Dad Knows...

[Mr. Pancake]

My dad asked if I was gay curious, and I said yes. Although this is half true because I've never been in a relationship where we met in person yet. But it's also a half lie, because I never felt attracted to a woman in any way, shape, or form.

So because he likes to talk he makes a looooooooooong speech, about how its hard to be gay. He said things like almost everyone hates gay guys, and gays have a much higher chance of getting an STD. Also he warned me about "predators", homophobics that pose as friendly homosexuals just so they can get alone in your apartment and beat you to death with a bat. Every time he said "gay" I cringed.

Later he brought me to a gay community called "Boy's Town" and pointed out gay people in the street. He just searched for two guys or girls together talking on a sidewalk, and just because two people of the same gender were talking to eachother automatically ment they were gay. I didnt even glance at the supposed "couples" on the streets, then later he said he wants me to go to a gay bar with him. I didnt like the idea at all, even when he was driving across the streets of this place I felt extremly uncomfortable. At the end of his tour he said "See? The gay people here are completly normal." I never knew that I thought gay people were strange, thanks for clearing that up Dad!

When we got back to his place, he said that he was glad that I was honest with him, and that he talked to me. He also said he should tell me everything that has to do with gay guys in my personal life. He seems supportive, a little too supportive in my opinion.

I stayed quiet for the rest of the night with this uneasy feeling in my stomach that wont go away. Well anyway some people might feel relieved that they came out to a family member. I didnt feel that way at all, in fact I feel a little depressed now.

[marshlander]

What did you want, him ranting at you and saying you are not worthy to be his son, before he throws you out on the street? Maybe the fact that dad is okay has just made being gay that little bit less exclusive?

To be honest, many people seem to experience a bit of an anti-climax when they find out that coming out wasn't the drama they were expecting. Fathers sometimes take their sons to the pub as some kind of rite of passage into adulthood. In contrast to what might have happened it seems nice that your dad offered to take you to a gay bar Best wishes and hope you work it out.

[fenris]

I agree with marshlander ....
There are far worse ways in which fathers can react to their gay sons, and you must remember that he does not know such a long time, that you're gay ... i think his reaction is very good... and he is at beginning to learn

[colinmackay]

Given the recent spate of suicides in the US he may be worried for you. He is probably trying to show you that he cares. He is probably trying his very best so that his son stays safe.

I know my mum worries that my boyfriend and I tend to walk hand in hand down the street. Otherwise she is very supportive.



Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

[nokaly]

Oh, I don't understand too much what you say, but, it's so sweet, I'm jealous of you, you've the best father in the world, i guess. About talking between you and Dad that's abnormal. I don't talk about a abnormal talking, it like impossible between Dad and Son, Sometimes we make confidence with Mom who easily receive new things. Hmm, My Father telling little, of course, i'm afraid of him when we talk about something. Your Father is kind of, i think. Oh, my dad too )

Maybe he tries to support you, and to become your shield, i mean your guardian.

[posterpicture]

Your dad is totally awesome. He is caring and understanding. I am envy you. I remember one of my favorite quote from a movie is from a dad:

"The fact that you come out to us show that you are a different kind of man now, a honest man."

[Jay]

Mr Pancake, what your dad did probably make you feel awkward. But from what I've read, your dad is an awesome dad. He's very supportive and trying his best to understand the 'environment'.

Give him a big hug and say thank you to him for being an awesome dad.

[OrphanPip]

I think the long speech about how hard it is to be gay is one of the more tolerable parental responses. My mother threw a fit about not having any grandchildren (I have a brother too mind you) and broke down crying on the kitchen floor.

Edit: I agree with Jay also, it just sounds like your father cares about you a lot.

[bluefox4000]

Shit you're lucky. Sounds like a concerned parent. I know plenty of gay men who would give anything to have a dad like that. Take it man. You Are luckymile:

Mick

[TuxSky]

Your dad sounds really nice, Pancake! He's just trying to show that he cares about you. It could have gone down much worse, be happy with how it went down.

When things settled down with my brother after I came out to him, he was a bit "too" supportive as well, borderline annoying actually. I used to avoid him until I realized that he just wants to show that he really does care about me and is there to support me. Eventually, the awkwardness just faded away and I'm really happy that I told him now. Be grateful and don't hesitate to go for him for advice or anything because you think it'll be awkward.