Can't determine myself, am I or not !
10-21-2010, 05:09 PM
Yes I know the word is Homosexual - however too many people look at the word and see homoSEXual and think its only about sex.
Your ability to jack off to a porn several times doesn't make you gay or straight or bi - it only means you are sexual - and nearly all humans are sexual beings.
How we identify ourselves as gay, bi or straight depends on which gender we connect more with on all of those other fronts, emotionally speaking.
Love is a complex thing - its has many flavors and types. For instance you do not love your mom as you would say a husband or a wife.
Thus when I say 'it depends on who you love' I am not saying that that love should include the love of your mother, the love of your sister or brother, but I am focusing on the love of a lover. And all that love includes.
An example of what that love would include:
Gay males fall in two general categories 'tops' and 'bottoms'. While this also is a descriptive term for sexual activities, it is more of an emotional mind set.
A 'top' would be the man who is the protector, the defender, the one who wants to do the holding and wants to be 'the man'.
A 'bottom' would be the one who wants to be held, wants to be protected. What we do in bed sexually often affirms one of these two 'sides' to human nature.
These side emotions, or underlying emotions take place even if a couple are not actively having sex.
It is those other emotions (other than lust, and pleasure) that decides if one is gay, bi, straight.
If one is exclusively feeling all of these other emotions with a specific gender then that gender decides if one is 'gay' or straight. If a person can feel those emotions with either gender, then they are bi.
Let us assume for a moment you are a top. If you have with the sexual desire an intense desire to hold another man, to be 'his protector and his lover and all of that, you are most likely gay.
If on the other hand you are a 'bottom' and you want to be held by a man, loved by a man, and feel his strength because it gives you a sense of security (aside from the pleasurable aspects it may hold) you are most likely gay.
As for being attracted to a narrow band of body types. I think a lot of people are exactly like that. If not then its just you and me.
For instance I like muscle on a man, I like for my partner to be thick. But not overtly muscled like a body builder, more or less well muscled with a layer of padding like a wrestler.
I think that Marc Dalton is cute (A porn star) however I find Jouko Ahola (Worlds Strongest man in 1997) to be hot. Why? Because Jouko Ahola is not well cut and defined, he is 'thick' while Mr. Dalton is too defined, too cut for MY tastes.
These are personal preferences of types having no bearing on my being gay, bi or straight. The fact that I love men, love being with men for sex and more (committed long term relationship, cuddling on the couch in front of TV, sharing every aspect of my life) is what decides I am gay.
Thus you should consider all of these other things, not just sex and your 'type' in the question of if you are gay, bi or straight.
Ultimately you do have a choice in how you identify yourself. YOU pick the label that you want to wear.
Your ability to jack off to a porn several times doesn't make you gay or straight or bi - it only means you are sexual - and nearly all humans are sexual beings.
How we identify ourselves as gay, bi or straight depends on which gender we connect more with on all of those other fronts, emotionally speaking.
Love is a complex thing - its has many flavors and types. For instance you do not love your mom as you would say a husband or a wife.
Thus when I say 'it depends on who you love' I am not saying that that love should include the love of your mother, the love of your sister or brother, but I am focusing on the love of a lover. And all that love includes.
An example of what that love would include:
Gay males fall in two general categories 'tops' and 'bottoms'. While this also is a descriptive term for sexual activities, it is more of an emotional mind set.
A 'top' would be the man who is the protector, the defender, the one who wants to do the holding and wants to be 'the man'.
A 'bottom' would be the one who wants to be held, wants to be protected. What we do in bed sexually often affirms one of these two 'sides' to human nature.
These side emotions, or underlying emotions take place even if a couple are not actively having sex.
It is those other emotions (other than lust, and pleasure) that decides if one is gay, bi, straight.
If one is exclusively feeling all of these other emotions with a specific gender then that gender decides if one is 'gay' or straight. If a person can feel those emotions with either gender, then they are bi.
Let us assume for a moment you are a top. If you have with the sexual desire an intense desire to hold another man, to be 'his protector and his lover and all of that, you are most likely gay.
If on the other hand you are a 'bottom' and you want to be held by a man, loved by a man, and feel his strength because it gives you a sense of security (aside from the pleasurable aspects it may hold) you are most likely gay.
As for being attracted to a narrow band of body types. I think a lot of people are exactly like that. If not then its just you and me.
For instance I like muscle on a man, I like for my partner to be thick. But not overtly muscled like a body builder, more or less well muscled with a layer of padding like a wrestler.
I think that Marc Dalton is cute (A porn star) however I find Jouko Ahola (Worlds Strongest man in 1997) to be hot. Why? Because Jouko Ahola is not well cut and defined, he is 'thick' while Mr. Dalton is too defined, too cut for MY tastes.
These are personal preferences of types having no bearing on my being gay, bi or straight. The fact that I love men, love being with men for sex and more (committed long term relationship, cuddling on the couch in front of TV, sharing every aspect of my life) is what decides I am gay.
Thus you should consider all of these other things, not just sex and your 'type' in the question of if you are gay, bi or straight.
Ultimately you do have a choice in how you identify yourself. YOU pick the label that you want to wear.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Virgo
mile:
thought about spending my life only with one person was disgusting !!! by just thinking about that made me feel like I'm caved. though I want son or daughter, perhaps I really am afraid of not finding real second half because I quite often think about that, I mean real second half, yes I've been in love but never felt that she was the one
