Alright, so I'm 20 years old and I'm pretty "scared" to bottom. I've had one guy inside me once, and it hurt before he could even really start so I made him pull out. I've never done any adventuring in that part of my body before, so I was wondering?
How can I make bottoming more pleasurable? Is it just a matter of sticking a finger in there and getting more practice or is there something else I could do? Mentally, I love the idea of bottoming, but whenever I try it. I tense up and it never ends up well.
HALP!
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Before I first bottomed, I got a training set of butt plugs. It helps prepare you and lets you understand the speed at which insertion can occur. Or the number of tentative insertions/pull-outs you need before getting it all the way in. You have to learn to relax in to it, so don't worry if it doesn't go in the first time.
With my boyfriend I he often lies down and I sit on top of him and that way I can control the speed of insertion. It means that if it gets too uncomfortable (because you are still a little tense) you can pull out and try again at your own speed.
Above all, just remember to relax and take your time. You'll get there in the end I'm sure.
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If the pain is from the sphincter (the ring of muscle that ends the anus) Then being relaxed and 'massaged' and having him insert one, then two, then three fingers over time to 'open you up' should greatly reduce the initial pain.
The Sphincter is not designed to be pushed inward, it is designed to be pushed outward, thus it can be painful upon first entry. It adapts to penetration and sex. The anus can open up and accept some pretty decent sized stuff, thus fisting is possible.
Another trick is to "push back" a little. Sort of like attempting to have a bowel movement. You do have some control over the muscles of the sphincter, thus you can 'pucker' and hold back gas and fecal matter, you can also cause the sphincter to push outward (forward) with practice.
If the pain is deeper, from the area of around about the back of the penis, then most likely you have a sensitive prostate. Possibly a swollen prostate.
Mind swollen prostate can be normal for some men and not indicative of any health issues.
When it comes to anal sex there really isn't much one can do about a tender or sensitive prostate. Many men cannot accept anal intercourse because the pain is too much for them. Others have found that the pain passes after a short period of time during anal intercourse.
Relax and get into the 'mood', use anal massage (finger f***ing), use lots of lube, have your partner go slowly at first. Try different starting positions. some men find it easier being on their backs with their legs up, others find it easier being on their belly. Others find 'spooning' on their side to work better.
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