So I apparantly came out to my brother last night...

[TuxSky]

I say apparently because I don't remember actively doing so. =\
You see, I have these sleeping pills I'm supposed to take to help with my sleeping problems and when you take them you're supposed to go straight to sleep. Problem is, I remembered I had some homework to do and stayed up to do that.

Turns out it makes you a bit drunk/high and I started telling some people some stuff I shouldn't be saying last night. I've been having some anxiety problems these past few days (the doctor said it's due to stress so I'm thinking it's about all the suicide talk I keep hearing and me having some identity issues =|). My brother somehow found out about my anxiety problems and asked me what's bothering me last night so without thinking due to the pills, I honestly told him what was bothering me. :eek:

So, reading the chatlogs I told him (in a rather non-serious way too, "batting for the same team", I can't believe I said that. LOL) and his reaction was the typical "No, you're confused", "You haven't been exposed to everything yet", "You're still young" etc. and we ended up in an argument. I got serious though and was telling him how I honestly felt. After my failed attempt last time, I now know what to say.

Anyways, the conversation just started going in circles with me telling him I KNOW I'm gay, that's just how it is, it's no one's fault, I want your support and for you to be there for me etc. and him just saying that I'm confused. I just don't know what to do! Talking to him is a lost cause! He's refusing to accept that I'm gay.

He doesn't live with us but he comes down on the weekends and I just CANNOT handle the conversation that's going to come on Saturday. I think I'll run away for the day (I'm serious) that he's coming here. I think we both just need some time to internalize what went on last night.

At first I was angry at him but I'm not right now, it's hard for me to admit I'm gay but it'll also be hard for him to admit that his brother's gay. He kept telling me that he feels like I'm giving up, that I'm just having some identity issues and instead of figuring out the cause I'm just saying that I'm gay. :confused:

I must admit that it feels really nice to know that I finally said it and that what happens next is entirely up to him.

Also, I just feel like saying I love you guys for some reason. Yes, we may hardly know each other but yeah.... <3

And yeah, I was wacko last night so if I told you guys anything silly it wasn't me.
Well, it WAS me, but I just wasn't thinking when I was speaking.

[Mr. Pancake]

To be honest I think you should stay and talk to him (if your brother brings it up). I'm sure you already know this but most likely you'll get alot of stress off your back if you do. I have a slightly similar story with my older brother, last year during a family Thanksgiving dinner. My brother said:

"Hey, 'Mr. Pancake'...can I ask you a question?

"Yeah...?"

"Are you by any chance gay?"

"N-no...?"

Then I walked away from him as fast as possible. I got so scared! D:<

[TuxSky]

Congratulation !! You just took a big step out of your closet.

Yeah, I still can't believe I really did it.

What your brother told you is exactly what my best friend told me.

I don't think we can convince them in a short, but at least now they have some ideas and can adjust by themselves.

Hope everything works out ok for you.

Yeah, I hope he ends up just accepting it in the end. And thanks, I hope everything works out for you too! Good luck to us both!
Sent you a PM btw~

[Snow]

Grats :] you did the hardest part

i cant even imagine how hard it would be to come out to a family member

[Vikta]

Had a similar experience when I unintentionally came out to my mom. She went on about me being confused...giving up because I haven't met the right girl, blah blah blah... ended up getting dizzy after a few discussions of going in circles, so I just left her to sort thru her emotions. It took me some time to come to terms with being gay, so the least I could do was to extend to her the same courtesy I gave myself...time.

Good luck!

And it will get better!
;-)

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[marshlander]

Even though it wasn't intentional, well done anyway. I suppose you'll need to give him some time to process the information. If he's sensible he'll do a bit of background reading before he meets you at the weekend. Let's hope he logs on to some gay-affirming websites rather than the loony, fundamentalist, ex-gay missionary ones.

[Jay]

Congrats for coming out, TuxSky. Doesn't matter how. What counts is that you're out and bro, that takes a lot of guts.

His reaction was the typical "No, you're confused", "You haven't been exposed to everything yet", "You're still young" etc.

Why do some people insist that they know better about our sexuality than ourselves? Weird.

[princealbertofb]

To be honest I think you should stay and talk to him (if your brother brings it up). I'm sure you already know this but most likely you'll get alot of stress off your back if you do. I have a slightly similar story with my older brother, last year during a family Thanksgiving dinner. My brother said:

"Hey, 'Mr. Pancake'...can I ask you a question?

"Yeah...?"

"Are you by any chance gay?"

"N-no...?"

Then I walked away from him as fast as possible. I got so scared! D:<

People asking that sort of question don't realise how emotionally charged that question is.... When my mother asked me in my thirties, while we were having a deep conversation about my brother dying of AIDS, how could I say "YES, mum I am too." ... ?
I copped out with something like: " I don't like to think of myself that way.", but it didn't mean that I wasn't. Just that I didn't like to use the term at that precise point in time, and not with the emotional charge that was associated with it at that time... She was crying a lot about my brother, and so was I. When I'd mentioned something to that effect in my twenties, she was the one who dismissed that thought. I never broached the subject again. By then I'd got myself a girlfriend, with whom I shared my life for 4 years. As far as my mother was concerned, everything was back to (almost) normal, except for being unmarried... My relationship with my girlfriend broke off naturally, owing to circumstances, more than a will to break it off, and I lived in 18 years of celibacy consequently. I waited another 22 years before telling my mother, who then said it was "OK". Go figure.
So there is a time when the truth is ready to be heard, I guess... and a time when it's ripe to be told.

[princealbertofb]

I say apparently because I don't remember actively doing so. ... I honestly told him what was bothering me. :eek:

... He's refusing to accept that I'm gay.
... He kept telling me that he feels like I'm giving up, that I'm just having some identity issues and instead of figuring out the cause I'm just saying that I'm gay. :confused:

...
Also, I just feel like saying I love you guys for some reason. Yes, we may hardly know each other but yeah.... .

Hooray for that, Tux... and
good luck with that confession. How much older is your brother? I don't suppose he'll understand completely to start with, and he will definitely question your own thinking. I wonder what he'll do with the confession, though. Would you prefer him to keep it a secret from your parents until you're ready to tell them yourself, or would you like him to help you share the news with your parents?

I think the question of GAY or not GAY is emotionally (and legally) charged in Trinidad, so it might be best for you both to keep the secret a while? See how you feel about it.

As for this, thank you very much, TuxSky... and a for you too.
:heartline:

[Sil]

good for you Tux, it aint easy...

Your brother cares for you and looks out for you, and as such he'll be wanting to save you from any harm associated with being gay, the lifestyle. There's also an element of being patronising "you wouldn't understand" seems to be the eternal cry of the older sibling, or older person in general, myself included. I remember it myself and it's infuriating when you know exactly how you feel.

He'll come to terms with it eventually ^_^ but I know how awkward it must be right now... it's just aclimatisation, eventually with time he will become used to the idea when you show your colours over the months and years.