Bad Break up and I need some help

[calisurfjump]

I hate to be posting, cuz I just wanna move on with my life. But now I'm really f-ing confused. So my ex was supposed to pick up his stuff today before I headed off to work. I called him several times and left him several txt msg stating that he should be here before 2pm. Well he never replied to the txts nor called back so I left to go to work. Long story short he shows up at my place, my roomie wont let him in to take his things because he still has a few of my things, one of them is worth well over 1500 usd, (skydiver here and he has some of my equipment).

I was very explicit in saying that he should bring over ALL my things so that there are no more connections between us. What does he do? He shows up, when I'm at work, doesn't bring my things and causes a huge scene with my roomie. I don't get this. He had a variety of excuses as to why he didn't bring my things. Hell, he's had over a week to get them together. WTF??? I would think that he would just wanna start his new life with this chick and leave me alone.

I don't get this. Why doesn't he want to make this a clean cut break up? Why does he still torment me? Why couldn't he just bring my crap and leave with his? I would think that since he's in a new relationship, the last thing he would want is reminders of the old one. Especially one where the ex is the same sex as he is.

Well, I had to call him finally cuz he left several msgs. He said the same BS as always. He still wants to be friends, that he's not gay and doesnt like sex with a man. And whenever I brought up that he broke my heart and I loved him he got very antagonistic and said he wasn't gay.

I dont know what to do. I just want him OUT OF MY LIFE. I thought that by this time tonight he would be gone from it. I'm really f-ing confused right now. Also WTF did he text me tonight saying that this was a crazy situation, wants to talk,wants to be friends, wished me a good trip, and says good night. All this while he's with his current GF.

I'm really really confused right now and just want my life to return to normal.

[marshlander]

He wants a guilt-free break-up.

What a pity your room-mate got caught up in the crossfire.

[Sil]

Yeah I did some pretty bad things to one of my exes too after we split up, along similar lines. I don't blame you though, you're reacting purely from hurt and logic doesn't really take a step into it when you have so many strong emotions tearing you up.

Cliches... wonderful cliches... they exist for a reason though, and I found one to be true - after feeling like crap for X amount of time, you DO get over it... really is a healing process, and you start to appreciate your friends, family, and otheer peoples opinions so much more.

I wouldn't want to judge anything you've said or done as wrong. It's like analysing a fight - did I hit hard enough, why am I doing this? there's no sense to it, and you shouldn't guilt yourself.

My ex told me I was being mean a few times after, because I wanted him to hurt too; you can take the moral high ground but I found it VERY difficult.

[calisurfjump]

He wants a guilt-free break-up.

What a pity your room-mate got caught up in the crossfire.

Yeah, my roomie is super nice though. He understands, thank god for him.

What I don't understand is that I gave my ex an easy way out. Just come get your things and we go our separate ways. I was very honest when I left him a message and wrote him and email. Basically not blaming him and saying lets just go our separate ways, no ill feelings. He's had a week to set a date and time to get his things. Why didn't he do it, why does he want this drama???

Why didn't he go for it? Why does he want to drag this out? He's in a new relationship and still wants to have contact with me. This one I really don't understand, especially since he's in a hetreo relationship now. Now he's sending me txts msgs wishing me 'good night'. Seriously, WTF? I'm really confused now. In all honesty I just want him out of my life for good.

If I cheated on my ex and jumped into a new relationship, last thing I would want is contact with my ex. Not that I would do that, but why would I want reminders of my previous relationship.

I'm just really confused right now and scared. I'm going through the wide range of emotions, done my crying and I feel like things are getting better...slowly but surely. I'm scared that if he comes back, I might take him back and I don't want that to happen.

[scottymorg]

He's OBNOXIOUS!
u better find someone better
i mean, no need to waste ur time for such a stupid guy like this

[Nocturnal]

Yeah, my roomie is super nice though. He understands, thank god for him.

What I don't understand is that I gave my ex an easy way out. Just come get your things and we go our separate ways. I was very honest when I left him a message and wrote him and email. Basically not blaming him and saying lets just go our separate ways, no ill feelings. He's had a week to set a date and time to get his things. Why didn't he do it, why does he want this drama???

Why didn't he go for it? Why does he want to drag this out? He's in a new relationship and still wants to have contact with me. This one I really don't understand, especially since he's in a hetreo relationship now. Now he's sending me txts msgs wishing me 'good night'. Seriously, WTF? I'm really confused now. In all honesty I just want him out of my life for good.

If I cheated on my ex and jumped into a new relationship, last thing I would want is contact with my ex. Not that I would do that, but why would I want reminders of my previous relationship.

I'm just really confused right now and scared. I'm going through the wide range of emotions, done my crying and I feel like things are getting better...slowly but surely. I'm scared that if he comes back, I might take him back and I don't want that to happen.

Ok, judging from all of this so far he seems like a drama llama. And it seems, to me, that he might be looking for a way out of his new relationship and the little drama sparks between you two is good enough for him.

I think instead of asking us the questions, you need to ask him what the hell he's thinking and why you just don't care anymore.

[calisurfjump]

Hey just wanted to say thanks to all you guys who've replied to my post. Finally exchanged our stuff and I'm glad to start the New Year on a fresh note. It was a cordial exchange, still didn't have the guts to sit down and talk, but I really don't give damn anymore. If he wasn't man enough to sit down and talk face-to-face, then he really doesn't deserve anything from me. Only a freaking coward breaks up a LTR over the phone.

I know it's gonna take time to heal, but I've come to the conclusion that it's best that he's out of my life. It's gonna be a rough and long road, never been treated like this before, but it was a learning experience that's for sure. Thanks again guys.

[marshlander]