I wish that would work, Fenris. :/ You'll be missed EastofEden.
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Wow guys....I feel bad now. I didn't think anyone would even miss me or notice one way or the other really. I reacted in haste because I freaked out but I have to say I would do the same thing again after sitting back and considering it a bit more except I would have explained myself better. I want to make it clear that I dont' see any villains at all...the guy who wants to do a YouTube thing has a great idea that would be beneficial to any website that is hoping to grow and I don't blame him or anyone else at all....
I spent years checking out gay sites (not interested at all in dating sites so that is out) hoping to find a community where the people weren't really mean or vile (alot of sites are like this unfortunately)...and I noticed this site was cool plus there are alot of British people here and I always like the British people I meet so I liked this site...and it was and it still is a great site.
I have always been shocked at the comments part of YouTube and spent enough time already trying to figure out where all of these hateful and vile people come from that make the horrible nasty comments all the time...I learned long ago to ignore the comments part because it is upsetting to be exposed to their comments...I remember the last time was when Teddy Pendergrass died and I was sad and wanted to say something in his memory and then reading the comments I felt sick to my stomach and decided I would never read any of the comments section again...exposing myself to those vile remarks is not good or healthy for my spirit...
...so I would have never shared any of my private thoughts or my picture or my location in the US or my business if I thought for a second that it would be on You Tube and I would be exposed to these people on a personal basis. OMG...I freaked at the thought. I debate on political sites and I do not release or share any personal information or location because it is a really bad idea....but I know that going in and it is the nature of political boards...I absolutely would never post a picture.
I know it is hard for someone who had not experienced it to understand this next part so I will keep it brief...I have been stalked in the past to the point where I had to take legal action...on more than one occasion and by more than one person...one was VERY SERIOUS and the effect it has on you is devastating because you never know at any minute what might happen and it paralyzes you...I realized when I tried to explain it to a few of my friends at the time and they thought it was .....(the disgust still overcomes me at the thought)...they thought it was "romantic" and wished it was them instead. I knew then I had an even bigger problem because no one would have my back and a few of the less scary ones would make their case with my friends to get to me ....the most scary one called all of my family and extended family with scary messages for me for 20+ years and I was always unlisted and tried to not have my name on anything for sooooooooooooo many years...and then friggin "google" came along and after my initial terror I had a breakthrough...bought a gun and mentally I had had enough and I wanted the f*cker to bring it on because I had been fearing him since I was 17 years old and I was tired of it...I think he might be dead now...I am still not listed but if you punch in my name on google he can find me.
So...I select the people I want to share stuff with carefully...alot of times after I type something I get a flashback or a horrible feeling and cringe and want to delete it all but I have to tell myself not to worry about it and I got more comfortable actually but advertising on YouTube and the possibility of opening up my thoughts/pic/location to some of the freaks that troll You Tube ...no thanks. Facebook was already a nightmare for me...I had to delete my account.
So please know it was not my intention to be dramatic or rude...I did a quick edit to say goodbye but it was not a proper goodbye. I will still read you guys and will continue to do so...I did a long time before I got here...but I will not be open and share my thoughts or anything personal...not a good idea and I absolutely do not want to expose myself or my thoughts to You Tube. (Still...a good idea for building a website!)
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wow East you poor thing! I appreciate your desire and need for privacy! The internet just seems to take that away from us!
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