I came out to my mom two years ago on this day

[Ultra]

It sadly didn't go to well. I'm gonna quote myself about this issue I presented on another board. I have edited out a name for his protection.

Now I'm going to come out to my parents sometime tonight... so what should I expect? Yeah I also need some advice on how I'm gonna approach it. I'm pretty sure my mom is not gonna mind. But... then there's my dad who is pretty homophobic. Now is this unusual... I've thought I was straight the whole time and for a long time. I never heard of someone well into their 20's just discovering this. Now let me explain to you how <censored> and I became partners.

Pretty much, I have come out to you all now as you read this. Now here's what happened. Ok, so as I said in <censored>'s latest thread... I'm his partner. First of all, it's a pretty long story on how we became partners so I'm gonna try to make it not that long. I met him at another forum. Don't wanna bother mentioning it, but I think he might of mentioned it here once or so. First of all, according to him... I never really liked him. I considered him my best friend over a year ago. I had feelings for him and there were hints of me getting into a relationship. That's when I found out that I was gay. Now before that, I only had a couple crushes on two guys when I was in junior high school.

So anyway, it wasn't until March 23, 2008 when I PMed him over at another forum (not the one we met on, but a better one) and I wrote in that PM that we should get into a relationship. At first I was really skeptical that it would work and well it's been the most successful relationship I've ever been in my life. I had other girlfriends (mostly online ones) and only 2 girlfriends I had in person.

This is quite amazing really. My partner is the only guy I am totally attracted to. So I dunno I consider myself gay... yet I'm STILL mostly attracted towards the opposite sex. Guys really don't attract me at all. However I know what my partner looks like from pics I've seen of him and I totally dig him. I love him more than anything in the world. So hmm... yeah I must be one in a few guys like this. I know I can't be bi, cos then I would into guys as much as I'm into girls. So I'll just consider myself gay... since I lost interest in girls. But yet I'm still attracted to 'em and I really can't help that.

So yeah there you have it. I pretty much joined this forum while I thought I was straight and well my best friend who would become my partner told me to join. See I was never homophobic at all (many years ago before I learned about homophobia I was) and so I joined. It feels great being gay and now being here means a lot more now that I am gay.

Then here's the result...

Ok... I came out. I only came out to my mom and didn't go very well... she doesn't believe me at all. She called me an asshole and thought I was stupid. And she wants me to stop talking to my partner. I will never ever stop talking to him, I love him with all my heart. Why does she think I'm joking? I was expecting her to say "great news" or something. But all I got was that I'm an asshole and she thinks I'm messing around. What should I do? I must explain to her that my partner is the true love of my life.

A response to one of the member's posts...

Yeah, I'm really in tough situation with my parents right now. Mostly my mom... she still thinks that I want a girlfriend. NO, I do not and I never will. As for meeting someone, no I won't do that... I'm not going to do that at all. I really don't know what to do. I'm trying to explain to her and nothing is working! She tells me to drop it and she doesn't want to hear anything more about it. So what should do I? I have no idea what to do.

So what do you think about this?

[TuxSky]

I hate that, I don't know why parents could be in so much denial. When I was "almost outed" and was trying to tell my mom that what I did/do was of my own free will she kept saying that it wasn't! That it was someone else's fault, she kept thinking I was molested or something. I had to lie and say I was being "talked to" by a guy to end (which seemed like it was going to go on forever if I kept saying it was all me) the argument.

What came about your situation? Is she still acting like that? And your relationship?
I hope I don't bring back any bad memories of yours... I apologize if I do.

[Ultra]

Unfortunately, yes she is still acting like that. I don't understand why. A year ago, she really wasn't. She's one of these mothers that flip-flops, just like my ex's mother.

Around October 2008, my ex's mother and my mother almost talked. It wouldn't have been that great. My ex's mother was apprehensive about me the whole time I was in contact with my ex. She did think I was a "cool guy" 2 years ago, but I was once webcamming with my partner... she comes by and she gives me an ugly look. This happened in early 2009. She apologized about that, however she didn't mean it at all.

[Sil]

I feel for you man, I don't think there's anything you can really say about this situation. It's one of those where people are just reacting to things and you have to ride the storm for a bit.

My parents didn't say anything for a good few moments after I told them I was gay, which was in some ways worse than them being disbelieving or curious they tried to reproach it as a compromise like "maybe you're just bi" which really broke my heart, I hated having to do it to them in a way.

A lot of the time people let their imaginations run wild, especially parents; they think their kids have afar more interesting and provocative lives than they actually do (at least in my youth) despite all the real dirt going on for the lucky few. Most of us just get high or drunk together, play videogames and occasionally fool around. It's weird to think that some of our parents MUST have experienced some curiosity at some point, yet they're very quick to chastise you and make you feel like it's bad behaviour. But it's not a perfect world.

I'm hoping your search for a new guy goes well, things should get a little easier all the time

[fenris]

My mom first was a bit quiet.... whatever quiet means in this family..... and then it was ok.... and then she would try to watch for a partner "because you are obnoxious without a partner"... and like i told in another thread ... she explained my nephew the difference between normal an HomoGENised milk ... with " ask you uncle... he has some" ... "has what"
Homo Genes ....
*growl*

[Ultra]

Well I came out to the group. It went really well, much better than coming out to my mom. Yup!

[Genersis]

Every situations different.

My family never talk about anything to do with relationships/sex.
Its just not normal in my family
So once i told my brother and mother, my orientation is rarely ever talked about.(Not that it bothers me)

Hope things get better for you Cutieboy.mile:

[Nat3]

Hi, I'm new here. I came out to my mom uhm about a year ago before my Senior year in high school started, now I am open to all my friends and anyone who cares to ask. I first told my best friends, then my mom. She still thinks that I'm gay,because I'm still a virgin on "straight sex", lol I know....stupid, sometimes she teases me asking me which guy I think is the best looking and if I would ever date him, and I tease her by renting gay themed movies and watching them as a family. I was fortunate to have parents like that,but when I decided to come out I was ready to lose everything even my family. I did not want to hide in the closet for the rest of my life, creating a pseudo illusion of myself. I think that what you did was the best, sometimes we aren't our true selfs due to fear of what may happens if our parents or someone close finds out the truth. I feel better, knowing that I was honest to them and myself as well. Hopefully, a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and even thought at the moment the problem seems grim, I think with time it will get better. We usually close ourselves to things which we fear, I think the reaction your mother gave you was a normal one(it could have been worst xD); and anyways what matter is what you feel! and how being out makes you feel...hopefully, better=).

[posterpicture]

I don't think I would come out to my mom ever. I live away from my family ( different country) so I am planning on hiding it forever @@. Maybe when I have to show them my girl friend, I will ask a sexy lesbian to do it for me :"> It 's just scary to come out to mom

[Crisit21]

I hate that, I don't know why parents could be in so much denial. When I was "almost outed" and was trying to tell my mom that what I did/do was of my own free will she kept saying that it wasn't! That it was someone else's fault, she kept thinking I was molested or something. I had to lie and say I was being "talked to" by a guy to end (which seemed like it was going to go on forever if I kept saying it was all me) the argument.

What came about your situation? Is she still acting like that? And your relationship?
I hope I don't bring back any bad memories of yours... I apologize if I do.

Yeah i have exact the same problem with my mom, she allways tells me to find a nice girl or she asks me how am i doing if i met some nice girl and so on, its really depressing because i live in a homophobic country and i know that my mom is suffering because i came out to her...