Greetings...

[Mr Hide]

Hi all. Well my screen name says it all... Mr Hide. It seems that I have been hiding all my life from one thing or another. Always living my life as others think it should be lived. The inside of my head is my only refuge, and that is why I am here.

I have been married for almost 20 years, and the wife does not have a clue about how I feel about most things, including sex. We just can't talk.

[marshlander]

Hello, welcome and sorry to hear about that tough place where you live. Many of us have been there. For me, being out on the other side has worked better than I ever dared hope.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sorry to hear that.

YOU made choices over the years and those choices are, it appears, coming back around to bite you on the butt. I feel for you.

The choice is not your sexuality, the choice is how to act and live with that.

I've been with the same man for nearly 20 years, there is one thing that 20 years of a relationship has taught me, I spend less time sleeping in the dog house if we spend more time communicating.

Communication is one of the pillars of a relationship, the other two are commitment and compromise.

Seems to me you have the compromise aspect down, at least when it comes to making pacts with yourself and sticking to them. Mind the way you have done it is not healthy, ergo you are here today to.... I don't know what exactly you are here to do.

Commitment.... I don't know, are you committed to your marriage?

I actually understand the fear and frustration and anguish and bitterness of hiding oneself behind a lie is like, so I do empathize without. I know where you are at mentally and emotionally.

So how can I (we) help you?

[Mr Hide]

Maybe I can't be helped. I have made my bed, and now I have to sleep in the best I can. - It is just strange to finally admit to myself that given the opportunity, I would make love to a man and let him make love to me.

[Rychard the Lionheart]

Hi and welcome to GS.

[Genersis]

Welcome!:biggrin:
[SIZE=2]Please enjoy your stay.mile:[/SIZE]

[princealbertofb]

Hello and to GaySpeak, Mr Hide.... I'd like to think that there are two sides to the word "hide", one being keeping things secret and secretive and the other being SKIN, although generally a tough kind of skin.

I guess we could help you to become what you've been dying to be over all these years. Things are beginning to burgeon probably and now you are a butterfly ready to get out of that chrysalid state. My questions would be:
* How good a relationship do you have with your wife?
* Are you completely estranged from her now?
* Do you have any children?
All these need to be taken into consideration.

While I wouldn't advocate going out to meet another man and having sex with him (or making love to him, as you may want to call it) straight away, I'm afraid it will take some stealth or great courage to come to a new place where you can be who you need to be. A divorce might be a way of looking at it.

You've done one of the hardest things so far and that is admitting it to YOURSELF that you are gay. How did you find out? What made it happen??? Have you found yourself falling in love with another man secretly?

Please give us your news, and we'll see how we can help you through this terrifying and rather awkward stage of life.... some may think it's just a mid life crisis. Those of us who've been through it at roughly the same age know it's not. So let's see if we can help you shed that old HIDE and start life anew in a new skin.

[Mr Hide]

You know, sometimes I think I'm more fucked up than most. I still have a hard time thinking of myself as "gay." Maybe bisexual is a better description of me. But the bottom line is that more and more I find myself having detailed fantasies about being in bed with another man.