Closted BF - Not sure if I did the right thing
11-16-2010, 08:08 AM
So I'm dating this guy. There's this ridiculously long story behind our relationship but whatever... we're dating. We're both in the closet but I guess you can say I'm a bit more accustomed to being gay, he's not; he's only just found out that he's not totally straight.
I tell him I love him and sometimes he tells me he loves me back but other times he says stuff like "Me too." and "Right back at you." so I've always gotten this uncomfortable vibe from him. He's even afraid to meet me in public places where we could just pass off as friends since we were friends from square one. He's just so freakishly paranoid that it was making me a bit sad/angry but I realized that I should be patient.
Today, again during a "I love you", hug/kiss moment he pulled away and told me that he isn't sure about this (we're in a private place). So, feeling odd I just asked to talk to him.
I told him that I can sense that he's uncomfortable with being in a relationship with me and that if he wants time that I'll give him time to... find himself or something, to accept that he's gay/bi and that I'll wait for him but if it so happens that he doesn't want to be with me anymore just tell me and I'll move on. I told him that his feelings come before mines, that I don't want to force him into a relationship with me if he isn't comfortable with it. The thing is though, he's the one that started the relationship. :confused:
Anyways, he was just like "I'm sorry, I love you but I just feel confused.". We talked normally after that which is SO silly to me. Did I do the right thing? Was I being melodramatic again? And is he being irrational or am I just being impatient?
He's done a lot of paranoid stuff, we'll be eating at a restaurant or something and all of a sudden he'll say "People are watching." and literally run out of the place. -__-'
There were worse experiences but I'm embarrassed to talk about it.
I tell him I love him and sometimes he tells me he loves me back but other times he says stuff like "Me too." and "Right back at you." so I've always gotten this uncomfortable vibe from him. He's even afraid to meet me in public places where we could just pass off as friends since we were friends from square one. He's just so freakishly paranoid that it was making me a bit sad/angry but I realized that I should be patient.
Today, again during a "I love you", hug/kiss moment he pulled away and told me that he isn't sure about this (we're in a private place). So, feeling odd I just asked to talk to him.
I told him that I can sense that he's uncomfortable with being in a relationship with me and that if he wants time that I'll give him time to... find himself or something, to accept that he's gay/bi and that I'll wait for him but if it so happens that he doesn't want to be with me anymore just tell me and I'll move on. I told him that his feelings come before mines, that I don't want to force him into a relationship with me if he isn't comfortable with it. The thing is though, he's the one that started the relationship. :confused:
Anyways, he was just like "I'm sorry, I love you but I just feel confused.". We talked normally after that which is SO silly to me. Did I do the right thing? Was I being melodramatic again? And is he being irrational or am I just being impatient?
He's done a lot of paranoid stuff, we'll be eating at a restaurant or something and all of a sudden he'll say "People are watching." and literally run out of the place. -__-'
There were worse experiences but I'm embarrassed to talk about it.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
it's going to take some time for him to get used to being gay. It took me some time. He will gradually get used to it as time goes by.
