I'm sure there are others like you, who hate the whole thing.... The flamboyant ones tend to be the tip of the iceberg, methinks... So are you attracted to anyone flamboyant? Or are you just attracted to simple straight looking gay men like yourself?
For your safety and secrecy, (privacy) I'd suggest trying to hook up with someone online who seems to share your views... then meet him in a public place for coffee or something like that, just in case you don't like each other, you can run away or part in a friendly way.
Sorry for asking this, Coco, but what makes you think you are gay? Have you experienced it already? Or are you just assuming that since girls don't do it for you, you must be gay?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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AHH!! being gay is so confusing lol!! should i look more gay and wait to be asked out, should i be more confident and do it myself, both? do i have to be less shy :S i mean i considere others shy to be cute...
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The flowers wich bloom in the hidden are often the most beautiful ( asiatic wisdom ).. maybe you should bloom a bit louder :-)  mile:
let others know that you are there by smiling, talking... helping
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princealbertofb Wrote:I'm sure there are others like you, who hate the whole thing.... The flamboyant ones tend to be the tip of the iceberg, methinks... So are you attracted to anyone flamboyant? Or are you just attracted to simple straight looking gay men like yourself?
For your safety and secrecy, (privacy) I'd suggest trying to hook up with someone online who seems to share your views... then meet him in a public place for coffee or something like that, just in case you don't like each other, you can run away or part in a friendly way.
Sorry for asking this, Coco, but what makes you think you are gay? Have you experienced it already? Or are you just assuming that since girls don't do it for you, you must be gay?
since born i liked liked guys, . i have gotten in lots of crushes with other guys, i have never felt anything for a women. as of now i am 100% sure i am gay. though at 9 my cousin used to fuck me i guess i have never REALLY experienced with any other guy...
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I am attached to straight guy but I close all of my feeling for them. If you act straight then there will be a very small chance that someone can pick up your vibe. One again, very small chance.
I am having the same problem too.
But I am dealing with that now by posting my face picture on Grindr and adding gay guys to my facebook. Even though, I show "Interested in woman" for the group of my family and my friends.
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coco33 Wrote:since born i liked liked guys, . i have gotten in lots of crushes with other guys, i have never felt anything for a women. as of now i am 100% sure i am gay. though at 9 my cousin used to fuck me i guess i have never REALLY experienced with any other guy...
OK then Coco you must be gay if that's how you feel... Was the fucking at 9 your own free will? I'm a bit shocked by this bit, because it sounds like you didn't have a choice. Did you?
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coco33 Wrote:AHH!! being gay is so confusing lol!! should i look more gay and wait to be asked out, should i be more confident and do it myself, both? do i have to be less shy :S i mean i considere others shy to be cute...
Look for a shy boyfriend then... I'm sure they exist. There are many hiding behind their computers... because they are afraid of coming out, or because they are just shy socially. Work on finding a computer friend that will want to meet you.
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princealbertofb Wrote:OK then Coco you must be gay if that's how you feel... Was the fucking at 9 your own free will? I'm a bit shocked by this bit, because it sounds like you didn't have a choice. Did you?
its ok. i dont really remeber i was too kid, but it doesnt bother me, i was indiferent. now that i remeber, that wasnt the only. like at 14 i had it with other cousin but its like i dont remeber anything...i guess i liked it... or i dont like very much being under lol i only feel indiference
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Instead of trying to be noticed by gay men to pick you up, why not make friends with a 'known homosexual'. No this is not your booty-call, this will be a friend, your connection to the gay community.
Friends tend to introduce friends, who will introduce you to bars, clubs, scenes - groups of other gays in your local community.
Its called 'networking', getting a group of people who share like minded things that will introduce you to others of like mind.
BTW many do adopt 'gay' as an affectation to blend in, to be noticed. If you affect a character long enough it becomes second nature. Many do so, because like you and me, they have a hard time meeting other gay men.
gays have adopted lots of fashion statements that were intended to be for us to see one another in the crowds of the world, however every 'gay' fashion has been hijacked by straight men. Mustache and goatee has been tried twice, really short super blond hair, bandannas in the pocket, even the formal wear 'pocket square' starts off as being a 'flag' that gay men wore to signal other gay men, it was rapidly adopted by all men as a sensible fashion 'must have'. The list is pretty long.
So your problem is not a unique one, nor is it a new one, its been around for a long time.
Work on making a group of friends, love and sex will come later.
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I have the same problem Coco.
I had a bit of an amusing and surreal experience relating to all this yesterday. I was at a club meeting with four other people, two guys and two girls. One of the girls was a total fox, just ridiculously hot, and one of the guys was my best friend. I was the only gay present. Well somehow the topic of gays comes up and the fox says "it's so weird when people you know turn out to be gay - even when you've known them forever". I turn to my best friend, grinning wide and am like "yeah, that's so true", since he's the only one present that knew. The other girl notices us immediately and says "are you two sharing a moment here?!" Immediately I deny it, still grinning widely. The other guy, who I also consider a friend though I've only known him for a short time (and have yet to tell him), goes on to say that everyone thinks he's gay because he has a gay room mate, and was telling all these funny stories about walking in on stuff etc. Now I know this guy is straight, but for some reason at the meeting he kept having accidental Freudian slips about HIM being gay, and the foxy girl kept making fun of him for it (in a good way though, I wasn't offended in the least). So that by the time the girls had gone, the three of us guys were just looking at each other. My best friend was worried that the girl thought he was gay because of our momentary 'exchange', and the other guy was also worried the girl thought he was gay from all his comments and slips. They were both into her. I was just like "dudes, you realize that I'm the only one here that she thinks is straight right now".
It was surreal, and really funny. *grins*
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