For the elder statesmen ;)

[charley]

Is the prejudice against gay acting gay guys worse nowadays? I realize that the whole unisex/androgynous ideal of the late seventies (when I was a kid) has basically gone down the tubes, it's boys in blue and girls in pink. I also realize that with the focus on us in the media (who is/who isn't) nobody wants to look like a comic. But ...

I was singled out and called "faggot" from about age ten right through high school. When I got to University it was much better, but after school and getting into the working world, I really made the effort to butch it up, (the environment was macho) and succeeded. But when I see the seemingly recent paranoia (oh, nobody would think *I'M* gay!) I wonder. Sure, fems have always taken it on the chin. But in the late eighties I had a relationship with a Marxist DJ who wore base, rouge, mascara, the works, daily. Nobody ever would have thought of calling him on it, and nobody seemed to mind. Nowadays, I wonder...

Of course we were young, but really, does it do anyone any good, does it do us any good, to be tripping over ourselves (so it sometimes seems) to try to act as though we were straight as boards?

Acting "straight" has become second nature to me - but when relaxed, or highly excited, I kind of break through. I guess this ramble shows the confusion in my mind. In person, I am fairly spontaneous, and only cringe later. But really, what is wrong with a fem guy, is it any worse than any other way to be? I mean, "White acting Black guy." Really!

Maybe I'm just bitter because the world didn't pan out into the unisex utopia I had hoped for when young. It just seems, though, like the opposite has happend and it makes me sad to think we ourselves are prejudiced against ourselves... we sure rally when a straight guy puts down a feminine gay man, but then if we do it...

Maybe this should have been in Debates. Sorry as heck it's so long

[Mr. Not So Lonely]

guilty as charged nothing pisses me off more than a stereotypical gay man or ( flaming queen as i call them ) calls me girl friend or princess or gurl. I am not a girl I am a man. Just because i am homo emotional dose not make me female.

[fredv3b]

Is it prejudiced to want a man to be a man?

I don't agree with your 'White-acting Black guy analogy', because no-one literally means 'straight-acting'. Literally straight-acting means acting as if you are attracted to women, that's being in the closet. Straight-acting basically means masculine-acting.

[Genersis]

Does the term "Straight acting" sound a little homophobic to any one else but me?
Its like saying gay men can't BE masculine, they just PRETEND to be.
I know when people say it they mean it in the "behaving" sense, but why not use that word instead?
Rather than the dual meaning of "acting".

Sorry, it just anoys me when people use that term. I'm too nit picky.:redface:

[fredv3b]

I don't like the term either but it's the one in use.

[DarkDaisuke]

Eh I really don't care how stereotypical you are; so long as you're a good person. I mean I'm pretty flamey acting, but not on purpose yet gay guys act like fucking asses about it because I'm not macho -_- Better off without you! m meaning to say is basically the gay community needs to learn acceptance within it's own community before looking to others for it first.

[matty7]

i 'd rather people are just themselves, if you've spent all your school and adult life having femenine mannerisms then thats great and i have no probs at all,, its when someone puts on the fake image that i hate or fake anything for that matter...i am the sum of all my lifes parts,..the upbringing, enviroment, friends etc...i just turned out appearing straight...not an act - its just me, if you have a feminine side then dont hide it as its part of your personality..

as for getting called faggot = thats just another form of bullying done by groups or individual usually agains a smaller or out numbered victim - would any one call a 6ft 6 mountain of muscle a fag - i think not haha

[fredv3b]

But who is the true me?

[East]

Interesting post Charley and I agree with most of what you said..

I was a sociology major in college and one of the first things that fascinated me was the idea that oppressed groups of people oppress each other and within that framework are the dynamics where oppressed groups of people set up a system where the most desirable members of the oppressed group are those who most closely resemble the oppressors.

This is true historically with black people.....the ones who behaved and acted as 'white" were more easily trusted, admired, ect..

...with women where feminists who were upheld traditional female roles and who were more feminine were far more desirable..

...and it is DEFINITELY happens with the gay community...no question about it. It has always saddened me....asking for acceptance when we dont' give it to each other is just...sad...

[charley]

Hi East, George here.

I don't really know if it was even a good idea to post what I did. I don't for the life of me want to offput with what might be thought of as bitchiness. But this quote is from a gay suicide site that gets like 20K hits a week.

For a discussion of femininity in gay and bisexual males, the over-representation of femininity in these males, anti-femininity attitudes in and outside gay communities, and related negative consequences (such as incidences of attempting suicide for the most feminine gay/bisexual male youth compared to their most masculine counterparts: 48% vs. 11%) see the section on femininity by Tremblay (2000). (
It freaks me out to see sissy boys who might be suicidal dissed eh?

Is it prejudiced to want a man to be a man?

All right then, I will leave others to decide. mile: