Not too sure...

[Totomi]

Hi ppl just wanted some advice on the situation... one of my friends (male) keeps asking if im gay.. hes already got a gf but he is cute :tongue: anyways i dont know if i should tell him can anyone help?? and can anyone tell me how i should come out to my family??

[wouldlikemuscle]

Firstly, your friend: If he keeps asking, then he probably already knows... he just wants you to confirm it. Has your friendship felt awkward recently? If not, then it wouldn't seem as though he has any prejudices, so it would seem safe to tell him. If however, he doesn't take the news well, then the way I see it, it's his problem - not yours.

Saying that, when I was in my teens, I was very much paranoid about anyone ever finding out... even those who I knew full well would be ok with it I daredn't tell, but looking back (hindsight being the wonderful thing it is) I think coming out sooner would have made my life a lot easier.

As for your family, or anyone else for that matter... including your friend above... the how and when you come out should be entirely down to you.
It sounds like you are wanting to tell them pretty soon though. The way I came out to my mum was by the fact that she was asking why I wasn't going out with a close female friend as a girlfriend... to which I said to her, it's because I like lads. Coincidentally, that exact same conversation at later date was how I told my Dad too.

I would suggest that if you havent got that kind of opportunity, to bring relationships into conversation... lead it on to gay relationships and question them about how they feel. If you then feel comfortable with it, tell them.

Others have told their parents in different ways, from writing letters, walking in the room saying their gay and walking back out carrying on with whatever they were doing just beforehand. Some people have been outed, which I think is probably the most awkward... especially if you don't know someone's outed you to your parents.

However you come out to them tho... I hope it all goes well for you!

[Totomi]

nah in fact we've gotten closer lol and i guess ur right
i do trust alot of ppl but yeah im really scared of what there going to say or do for that matter :frown:
lol i guess it would be funny if i just walked in and told her then walk straight back out :biggrin:
i think everyones got there suspicions of me being gay...
and i hope it goes well too and thnx for the help mile:

[drocko17]

Guide to come out of the closet for teenage gay guys
-First of all, convince yourself that you ARE gay or bi, that you like the same sex not just sexually but emotionally also (i mean, to be ready to start a serious relationship).
-If you feel you want to come out but you feel you are not ready enough to face your reality in public; try to figure out all the specific situations you still feel nevrous and concerned about, think carefully and try to prepare youself psicologically to face them.
-Dont do it because you are rushed by an external happening,you should come out when you think its necesary to youself. (for example, look at the situation put forward in 'ready, i think...' thread posted by younggay33 user, i think it's in coming out section)
-Consider that, from then on and if you are well understood and supported by the first person you speak to (more if it's your parents), you will go earning confidence and security to the point of telling 'your truth' to more and more people. Being able to talk to somebody about your deepest feelings and being supported means that you'll start to loose fears.
-Take into account that your 'secret' might be accidentaly spread around without your consent. It would be terrible for you if all the school/workmates,or maybe neighbours or other family members knew about it and you were not proud, happy or psicologically ready enough to face that situation.
-PARENTS: You should know your parents well, and you should also know how might their reaction be (if positive or negative). Mainly, be ready to consider that they wont take the whole of your situation in straightaway, it would be a slow process, cause they might get shocked (particularly if they didn't suspect anything) and they wont be happy with your thing from one day to another. You must be in touch with their emotions as much as you can, make them feel that you love them, listen to what they feel and need;try to console them. If they suspected, they may not get shocked, but that doesn't mean you don't have to know what they feel and be in contact with them emotionally. Make an effort to talk to them as much as you can, you'll soon find that prejudices slowly fade away and you improve your relationship with them (even if it was good before), it will become into a more clear and truthful one.
-FRIENDS:If you think that your parents might have a bad reaction, try first with your friends. You should be careful when choosing if you have several options. Talking to a friend about the deal might also help you to loose your fears and insecurities, if they exist, and also to support and encourage you to face your parents.
-Above all else: BE PATIENT. You'll gain a lot of things being patient,dont rush yourself awkwardly. Try to choose the best situation to come out, analyse that carefully, as it's very important.
-Finally, if everything goes well, the rest will come as a pleasant consequence (as spoty said... i love that phrase),you'll see.

GOOD LUCK!!!

[Totomi]

Guide to come out of the closet for teenage gay guys
-First of all, convince yourself that you ARE gay or bi, that you like the same sex not just sexually but emotionally also (i mean, to be ready to start a serious relationship).
-If you feel you want to come out but you feel you are not ready enough to face your reality in public; try to figure out all the specific situations you still feel nevrous and concerned about, think carefully and try to prepare youself psicologically to face them.
-Dont do it because you are rushed by an external happening,you should come out when you think its necesary to youself. (for example, look at the situation put forward in 'ready, i think...' thread posted by younggay33 user, i think it's in coming out section)
-Consider that, from then on and if you are well understood and supported by the first person you speak to (more if it's your parents), you will go earning confidence and security to the point of telling 'your truth' to more and more people. Being able to talk to somebody about your deepest feelings and being supported means that you'll start to loose fears.
-Take into account that your 'secret' might be accidentaly spread around without your consent. It would be terrible for you if all the school/workmates,or maybe neighbours or other family members knew about it and you were not proud, happy or psicologically ready enough to face that situation.
-PARENTS: You should know your parents well, and you should also know how might their reaction be (if positive or negative). Mainly, be ready to consider that they wont take the whole of your situation in straightaway, it would be a slow process, cause they might get shocked (particularly if they didn't suspect anything) and they wont be happy with your thing from one day to another. You must be in touch with their emotions as much as you can, make them feel that you love them, listen to what they feel and need;try to console them. If they suspected, they may not get shocked, but that doesn't mean you don't have to know what they feel and be in contact with them emotionally. Make an effort to talk to them as much as you can, you'll soon find that prejudices slowly fade away and you improve your relationship with them (even if it was good before), it will become into a more clear and truthful one.
-FRIENDS:If you think that your parents might have a bad reaction, try first with your friends. You should be careful when choosing if you have several options. Talking to a friend about the deal might also help you to loose your fears and insecurities, if they exist, and also to support and encourage you to face your parents.
-Above all else: BE PATIENT. You'll gain a lot of things being patient,dont rush yourself awkwardly. Try to choose the best situation to come out, analyse that carefully, as it's very important.
-Finally, if everything goes well, the rest will come as a pleasant consequence (as spoty said... i love that phrase),you'll see.

GOOD LUCK!!!

Thanks ppl, i think all your advice is awesome and I'm going to tell a close friend tonight mile: i hope it goes well

[drocko17]

good luck again! keep us informed! :biggrin:

[Totomi]

good luck again! keep us informed! :biggrin:

thnx i think i'll need it :biggrin: and i will mile: