Gay in an intolerant area..

[eastofeden]

2 of my friends are gay and moved to Oregon to escape the southeastern culture. During a conversation with her and her husband and a good friend of mine in her car while on vacation, she expressed her perspective that men cannot have loving relationships with one another, and only do physical things because they are desperate. She blamed drugs for an insanity induced "fetish" of attraction.. and said that she felt sorry for my friends for straying from god.

Charming! Speaking of religion and Atlanta...I know a very religious lady who lives in Atlanta who I think studied religion in college or maybe she has a degree in theology? (I forget the details) ..and she has successfully argued the Bible on a few of the debate sites we both belong to debunking any Biblical reference to homosexuality...she is an Episcopalian and openly advocates for gay priests...very cool lady.

I used to tell her that if I ever felt the need to become religious I would sign up for whatever it is she believes in:biggrin: Anyway...her name is Alicia and she has a cool book site if you like books at all..

[Ultra]

Living in areas where being gay is not tolerated is tough, especially ATL. In fact, my ex and I were harassed by a 44 year old man from there. My ex also lives in an area where being gay isn't tolerated. That was one of the best things about him... he said he was gay and he was proud of it a couple of years ago. Nowadays, he's like anyone in his area. It's quite sad.

[Dville118]

Harassed? How? what area were you in? The city itself iirc is fairly tolerant, but the suburbs, especially the more rural suburbs like where I am tend to be kinda.. well.. backwoods.... not so much.

[Genersis]

....2 of my friends are gay and moved to Oregon to escape the southeastern culture. During a conversation with her and her husband and a good friend of mine in her car while on vacation, she expressed her perspective that men cannot have loving relationships with one another, and only do physical things because they are desperate. She blamed drugs for an insanity induced "fetish" of attraction.. and said that she felt sorry for my friends for straying from god.

Never touched drugs.
And that fact she doesn't "beleave" in gay love sounds like she comes from the "If it ain't straight, it ain't NOTHIN" school of though.

A bit like the following statements:

Its not love, its imagined love. As EVIL as chocolate!

When it's between too consenting men, its not SEX, it's SEXual perversion.

When between two men, its not marriage, its a perversion of nature and tarnishes what "Marriage" and "Love" stand for!
.
Lovely.
Yeah, that area sounds pretty toxic to gay individuals.
I'd follow the others advice.
Its probably a good idea to make a move at some point in the future.

[memphis]

ATL is ten times better than Memphis.

[memphis]

also, i remember being in Toronto feeling like wow.. this is how we should live.

[pktboy]

Dville, I have been so lucky to always be surrounded by the tolerant areas of a capital city in Australia.. I know of the intolerant areas (rural and remote, no surprise there) so I just avoid them.

How did you end up with a house there?

No.. this situation sucks.. I couldn't imagine being in your shoes, I'd be packin my dacks constantly.. feeling uncomfortable..

I say get out you deserve to be comfortable! And such 'oppression' over time just can't be good..

Are you in a position financially to just move? In the coming years perhaps?

[Dville118]

thanks so much guys.

I'm afraid you're right.

I purchased this house before any of these people lived here. I've lived here almost 4 years now. I'm the oldest "neighbor" around me.

it may take some tough choices to move.. I may have to deal with less money and space and less than idea housing for a while (I'm a bit of an interior design snob lol.) but I think it's worth it to keep my sanity/safety.

I'm actually considering moving to another state.. I've been working 10 hour days 6 days a week recently and management is STILL upset with me.. I'm becoming burned out and apathetic to their needs and that's not good.

[Mike]

I know EXACTLY what you're talking about...

I live in Israel and our next-door neighbor has had some words for me, which I have ignored. Now we're not speaking to each other, which I know has something (yet not everything) to do with my being gay.

He's exactly like your neighbor - stupid and ignorant, to say the least and he's interested only in "manly" stuff. I don't want to fight with him, though I won't hesitate, the next time he says something. I am no longer the little boy who would shy away from things like that!

I know your predicament, my friend, I really do... It's awful when disgusting, ignorant people "control" our lives...

I wish I could come and be you friend, so you would not feel alone there.

What I think you should do is - ignore them, try to be as quiet and laconic around them as possible, don't associate with them...
You have to get yourself to be around gay people, who accept you as you are, my friend... and most of all - know that you're the normal one, not them!

Mike...

[Aaycle]

Considering you have recently, mentally come out of the closet yourself, and have only a year ago accepted your homosexuality. This is tough! To be forcefully shoved mentally and physically back into a place that irritates you. I see many people suggesting you move, and avoid, and they ARE right, but this is hard, hard to do, accept, or even imagine. I am more of the foolish type that will provoke, fight, or taunt. And, I am not asking you to do this. But, this is your home of almost four years. Why should you be the one packing up? You have a job to consider, friends, and familiarity. eastofeden gave great advice, in choosing your battles carefully, but, meh!

Am I guessing you are Caucasian? Well how about making known to your neighbours that you have opposite tastes. They are obvious racists, so introduce them to your African American friends. Get a large attack dog, and train him to eat only rednecks.Drop hints that you own a gun, and you keep vacillating about the idea of joining the NRA. If they like honky-tonk, then you love Spoken Word and Atmospheric/Nature sounds only (and insist you make them a CD). They like ribs and ham, well you only eat tofu and hummus. Let emm know that your differences are worlds apart and integration is unlikely. But, just let them know.

You also mentioned that your neighbour is barely holding on to his house. Do you think his finances will cave any time soon thus making any extreme choices moot you may be deciding or have decided? I just hate to know you may give up everything you have worked 10 hour days to achieve. I say suck it up until he moves, and if this isn't soon enough for you, then drop hints you are a loner and prefer it that way. Can you build a wall? I say live life until things become weird between you two, and if you are truly fearful of your life then flee.