Aaycle Wrote:Spontaneity, is a beautiful thing, and also is precisely what makes 'Pretty Woman' a gaddamn GREAT film. You know where he shows up in the limo and climbs her stairs (although he is afraid of heights) and presents her with roses and an entirely new future. Now, I gave you this sappy start to say,without surprises would life be fun, and interesting... something to hope for.
Presently, your post is unanswered because you have left out pertinent information that will advise you fully. We cannot operate on biased information (well, I can). I have some questions:
What kind of ground rules have you two set in this relationship?
Have you agreed to be a discrete/invisible lover?
Why are you not at his Thanksgiving dinner table?
In the essence of my entire line of questioning is, what kind of relationship is this?
But, back to your initial question, which brought you here with this ambiguous post. If it was me that was texting ANYONE, I shared myself with and, they ignored me entirely, and they are in perfect health/form, when I see them again, I would not utter a single word--not then (when I see him) or ever after. If you do not understand what I am saying, here is a more simple statement; I would dump his ass like the garbage he is. One should not tolerate being treated like a tool--only used when needed. It is degrading to you and your self-esteem. But, disregard this (in your instance), for this should only be executed in a situation where, ALL the variables, are known and one did not invite anyone to shit on them.
Get back to us with all the variables, and we'll see if we can assist/advise you better.
Okay. I will tell you our story. I'll try not to be biased and play the victim here. God knows I want to settle our differences and start anew again. Anyway, we've been together for just 2 months. Like any other new couple, everything was fine at first. But he's the busy guy. He got different things he does everyday, seven days a week. I try to be really understanding even though we could only hang out once in every two weeks. I sometimes complained or according to him, "drama" because every time we swap messages, he would only response very little and very uninterested. And he is the type of person who doesn't want to see me unless I ask him first.
This is a discreet relationship. He doesn't want anyone know about him and us. I think it is because he is a professional? I am not sure. He lives with his roommate. Yet his roommate barely goes home, and whenever he's out then we could hang out (and that is if he tells me he's out or not, that's why I usually ask him). Anyway, whenever I leave his house, I would normally want to kiss him goodbye, but as long as the door opens (even if everyone's sleeping or the outside is dark), he doesn't want to kiss me. He's that very dl.
I'm the submissive guy. I'm the caring person. I honestly can tell you that I want some affection & attention. It makes me sad whenever he texts me like I'm just a stranger. No sweetness, no caring thoughts, nothing. Maybe I'm asking too much or something. I got that. Or maybe you guys tell me that its just 2 months or something. But I don't know if I'm right but how could we build a true relationship if he treats me like a friend? I do not know. Correct me if I'm wrong. I want some honest answers.
I have flaws. I ask him if he could text me whenever he gets home. That would at least be his only text throughout the day. I know deep inside, maybe its wrong to ask him that, but for me, that will tell me if he at least cares or thinks about me. And whenever I ask something like that, he would tell me that I'm causing drama. Maybe he is right. What do you think?
Remember, we only see each other once in every two weeks to think that he is only half-a-mile away from me. And oh, his family and relatives are in the mainland. We are here in Hawaii. Anyway, I'm not asking him to hang out everyday because I know that's impossible. I just want him to at least give me some time. I believe when he asks me to be his boyfriend, I assume that he can work out his schedules. We only went out to watch movie one time. We never went malling together.
Sometimes it scares me to talk because I feel like if I say something, he gets it in a different way. Maybe its how I use words, but deep inside, I don't mean anything to harm or start some issue. I am the type of guy who doesn't want problems. I mean see here I am trying to ask for help to resolve this issue.
So, yeah, last Thanksgiving. I wasn't at his Thanksgiving table because I was with family in the morning/afternoon. Before that, in the morning, he texted and greeted me Happy Thanksgiving. I replied and said, "Happy Thanksgiving and I'm thankful to have you in my life." His response was, "That's too soon to say yeah?"... and I was like Huh? I was like "I'm just appreciating you. It's Thanksgiving, you know?" And he replied, "Ok." What the??
When I was with my family, I texted him asking how his day so far was. He replied. We swapped messages and he stopped. When I got home, I texted him if his roommate was there and if I could come over. He didn't answer. So, I decided to go to this house. I parked my car. I called him again. No answer. I went off my car and stood by their house downstairs (he lives in an upstairs apartment). I called him, no answer. I could hear the ring tone downstairs and he was singing. So I tip-toed going upstairs by his door and he saw me. Then you know the story. Again, I admit I was wrong to come over unannounced.
Then I saw him he logged off his email and turned off his computer monitor.
He said, that creeped him out. That I shouldn't have done that. True. I apologized. He barely talked to me. Silence in the air. You know the feeling like as if he caught me cheating on him? Which I know I didn't? Then he mentioned about 4 long text messages he thinks I sent him last week about me saying..."Do you understand???" as if I bursted into anger. Honest to God, I DO NOT KNOW OR RECALL what he was saying. I asked him MILLIONS OF TIMES if he could just tell me what it was but he wanted me to remember what it was. Up until know, I still do not know. I have this friend, much like a sister. I usually tell her what's up about us. If something like that happened, for sure, I'd told her about it. And she said nothing.
To ease the tension, I asked him if he wanted my massage. I usually give him massage because he likes it. So I gave him massage. Catered him, giving him some blanket and pillow. After that, he went to sleep so I left. Next day, Friday. I told my friend about it and she said, try text him this message. I didn't know what to do, so I followed her.
This was the text message: "I been thinking about what you said about them 4 long text messages. let me tell u its no way it was me. im not that type of person who sends long message unless if i have to coz that person is too busy to talk to me. do me a favor get that info right. i no like people gettin upset with me for somethin i didnt do. i wasnt sneaking up on u last nite even if it looks like i was. i apologize if u got offended and if it was rude. but if u cud let me explain to u that i was textin&callin u and i could hear the ringtone downstairs but u was just singin&ignorin it and i dont get that explain that to me? u said u no like drama right? thats gud i respect that so lets cut the chase and tell me what is this we're doin? i remember u tell me that ur not up for games. so what am i to u? and what do u think this is?
I kind of deleted his response. But I remember he was saying that it's seems like he's making this up and he thinks he's not. And he still can't move on about me going there unannounced which I've already said sorry a lot of times. He cussed. He said why I blamed him. My reply: I don't understand y u cant tell me whats making u upset ryt now because like i said i dont recall sending u anything. the least u cud do is to make it easier for the both of us & just tell me what is it thats makin u so upset. i neva blamed on any1 nor even told u that ur makin this up. but if u cud please help me out & tell me whats exactly there is to know. thank u & have a blessed day.
His response, yeah in all caps: HEY, U DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT COMING TO SOMEBODY ELSE'S HOUSE UNANNOUNCED, STANDING OUTSIDE WATCHING YOU IS CREEPY & RUDE?
My reply, yeah in lower case: I wasn't even standing outside watching you. I was downstairs tried to call u but u didnt answer so i went up to ur door. and ok i got that part and i said i was sorry for it. i was talking about the text message & not the door part.
He never replied ever since. I'm sorry if this is too long already. I believe that I've answered your questions. I know I did something wrong. Please be true to your answers. Please tell me what I need to work on, what are his mistakes, what should I do, what should we do, if there's still future for us, or this won't work out anymore. Of course, I still want to make this work. I still want to make up. If there's still a way, I would love to do that. Thanks everyone for response. Looking forward for some help. =)
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