likely to change the status quo any time soon.
I avoid sending personal texts to my special "friend" which might come back and bite me on the ass and only have "fun" behind locked doors........ my friend has been in a long term gay relationship for nearly 10yrs and together we just take up the slack........ and keep each other happy.....although I do sometimes remind him that I met him first

It is great to find somewhere like this and share experiences with others..... the posts are very insightful and peoples stories and takes on life can be very comforting.....much respect to one and all

Thanks for that mark of respect... mile: