Signing Off from GS

[Jay]

Alright guys, time for me to sign off from GS.

I honestly thought that I'm going to be in GS for a longer period of time but my heart tells me that it is time for me to go. I know that I can just become an inactive GS member instead of deleting my account but I am more comfortable to remove it.

I have progressed a lot in life within my short stay in GS. I thank everyone in GS for providing me with good advice and support.

Sexuality

With the support and advice given by my friends in real life and GS, I have come out to many.

Most of my friends and all of my colleagues now know that I am gay. I'm neither shy nor scared to identify myself as a gay guy when being approached/flirted by gay guys now.

Yes, I understand that I should be careful as I am still seen as a Muslim due to my race. But baby steps are needed as I don't want to live in the closet for the rest of my life. I am what I am and I will fight for it.

I know things will get complicated in the future - Complication with my religious family. But I am honestly ready to face it. Even if they disown me, I am ready. I rather to be disowned by my family than lying to myself about my sexuality.

Love and Relationship

I am still single but I am no longer afraid to be approached by men.

Previously I would avoid guys as I thought that I am not good enough for anyone - thanks to my visibly injured leg and also few other minor things. But I have learned to accept myself as who I am. Imperfection is a matter of fact is beautiful and also perfect.

Permission to gloat - I'm being approached and flirted by a lot of hot men right now. Yeah! :biggrin:

But serious relationship still has to wait after I have completed my surgery. But hey, if a serious relationship happens before my surgery then that's that, right? Love happens, right? But I still prefer it to happen after the surgery.

Health

In the past, I simply cannot run for a long duration due to my injured leg. One minute was the maximum duration. My left leg can't handle the gravity impact. So I had to rely on brisk walk.

Few months ago, I accidentally injured my injured leg. It was painful. I felt like my leg was stabbed multiple times daily with a knife that I struggled to walk for two to three weeks. The pain eventually disappeared and all of the sudden, I can run for miles and hours nonstop daily. I felt like crying when I discovered it for the first time.

With the 'recovery' of my injured leg, I have decided to enroll myself into a night dance class as dancing has been in my blood since I was a baby. I was actually inspired by my good friend (aka my first crush) who really lives his life to the fullest. I hope one day I can choreograph a dance properly and record it in a video. I also hope that I can perform my choreography in public once again. It would great if I can join a dance competition. It doesn't matter if I win or not. I just would like to dance and make myself proud.

Individual

I'm a very confident guy but granted, fluctuated once in a blue moon.

I was confronted by a few friends regarding to this. According to them, my problem has something to do with extreme modesty and too much humble in everything. Being humble is good but it needs a border. Too much modesty creates inner problem. I started to doubt my own skill and confidence, "Did I do my project good enough? Am I good enough?"

I'm doing my best to fix and improve this problem.

Aside from that, I'm becoming a more stronger and independent person than I was before. I appreciate and love myself. I'm proud to be who I am today.

Conclusion

I'm not sure what happened but things get awesomely better for me now. I am blessed. I am sure that some sort of complex problems will arise from time to time in the future but I will face it wisely and maturely.

2011 hopefully will be a big year for me. Surgery, learning French, trip to Borneo, moving to a new house, new side career, officially settling for a boyfriend :biggrin: and more. I hope all these turn out well.

Thank You

So last but not least, I would like to say thank you to everyone in GS for providing me with good advice and unconditional support. I will miss you guys. Thanks again everyone.

Alright so, I am Jay, signing off. Salutes!

Regards,

Jay

[posterpicture]

awww, we will miss you a lot jay. We start GS at the same period of time so I feel like we are sitting in same class at a virtual school. And now you graduate
I wish you luck in your life!

[East]

Jay...you are one of the reasons I still love to read this board....I will definitely miss you and your presence and I wish you the best in your life. In a short time you managed to capture my respect and admiration and that is not easy to do...I wish you much luck and success and I hope you stop in and give updates occasionally.

[marshlander]

Best wishes, Jay. I'm pleased that life is treating you you better.

[fenris]

This is what makes me really angry here on GaySpeak. Taking and Using help and advice from others, making friends ..and then... leaving.. instead of helping others and being there for others.

[Ultra]

Jay, I'll miss ya. I remember your reading posts and you've made great contributions. Good luck in everything you do. Maybe just maybe you might consider rejoining. If not, that's cool. See ya!

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

Best of luck to you Jay

May all of your problems be so small you do not know they are there.

[joseph]

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ggodby

[marshlander]

This is what makes me really angry here on GaySpeak. Taking and Using help and advice from others, making friends ..and then... leaving.. instead of helping others and being there for others.

I hadn't thought of it like that, but it is certainly a point of view :eek:

[Gareth125]

I personally think to leave is not the end , its the start of a journey , you can always come back if you feel you need the support , after all it is an internet forum and sometimes we have to get on with our lives knowing where to find help if you need it . I used to come in here a lot and so valued everyones support , have made so excellent friends who have been there for me . I come in from time to time to catch up and just have a natter sometimes in the chat room , read the posts , comment on a couple . Its good enough for me to know where to come if i need more support . Good luck Jay , hope you have fun on your journey xx